Quick update after having a Friday afternoon pow-wow with the geotech, pile supplier, and conctractor:
1) I am using a "footing" on this project as it seems to be the expectation for where this project is located. That may well change as things unfold. In my home location of Alberta, I never see the footing, just the grade beam / wall. But, then, I've also never seen it with open space on one side which changes the picture a bit.
2) The 1200 plf was indeed an error. The load perpendicular to the walls will be much smaller than that and manageable either as a bare pile or an encased pile. This being the case, my concern for this connection really becomes more about gravity load stability than retained earth.
3) A 4" slab on grade is a non-starter. So is utilizing passive soil pressure. Apparently the 2" mudslab has already been value engineered away and the the footing thing will not be keyed into the supporting soil.
4) I don't think that it will be necessary but the piling contractor offered up battering piles perpendicular to the wall for dealing with those kinds of forces. That sounds kind of great for overall stability really. That said, it makes me worry a little more for tolerances etc and what I can reasonably get done within a 12"H x 22"W footing/cap. I seem to be excessively paranoid about the tolerances though. The piling contractor isn't worried at all.
5) The piling contractor has never heard of anybody in residential having to comply with that IBC, capacity design at the connection provision that haynewp tables. They're trying to figure out how to make it go away for me.
6) I enquired if it was possible to arrange a pair of battered piles, in the plane of the wall, like a chevron such that the punching forces cancel. These guys said that they've seen that done in the real world one time and it's possible. It might just require a local grade beam thickening to encase the things needing encasing.