It was smug, but am I the only one who's worked in an office where half the so-called professional employees:
1. think studying at home to learn a new skill is too much of an intrusion on personal/family time? Then whenever a difficult technical problem comes up, go find the one who actually studies and ask him?
2. cried uncle for the supervisor to bail them out if that project became a bit too much rather than stepping up, working more and getting it done?
3. never brought a new skill, technology, or tool into the office because the time spent on development might force them to work until 5:01?
4. then seemed confused because other employees became owners and worked on higher-profile projects sooner?
Yep. It was smug. That hallmark card stuff gets all over my nerves. Life's equation can't be boiled down to such simple terms. The assumption seems to be that all families that are driven to accomplish more than usual will look back with regret upon the lost time. Give me a break. That's just as smug. Some people work like mad and spend every last other waking second with their immediate family. Some people work 40 hours, spend a double-digit number of hours golfing, fishing, exercising, and then spend whatever's left on family time.
14159, long hours does not mean hard work. And genuine feelings does not mean Hallmark card stuff. (although I must admit that the sweeping deadbed statement is a bit easy). There needs to be a good balance between the two. "Work like mad" is just not OK, you'll find out sooner or later.
Having an interesting job forms a large part of quality of life. Spending eight hours a day miserable so you can spend half an hour extra at home in the evenings isn't much of a trade off.
There's also the chance that sacrificing a great opportunity for someone can leave you bitter and resentful.
There is also a trade off between quality of life now and quality of life in the future. It might be worth doing a long commute and putting up with seven kinds of crap now, because it means that in two years you can start your own business and work from home.
Money, The Job and Family aren't either/or decisions.
Thery're a very complicated balancing act that's difficult to get right.
Is it easy? I think not. Just like looking both ways before you cross the street. Too often, people get wrapped up in the so-called climb to success for a better future and ignore the present.
So, here's another cliche: "Your children will NEVER be 3-years old again." Do what you will with that.
Quality of life all depends on the individual. If that person is defined by his/her work then that is where he should devote the majority of his time, but if that person feels defined by his family and the legacy at home, their time will be devoted more to them. It all depends on what you consider important in life. Work or family, and if you do not have family, you are generally the one spouting off that the people that have families do not spend enough time at work.
Granted sometimes hours do reflect hard work, but hard work does not always equal efficiency. I know as a young EIT there are engineers that can do a design in 15 minutes that takes me an hour. Am I working harder, you bet, but am I more efficient, no. I am working to grasp concepts and constructible solutions instead of textbook solutions.
I think C.Montgomery Burns (old bald dude in The Simpsons) said it best,
" Friends, family, religion, these are the three demons you must eliminate to be successful."
My own personal reflection on this;
1) Friends, need em, need plenty of friends and/or contacts to get ahead in life. However the restraint required not to smack them can be enormous sometimes.
2) Family, need em, who else will put up with your nonsense when you complain, and who else will you train to take over the world, or at least start a whole mess of problems. However they also sap your energy, but the investment is worth it for world domination.
3) Religion, that can go, I don't like to rely on inanimate things to help me out, and I have a clear conscience, well very little conscience anyway.
Very accurate!
Whenever this married guy wants some self time, it's either after midnight (the PS2) or before runrise (a ride on the mountainbike), makes only 6 hours sleep or less. Can't seem to change 8 hours work or 8 hours family time.
Proper balance and quality of life may mean something very different to me than it means to you. I like the quote from Lee Roy Parnell's song entitled I had To Let It Go,
Life is just a puzzle inside a mystery. And your idea of heaven might look like hell to me.
PS2 - the joy of spending hours doing the most useless thing in the world. You don't even realise how useless it is until you forget to save your game before you finally switch the thing off.
Reminds me of several years ago. My wife's relatives in NYC wanted me to move back and take a job there. I told them I could not afford the move, etc. My stupid sister in law said I could get a second job to bridge the gap.(???)
The biggest slap in the face was the two offers I got that were comparable to what I was making in the Chicago area. What were they thinking?
You echo an enormous problem with New York City. Housing prices - for anything (decent or not) - are out of this world. the alternative is a long commute, upwards of two hours or more each way. It must be assumed, on the part of the firms that employ engineers, that this is a problem you can deal with. The Wall Street folks, apparently, make an astonishing amount of money in salary (assuming that they pay monthly rent/mortgage, in addition to the maintence of that expansive professional wardrobe, and the associated $15 martinis) and thus can afford to live decently without the abusive commute.
The engineering firms don't pay journeymen anywhere near $200k a year, so we live in our little shoebox apartments and wonder, constantly, what we're doing wrong.
Of course, I could get a side job or two, what the heck?
My decision to stay put was largely due to the expense of moving, both the move itself and the hardship that such a move would impose on my life (not just lifestyle) in general.
