The attached is a paper on the subject, while for a much larger unit, the cause and effect explanations would apply to any synchronous generator I would expect.
Without more information on your particular system hard to provide a good answer. While out of phase paralleling definitely a good candidate, there are some other possibilities causing mechanical damage at the engine to generator connection.
Inadvertent energization, not a common cause but has cropped up as a root cause to a couple coupling failures over the years. Depending on your system and protections this may or may not be a possibility.
Mains failure, in some areas, especially with older services and conditions such as high winds, we have seen what appeared to be damage due to Out Of Paralleling was actually due to short term interruptions of the utility service, sometimes in the span of 100mS up to several seconds. In all cases the units/systems had loss of mains protection, but due to loads and other factors, generator frequency and voltage did not move far enough away from nominal to cause a trip, and when utility returned the results in some cases were catastrophic. So is the system utility paralleled? What kind of loss of mains or out of step protections are applied?
Electrical induced problems like those mentioned above can also cause damage to the generator, so have you inspected the tail end for things like signs of the end turns moving where they come out of the stator slots? How about checking the diodes and surge suppressor? Any electrical event severe enough to cause damage at the would likely cause a problem at the rotating rectifier.
Another possibility not caused but an electrical condition can happen in some generation units, mainly those running on bio-fuels like digester or landfill gas running in parallel to the grid, we have seen severe misfire cause excessive torsional stress and cause coupling failures. In one case with a smaller unit with a disc type coupling it caused the flywheel coupling bolts to fail.
Some additional info about your system could get you some better answers,
What kind of coupling is installed?
What does the unit parallel to, grid, other units, renewable network, or???
What kind of sync controls are being used?
What kind of electrical protections are in place?
Any details on your unit, size, fuel, generator voltage, etc?
MikeL.