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How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?
5

How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

(OP)
Dear Professionals,

The below two sentences are for qualifying our quotation for a project.

  • Please be noted that, design drawing # DRG-01 shows X capacity of equipment which is inadequate for the project requirement. Therefore, we propose Y capacity in our offer.
  • Please be noted that, Design drawing # DRG-01 Table-1 shows incorrect equipment details. Therefore, we propose suitable capacity as per project requirement (we don’t want to say proposed capacity now, will propose after detail engineering)

Can anyone suggest me how to rephrase the sentences in a positive way rather than highlighting the mistake from their side?

Appreciate all your suggestions and inputs. Thanks in advance.

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

Firstly, it should be "Please note" Secondly, since you are obviously not in an English language country, why are you asking for an English answer?

> Please note that our analysis of # DRG-01 indicates that Y capacity is required for project success and is what we are offering in our proposal

TTFN (ta ta for now)
I can do absolutely anything. I'm an expert! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg
FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies forum1529: Translation Assistance for Engineers Entire Forum list http://www.eng-tips.com/forumlist.cfm

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

Start with the more positive. Tell the client what they need and then why it is more advisable than their current choice.

e.g. "We believe you need equipment Y for these reasons..."

I really do appreciate the respect and deference that other cultures convey in their communications. But Westerners are more direct. Don't be afraid to just tell it like it is. Clarity and brevity are the soul of courtesy to many American engineers.

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

I don't like "believe" ... it implies (to me) an absence of proof.

I like short sentences ...
The capacity of DRG-01 (X lbs) is less than the project requirements. (why the heck are you is this particular swamp o'shit ?)
This situation to be discussed at the next review.
Capacity should be changed to Y in order to meet the project requirements. (you could have a proposal sketch drafted to show how to do this)

another day in paradise, or is paradise one day closer ?

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

Quote (Irstuff)

Firstly, it should be "Please note" Secondly, since you are obviously not in an English language country, why are you asking for an English answer?

It looks to me, from his sentence "Can anyone suggest me how to rephrase the sentences in a positive way rather than highlighting the mistake from their side?
" That he needs to correct an English sentence that was sent to him.

Why does asking stupid questions always seem to be an answer?

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

Am I the only one that would ask the other party what they really want before responding formally, pointing out the discrepancies and seek clarification, then formulating an answer which satisfies their preference.

Rather than guessing what they want or not giving them something they wanted. Actually ask before responding.

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

no, I'm there too. There must have been a magical walk in the garden to get you to a finished (or almost finished) design that doesn't meet the project requirements and yet you can't say that clearly ?

Since (presumably) the customer was involved to getting the design to where it is today (ie deficient to requirements) I think it's reasonable to ask ... should we present the deign we have (although it is deficient but possibly acceptable) or should we go back to the drawing table (screen) ?

If this is the result of an internal review, then it's an internal question ... do we proceed with the presentation of a deficient and possibly unacceptable design, or bite the bullet and re-design now ?

another day in paradise, or is paradise one day closer ?

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

(OP)

Quote (IRstuff)

It sounded to me that the OP was asking about wording for a proposal, based on looking at requirements from a customer furnished document/drawing.

To make it exact: A note to consultant from contractor (for submission of quotation/for design submission etc.). The intention is not to feel them bad/irritated by highlighting their mistakes in documents supplied as input for our reference.

Notes with positive vibes :)

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

Has there been a phone call to discuss this?

Maybe they made a mistake. Maybe you don't have the whole story. Find out which.

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

2
In some procurements, questions asked are publicly published as are their answers. Sometimes, if you think your solution might be a winner, you don't want to let your competitors know how you're going to bid, so you don't ask the questions.

Likewise, sometimes it's better to let the customer know only through your proposal that you caught and corrected their mistake. We once won a contract because of something similar to what the OP found; we pointed out what the correct solution was in our proposal and after we won, the customer specifically mentioned our thoroughness in catching the issue and providing the the properly compliant solution as a factor in their decision to award us the contract.

Also, it's disadvantageous to educate your competitors and make them more competitive with you.

TTFN (ta ta for now)
I can do absolutely anything. I'm an expert! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg
FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies forum1529: Translation Assistance for Engineers Entire Forum list http://www.eng-tips.com/forumlist.cfm

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

(OP)

Quote (BrianPetersen)

Has there been a phone call to discuss this?
In my case, documented evidence is important.

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

(OP)

Quote (IRstuff)

In some procurements, questions asked are publicly published as are their answers. Sometimes, if you think your solution might be a winner, you don't want to let your competitors know how you're going to bid, so you don't ask the questions.

In this case, after summarizing queries / bid clarification from bidders, client will not allow any further qualification notes.

Quote (IRstuff)

Likewise, sometimes it's better to let the customer know only through your proposal that you caught and corrected their mistake. We once won a contract because of something similar to what the OP found; we pointed out what the correct solution was in our proposal and after we won, the customer specifically mentioned our thoroughness in catching the issue and providing the the properly compliant solution as a factor in their decision to award us the contract.

This will help sometimes.

Quote (IRstuff)

Please note that our analysis of # DRG-01 indicates that Y capacity is required for project success and is what we are offering in our proposal

I am considering the above. Could you please help me further with my bullet point #2? rephrase with a positive tone?

RE: How to rephrase qualifying sentences in better way?

Please note that our analysis of # DRG-01 Table-1 shows different equipment details are required and we will propose a suitable solution after detail engineering

TTFN (ta ta for now)
I can do absolutely anything. I'm an expert! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg
FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies forum1529: Translation Assistance for Engineers Entire Forum list http://www.eng-tips.com/forumlist.cfm

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