Space213: Fill me in on some details.
Space213 said:
The manager lectured me today that its not about the work you do even if its great and you work hard but its about how you can bullshit your appearance.
Who was the manager wanting you to BS? I only see 5 possibilities. BS a customer, him , coworkers, a higher-up boss or some combination. The only one I agree that there is a business need to "somewhat" BS is a customer. I have been reading this post since it started but never see enough information to give any advice (good or bad). Please relay a detailed account of what happened that prompted this statement from your manager.
You are asking for some serious job-changing advice, but I am really cloudy about what actually occurs in these situations you post.
The following are examples of specifics that would change many participants' advice.
[ul]
[li]In a meeting with a Client, your facial expression indicated you did not agree with something. Even if you were 100% right, you should have masked this judgement but did not. I may say "you should have BSed the client" or I may have said "You need to learn to not give out facial and body queues in meetings." In the first one, I the manager poorly worded my response, in the second one you poorly worded my response back to the eng-tips while I was in fact giving you VERY good advice.[/li]
[li]The accuracy of any account you relay here. Are you being fair in your depictions? For example, the bullet above. If I told you "In my opinion it is imperative to control emotions and not give off "vibes" in a meeting." But you relay that "as usual my boss spouted his opinion that he thinks is never wrong", that would not be a fair depiction to us although it may be true. Incidentally, all my opinions are never wrong, they are opinions. Make sure you know the difference between facts, conclusions and opinions.[/li]
[/ul]
Assuming
all your comments are well-worded, I see no upside to staying. Because of the culture you indicate exists, the end product of your career will be poor.
[li]Outcome #1- you learn to "play the game" in which you ultimately become "one of them" and the next new hire views you the same as you view them now.[/li]
[li]Outcome #2-You stay frustrated constantly at work that will 100% guaranteed drastically affect all other aspects of your life. Find a good divorce lawyer, ulcer specialist and shrink now.[/li]
[li]Outcome #3-You manage to fake enough to survive but since you are not fairly respected in ability, you get less exposure to any challenges, creativity or skill boosting projects. In the end, you are at best a mediocre employee with pay to match.[/li]
If you think you will actually leave, prepare now. Don't buy that new car, take on unneeded debt or do anything in the short term that may hinder leaving unless you have plenty in the bank. "Engineer" how you will leave and try to leave to a successful future rather than going from Jerk 1 to Jerk 2.
Final note. No matter how bad it is there, I bet there are worse places just like there are better places. Never use the thought process of "Well it can't be any worse than where I am now." If you think this, here is my advice. Stay where you are, apparently no one there will get worse with time, they will not hire any new employees that would make it worse and there is "100% potential" that it will improve.
WOW.