Your question is fairly broad. There are lot of ways to skin the cat... and you can take this whichever direction you want, so please keep that in mind when reading my response. My advice below also assumes you are working in the US.
The first question is... where do you think you want to end up, when this is all said and done? Take a look at the document located here (ASCE's Engineering Grades):
This will give you an idea of the education, experience, certifications, etc. generally required at each level in an engineering career.
It wasn't readily apparent from your post, but I am assuming you are already in possession of an engineering degree from a university that will allow you to be eligible to sit for the engineering licensure exam, once you have acquired the requisite experience... correct? If not, (obviously) get this degree first (BSCE).
One of your next goals should be to obtain your engineering license, regardless of who you're working for, and whether or not you are required to have an engineering license to do your job. This license is crucial to freedom and flexibility in your career. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Can you do it without this? Maybe... but it will be a lot harder now than it was 30 years ago.
Once you have obtained an engineering license, I would recommend establishing a Record with NCEES (
You may not think you need it now, but the fee to establish/maintain it is small, and it dramatically increases your opportunities for mobility. You may not fully recognize how potentially limited the market is where you are until you go someplace else.
At some point relatively early in your career, I would recommend obtaining a MSCE degree. Yeah... I know... this also wasn't really necessary 25 or 30 years ago, and some of the older engineers probably think it's a waste of time. Well, from someone who sits squarely between the older and younger engineers, I can tell you that it makes a difference to have this. My suggestion would be to continue to work full time and to obtain the degree in an online fashion, say one class at a time. Doing this, you can probably obtain it in less than four years. There are many good universities (not the ones that advertise on TV) that will award the degree without setting foot on campus, or with only minimal time on campus. If you're lucky, you'll find an employer that will cover most, if not the entire, bill for your efforts. Who knows? You also might broaden your horizons and learn something new in the process of obtaining the degree.
Overall, I think you're worrying too much about how to get where you're going... what software you will/will not learn, etc. How certain are you, at this stage, that steel is absolutely where you want/need to be? Would not having expertise/experience in concrete, masonry, timber, foundations, etc. make you more valuable? What about writing/communication skills (which are also a crucial characteristic of any well-rounded engineer)? Are they lacking in any area? Is there anything you can do to improve them? Also, what are you doing (or have you done) to differentiate yourself from your peers, or from other job seekers (i.e., SE licensure, specialty certifications, etc.)?
I've outlined what I believe are some of the most important steps in an engineering career. Be somewhat flexible in your journey. You might find that you end up in a substantially different place than you otherwise would have... and it might be a good thing.