I just found this thread yesterday. And to my surprise I have read the entire length of it! It has been a very interesting read. I'm a woman structural engineer. When I first started working I was very surprised to not find a lot of tension due to my being a woman (a young petite one at that time also). The men in the office usually treated me the upmost respect, and more like their "granddaughter or daughter". They taught me a lot about how to be a good engineer and detailer, and they remain my friends to this day. At the second office I worked at (for the same company) it took me 3-6months to gain the respect of all of my co-workers. They had worked with a female engineer who I found out later was their least favorite person. In time I won them over, and they came to respect me as the qualified engineer that I am. The field men were a different situation sometimes. I had to prove myself to them, and that occurs still becuase with each new project comes a new set of GC's to work with (some nicer than others).
Even so I do find myself wondering how others see me as a female engineer. I think women tend to focus more on how they are perceived by others. It's a built in thing. Women are generally speaking more "relational", which is why we also hold the valued role of being "mom". It can also make us great managers becuase we are more likely to consider the feelings and personalities of employees and co-workers. This same trait can also hold us back. Many of us won't ask for raises or toot our own horn becuase we are concerned about how we will be perceived. This is something I have struggled with. It took my last job change to really prove to me that I have real value in the workplace; reading my own resume also helped me to understand my worth.
I imagine that this is something gabbot also struggles with. I'd like to encourage you to keep a "brag folder". I keep a folder with all of my accomplishments and any written praises recieved (you could even write down spoken ones). Whenever I doubt myself I go back to that folder. My past employers were also big on self evaluation. We'd review ourselves and then meet with the boss who also completed the evaluation using the same sheet after we turned ours in. This was the hardest thing to do the first time, but it really helps you to be honest about your strengths and weaknesses. I'd also list at least three goals to work on on the self evaluation sheet.
I'd like to thank all you men who are supportive of women in the workplace. I agree most with debodine (specifically his June 6 9:57 post), which some women may find hard to do. The women's lib. movement did achieve a lot for women, but I also think they took things too far. My generation of women have a LOT to live up to. We're expected to do it all. Be a mom, a wife and a work full time, giving all three areas 100%. I never really understood it until I had my son. He's now 6months old. I'm still working, and the larger wage earner in my home, which makes it much more diffcult to go to a one income family. If it were a perfect world I would work part-time doing engineering, which I LOVE by the way. Financially it would not be a problem, but unfortunately, it is not common in my industry, and not looked highly upon either. Once you have childern women are viewed differently and this is not always the case if you are a man.
I think what I'd most like men to know is that women in engineering are here because we enjoy the work, and take pride in our work (for the most part...I know there are those women out there giving us a bad name). What's the difference if we are doing it part-time so long as we still do the job well and on time?
I wish it were more acceptable in society, for men and women, to have a better life work balance. That said I do not feel it the the goverments responsiblity to make it the law, but rather the companies to step up to the plate becuase happy employees are hard working dedicated employees.
In the meantime, I really consider myself blessed. My parents and in-laws keep my son during the day and they are both close enough to my job that I see him everyday at lunch. I also don't have an OT, and I am with a family friendly office. I'm still hoping a part-time opportunity will open up for me though, at least while my son is young.
That's more than 2cents, but you could have stopped reading if it was too long. ;-)
I like to think that my being a capable woman was one of the reasons my hubby married me.
