>> make sure I'm using a grounded 3-wire connection between load and the portable generator?<<
Yes, but that's not enough.
My 1.6kW/115/60 generator on rubber pads has a ground terminal on the frame, and came with manual verbiage and a bunch of yellow stickers, all stating unequivocally that the frame should be wired to a metal ground stake or a water pipe in the ground before even starting the engine. I store a roll of ~#10 ga wire with the generator for just that purpose.
That is the only system ground when the loads are connected by extension cords.
Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA