It all depends on how the backfill is placed. What do you spec for backfill placement? Do they just dump it in? Are you specing a degree of compaction? Where do they compact with respect to the wall. If you build the fill up in compacted layers, say specing 90 percent of Modified Proctor, and the compactors run next to the wall, you may get pressures even well above those that the "higher" guy gives you.
I had the opportunity once to measure wall pressures on a wall 40 feet tall at least, backfilled with bank run sand. The wall was part of a building with no opportunity to deflect under load. We asked the designer to use an equivalent fluid of 35 p/cf. As compactors worked on this sand, in layers, the pressure sensors showed pressures going up much higher than this 35.
I also noted that when a heavy duty hand guided plate compactor was working next to the wall, the sensor some 12 feet lower showed a slight increase with each pass of that compactor.
So, what should we do?
It was obious the compaction effect was causing a wedging of that soil next to the wall.
First we changed the compaction location to outside an 18 inch limit, then going to 24 inches as the closest compaction work. Then,the design pressure came out on subsequent wall backfills. Keep the compactors away from the wall face by a distance sufficient to allow some looser zones next to the wall.
No problem with settlement, since that vertical uncompacted zone acts as a cushion and soil hangs up on both the wall and the compacted earth, the "silo effect".
Maybe your "high numbered guy" did some measuring as I did and the backfill was compacted right next to walls and that is his reasoning. Remember, to achieve active pressure, that wall has to move or the soil has to compress some.
The final result depends on YOUR SPECIFICATION.
Many a wall has deflected excessively due to heavy backfill compaction.