graybeach- you are rare and the type of client we would all want to work with or for...
I was lucky to get exposed to this very early in my career, and my boss taught me how easy it is to say no to these types of guys. Way easier than dealing with their BS. Anyone asking how much you charge for plans or to stamp something is not worth your time, he does not know why he needs you and may never, so why bother. Even if they agree to your fee, these types are usually the hardest to collect from and will be a pain in your butt the entire project, second guessing everything. There is a big difference like you guys have said between "can we do it this way, what do you think?" and taking an argumentative stance.
Doctors don't like patients who come in loaded to the gills with WebMD info, and think they know more than the guy who went to med school and has been practicing 30 years ago. They want their patients to trust in them and heed their advice, and not be stubborn in their own ways...
I have never understood the statement "This is the way I have been doing it for XXX years and..."
So we never want to improve? No new knowledge has been gained in construction in the last 5, 10, 20 years? We have learned from Hurricane Andrew, Loma Prieta, and tons of research and experience...
Does the contractor still use a hammer and hand saw and mix concrete on site by hand? We still using horses? Its completely illogical. Our field is an ever-improving and ever-changing science, and those at the forefront understand that. Its a lot harder to convince your local good ole boy contractor type of this mindset though...