Irstuff, I’m close and some I’ve already written off. There are only so many hours in the day. I was diagnosed with sibo and had more bad days. I can’t subject people to my crankiness on those days. But, I’m feeling much better and also working diligently to catch up. Now that I feel better I can see how very ill I was.
Greenone, I’m not too impressed with any personality profiling because moods shift so much and so many variables influence mood in all of us.
Thank you for helping to make things a bit easier for the next woman. We all have that responsibility to the younger people.
I never got upset about how I was addressed. What bothered me was the treatment because it was over the top. I don’t think most men would have stood for it either. And, to have been brushed off as you were was not even common courtesy let alone professional courtesy. Integrity and leadership don't act in ways that don't acknowledge someone's humanity.
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After doing a lot of research, listening to people who have done the work of government or whatever, digging into history, digging into definitions, reading government processes, etc., I have a much different understanding of life than I did previously. Even old dogs can learn new tricks; I am proof.
I realize no one in this forum knows me, which adds to a lot of supposition. Rest assured I do not arise daily looking for offenses, ill treatment, gloom, doom, etc. That’s a terrible way to live life and there are more important aspects of life to chase and expect. I was always one to have a good time.
I take each person as they present themselves to me. I work diligently to not let others’ negative biases influence my own experiences with the objects of their ire. I do that personally as well as professionally. I’ve told more than one person that I don’t care to hear the negative because I want to form my own opinions. I’ve told more than one person that I don’t see the negative traits in others that they see.
Some acquaintances and friends have called me snowflake implying weakness. I assure you I am far from weak. I don’t expect or seek confrontation but I will certainly end one, after more than one fair warning has been given. That always surprises the people who are belligerent and start fights. Enforcement of boundaries is always a surprise to them because they’re so used to obliterating or ignoring the boundaries of others.
One white, male manager told me that I didn’t need to get paid as much as the male engineers because I was a woman. I wasn’t the bread winner supporting a wife and kids. A lot of them had working wives, as did the white, male manager that imparted his reasoning to me. So much for free market capitalism.
All of us have areas that need reflection and correction. I’ve not set myself up as the oracle of anything. Over the last several years and especially the last two years, I have come to realize that platitudes are just that, platitudes. People utter them as though they are oracles, with their full humanity on display.
Pamela K. Quillin, P.E.
Quillin Engineering, LLC
NSPE-CO, Central Chapter
Dinner program:
