Ron247, I have a similar story but I was on the college track in HS, a tiny HS. My graduating class had 39 kids. We didn't have physics, calculus, etc. Our HS counselor told us to not worry about trying hard on the SAT because we couldn't compete with kids coming from the large CA, TX, IL, NY, etc. schools. They had classes we'd never see. That's why I got a technology degree first. It took me years and encouragement from a technology instructor to understand I could do engineering. I had some encouragement from HS teachers and Mother but there were other negative forces at work in my life that had too much sway. They overwhelmed the little bit of encouragement I got. My self-esteem was in the toilet and is probably still there. But, here you and I are, two PEs, with long careers. Congrats to you!
SparWeb, I understand what you write. I am not rude about my observations. I've also been told that I am nice and a natural encourager. I suppose they were telling the truth but that's up to others to decide. Early in my career I had to learn how to work with different personalities. I used some lessons learned from my childhood friends and family. Some I learned from studying people and the Bible. I pulled from whatever I could to work with others.
Running my own business has been an interesting exercise in leadership, if that's what it is called. I concluded that some people simply don't want to be led even though they need it. They're not teachable, which is a huge requirement for success. Learning on one's own is a great attribute and will carry one far but being teachable is equally important for we all have blind spots.
CWB1, I grew up in the 60's and 70's. The turmoil and tumult of those two decades were very confusing to me, as a kid in rural Louisiana. I looked for a career and ways to get out of rural Louisiana whereas most of my female peers looked to marriage. There are underlying, subtle messages that women get that make life confusing. My early exposure to Dallas, TX helped me understand there is more to life than rural Louisiana. I wanted that "more to life" life. Many human behaviors have overt aspects with underlying, subtle messages. Those underlying, subtle messages don't have to be spoken or acted upon directly. Everyone understands them. Being purely Southern, I get underlying, subtle messages. I grew up with a lot of them. I've been unlearning a lot of that stuff most of my life. It took others bluntly telling me I was crazy, in my 20's, for me to start thinking about and working on my problems. They were many, too, so I'm still working on them.
I am a patient person and can wait years to see how life develops. My ex-husband and I had a different opinion about something and it was a big difference. He said some words that I called him on. He immediately recanted and said I was wrong, misunderstood, didn't get it, jumped to conclusions, etc. It took three years for the tables to turn to enable me to utter the same words, with the same delivery. He immediately had the reaction I had three years prior. I didn't mean those words but used them to really get to the meat of his intent years earlier. That led to greater understanding for both of us. I see life as very complex, with incoming messages that all need to be interpreted. Some are in alignment, some are not. It's up to each of us to determine what's up and what's real.
In talking with young women and other minorities today, not much has changed.
Pamela K. Quillin, P.E.
Quillin Engineering, LLC
NSPE-CO, Central Chapter
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