Oh, I forgot to mention-- You actually DO want your pile to fail before the hull of the ship in all cases, but especially for a navigation pile.
I was speaking in terms of a very low velocity berthing situation when I said to keep going to a bigger pile until you get the energy you need. (That's where my calc's have been lately.) In your case, that would also mean a reaction much larger than the ships would find pleasant.
You can increase the energy absorbing capacity by installing fendering on the pile. This will also help to reduce any damage to the vessel in case of a collison, but the pile, with or without fendering, has to be the sacrificial component of that collision.
For a case such as yours with single, vertical piles, "donut" fenders might work well.
Trelleborg supplies fenders, but they also give good guidance on ships and berthing energies.
Jim