beej67 and CWB1, your responses have impressed me and that's a difficult thing to achieve. In fact beej67, I didn't know you were joking.
I've had men call me stud muffin and in the contexts in which it was uttered, it was quite humorous and we all enjoyed good laughs. I've worked with some truly outstanding men. I've also worked with some truly troubled men and management was not up to the task of handling them and the situations they created. That's troublesome in itself.
CWB1, I never served in the military but I've struggled in Corporate America because I'm too direct. I grew up in a family that worked very hard from sunup to sundown, i.e., farmers, who also had day jobs. They lacked the time to be indirect so they were direct. When there's work to be done, it's to be done and without complaints, feet dragging, shirking of responsibility, accusations, lying, etc.
Grandma said a few times, "If you don't work, you don't eat." I had not spent much time around her and didn't know if she was kidding or not; however, I decided to not test her. That made an impression on my 6 yo brain. I don't think that lesson translates to Corporate America, sadly. Once I was in the fields working with everyone else, I learned no complaints, feet dragging, etc.
There is a hierarchy and some will let you know they outrank you, which is fine and they should. They have the authority and responsibility to make decisions that go with their job title and position in the org chart. I've known engineers that disrespected that concept and were promptly shown the door. I've been criticized for being "brutally honest" but those accusing me of that neglected to notice that I dispassionately and respectfully laid out the facts. I didn't call anyone names, accuse anyone of malfeasance or neglect, etc. I did tell them facts they didn't want to hear. Why? It meant they had to make some hard decisions and approach upper management about those decisions. Never pleasant prospects for people averse to the tasks and whose job it was to ensure those problems didn't arise.
Being direct is something I think more people need. Otherwise, constructive criticism can be couched in such touchy-feely (indirect) language the point is not apparent to those intended. Being direct with people doesn't mean it's done disrespectfully, maliciously, etc. I think that's where some get confused and make it very personal, in a very negative way.
I wish humanity was a better lot but we're not. There are men and women that seek opportunity to cause trouble, take needless offense, cash in, etc. That will always be, I think. But we do need good managers up to the task of really managing people. I lost respect for quite a few managers, who didn't properly address the problem people. Some managers were the problem, too. It's been a mixed bag.
I've known quite a few men that weren't up to the task of engineering. They didn't understand mathematics, programming, etc. Instead of getting hung up on women in engineering let's get hung up on those who can't do it, whether male or female.
Pamela K. Quillin, P.E.
Quillin Engineering, LLC
NSPE-CO, Central Chapter
Dinner program:
JK.
