"Utility companies" like the one I work for would be very irresponsible and in violation of numerous policies and agreements if they did not insist on connected generators having the appropriate permissions, relaying schemes, and so on in place and current at all times; there are many factors that must be taken into consideration during the planning stages of such projects, and on the face of it it seems this was not done in you case.
That being said...
My utility has its own back-up generators in various locations, and when their installations were being planned it came to my attention that the switching schemes would be as Bill described, with ATSs, break-before-make connections, etc., etc., including permanently installed ghost load banks [in our case, huge toasters that would never see a slice of bread in their lifetime].
I decried the deliberate and planned burning of Brobdingnagian quantities of non-renewable fossil fuels to produce nothing but heat and greenhouse gases, appealed to the company's own policy statements about the efforts it makes to be environmentally responsible, and suggested they investigate what it would take to provide these generators with the capability of synchronizing to the grid and going to full load, their outputs being used to displace transformer and switching station site loads and the balance if any being exported to the grid. My reasoning was that even if we were paid nothing for any power exported, the electricity would at least be used and provide at least some tangible return...
The idea was kiboshed by one upper-middle manager who stated dismissively: "We are not in the generation business." Very environmentally friendly way of thinking, indeed.
CR
"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." [Proverbs 27:17, NIV]