CWB1, I never would have thought to consider the human being in its entirety. Now that my sarcasm is exhausted...
I have walked a long way with a lot of very difficult people. I have given people many opportunities and a lot of assistance much to my detriment. After decades of walking with people whose actions and words are consistently misaligned, I see the folly of it. I am not talking normal people but people with serious, consistently practiced character flaws.
I do not attribute the cruddy behavior of one man or woman onto the rest of the gender. Nor do I put people into little boxes of what I think they should be. That's juvenile. It's also unrealistic across the spectrum of life. I've worked in large corporations most of my career and have not had the luxury of working with people that were supposed to be a "certain" way according to "my" rules. That's not fair to them. It's also not fair to me, which is my main concern.
A couple of years ago I read some of the global humanitarian documents and learned that even POWs are not to be intimidated because that prevents the full expression of their personalities. That's the way I've tried to conduct myself. I know what stifling is and I don't like it. So, I've taken behaviors I've not wanted in stride. Most men have been well behaved. Others not so much but when you tell them to stop, they stop. Others have no problem ignoring boundaries set by others and no compunction about what they do so they ignore all requests to stop. The habitual offenders, over months and years, are the ones I take exception to and believe most women are the same. The ones I've talked with personally are like me. The habitual offenders all should take exception to. If they'll habitually do it to me, they habitually do it to a man to get what they want.
My dad was in the mob. You cannot teach me much about men that I didn't learn as a child. And, I loved my dad very much.
nonplussed, it may not take much for some women to avoid STEM but that's not true of some of us. Not forgetting who the majority is might be helpful. I'm in a chapter of NSPE and we had a local Dean in yesterday. Remembering who the majority is in engineering was one of his points in discussing the university, its student body makeup, and the makeup of engineering as a whole. There are challenges to overcome. If we cannot overcome them, we, the US, lose.
My HS math teacher was a male and very encouraging to me and others to pursue STEM. He considered raw ability only.
I see your anger over the study. Why such anger and why do you feel it was "shoved" down your throat?
One of my designers told me 20+ years ago that he had always blamed females for male "unwanted" advances, unwed mothers, etc. until he witnessed an event. He went to a HS sporting event. There he witnessed a HS boy put an extreme amount of pressure on a HS girl for sex. He badgered her in spite of her protests. He followed her around to badger her. When she would emerge from the water closet, he was there to badger her. He badgered her until she gave in; he wore her resolve down.
My designer never treated women that way thus didn't think any other man did either. His male relatives and friends didn't. He had no reason to think outside of his own experiences until that night, that game. Then, he got it.
That was his experience. Those are a man's words about his experience and his growth.
I don't see the world in simplistic terms because that does not reflect my experience.
Pamela K. Quillin, P.E.
Quillin Engineering, LLC
NSPE-CO, Central Chapter
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