Fitting in at work - any suggestions for the newbie? 15

[timbochung]

I've started a new job and not sure if I'm quite fitting in. Although it's only been about two weeks - I'm wondering if I'm getting a rep of a geeky keener. Kinda like Martin from the Simpsons.

Anyways, I'm not sure what to do. I really enjoy what I do (mechanical design) and I do it well.

Should I just get over it and move on? Anyone with similar stories?

 

[timbochung]

Thanks again for all the feedback. I've since adjusted my behavior somewhat and have devoted more energy to developing relationships. Probably the best thing I can share from my experience is to remember to smile, ask and listen. Thanks to Ashereng for reminding me that I have a choice in how I want to work. Things are already improving.

As for the diva comment - no diva here, been there before so I know what I'm talking about. When it comes to design, I care about what I do and I put in the effort to make sure it works out for everybody.

I agree that 2-3 weeks isn't very long but I've done this type of work for sometime and I have pretty good bead on what is expected. Every company has its quirks but the work itself is pretty much the same.

 

[Ashereng]

You're welcome.

 

[RDK]

Get some of the popular press books on how to make small talk.

Follow their advice and make appropriate small talk at coffee and other appropriate times, keep it to work at other times.

Get at least a passing amount of information on sports, especially the chances/performance of the local pro teams because that’s always good fodder for small talk.

Remember that small talk helps people relate to you as a person and this is what makes work relationships not only functional but enjoyable.





Rick Kitson MBA P.Eng

Construction Project Management
From conception to completion

http://www.kitsonengineering.com

 

[BJC]

Keep quite and let people think your dumb. When they discover your a genius they will believe it and accept you.
If you tell them how brilliant you are they may come to belive it but may never accept you.
There is a world of addages and sayings that cover the situation. From Letterman, to stuff you read on Starbucks cups, to Will Rogers all the way back to Aseop. I call it bumper sticker philsophy, even though it predates cars. It's old stuff buy very true. One that comes to mind is "Keep quite and people will think your a fool, open your mouth and you remove all doubt"
I think thats a Will Rodgers quote I found recently in a fortune cookie.

 

[DaveVikingPE]

Wisdom form MikeHalloran:
"On the other hand, you also have "New Guy Mojo". If you know what you are doing, and can demonstrate it (as opposed to talking about it), you can make things happen."

I have observed the new guy with the "new guy mojo" - but who really didn't walk the walk. Don't be that person.

 

[macmet]

I agree with BJC.

Nobody likes anyone who assumes that they're the best person in the world. You are no better than anyone else, that goes from the secretary on up. If you treat them like you are, then you will never fit in.

And don't talk about yourself, and your great designs. That should never come up in conversation. I'm not even sure why it showed up here.

They should see that through your work eventually.

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

BJC,

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid, than to open it and remove all doubt.

Helpful SW websites FAQ559-520
How to get answers to your SW questions FAQ559-1091

 

[heieup]

One bit of advice... don't try too hard, we have a new guy in our office at the moment and he is driving us all nuts because he's trying too hard.

Wants to come in and chat to us all the time, especially first thing in the morning which I can't handle, wants to check everything past me (his boss) before he does it (I have told him just to get on with it) clarifies everything.

Generally trying too hard, it would be better if he just chipped in when asked and tried to behave like the rest of us.

 

[HCBFlash]

Wow! I'm reading closely!

I'm a "bar raiser" and find myself being as "arrogant" as you. Note that I put the term in quotes. Truth is, a substantial number of people in any workplace (and your boss may well be in that category) always feel threatened by a new co-worker. I'm sure you well know you'll need to keep an eye looking over your shoulder as well as on the horizon.

You may very well actually surpass many of them in your technical skills, but what you really need to do is surpass them in your people skills. ....something I wish I could do.

Please let us all know how this works out for you! and don't forget faq731-376

 

[timbochung]

Thanks for the support HCBFlash - it's nice to know that there are others in the same boat.

Anyways, as an update to those who have been following along:

The new guy mojo has run its course. Things have settled out and this is what different:

I'm now a familiar person and not so scary to the others. My technical skills are still there but I think people have accepted it and are now used to it (kinda like the price of gas).

Anyways, I find the going slow on the social front which I think is normal. If I were to start over again - I'm not sure how I would do things again. Would I go half pace so I don't appear to threatning? I don't know. I came in and worked hard right off the bat. To do so otherwise is seems a bit sneaky/shady. However, if the attitude is to enable others to adjust - maybe it is the better way.

 

[Ashereng]

Well, it looks like it is working out. Your co-workers seem to have given you the benefit of their doubt. You are lucky.


What you do, and how you do it are 2 very different things.

I teach my children to work hard, to improve, to become better. I also teach them not to brag. Having success is good. Saying "This is so easy." is bragging.



"Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater." Albert Einstein
Have you read FAQ731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?

 

[Qshake]

Something that I pass along to new graduates that I haven't seen mentioned here specifically is:

Understand the problem at hand thoroughly before speaking and never, never agree with the last opinion offered unless it is, in fact, the best choice because in the end people will remember that during any previuos discussions your opinion was only based on the last one offered and that is hardly anything to be valued for.

Regards,
Qshake

Eng-Tips Forums:Real Solutions for Real Problems Really Quick.

 

[TurbulentFluid]

Oh yes. I know you. I work with 2 of you - well, used to. You come in with the above described attitute - "I always raise the bar, and nobody likes me because of that". Does it ever occur to you that not everyone else is a slacker, and that many people actually likes having the bar raised? Eh, yes, but not in the way they're made to feel inferior by the "geeky keener" who looks down at everybody. Specially people that have been there for a substantially longer period of time. If you come to an older engineer respectfully, they'll teach you a whole lot. If you come with YOUR attitute, they'll revel in the mistakes the new guy makes, and sometimes even help you MAKE those mistakes! And heavens forbid let such a person into the Production area, he might find his foot welded to the floor! (Happened in my firm, too!). Such people often end up isolated, which I guess you've noticed by now - how suddenly there's no one at your lunch table? And the boss gets puzzled too - "I brought this guy who knows so much yet everyone's consulting manuals rather than asking him a simple question he could easily answer!". Such people are brilliant, but of little use to themselves or the firm, which is a great pity.

Fitting into the social structure of the firm is VERY important for engineers, as we're supposed to work as a team and fill in for each other. Some practical advice: never be the 5th monkey, but when in a new enviroment, first look into how things are done there and only THEN, and IF you're sure you have a better idea, try and change it. If you look at people from a slightly less godly standpoint, you might actually see not everyone's an idiot and even learn something new and good. Also, if you ned for people, people will bend for you.
Never talk work during break. That's why it's called a "break": it's when you DON'T work. Talk about unimportant things, and keep them such. If you find a fellow Rolling Stones fan, don't murder the guy by sharing the info on how often Mick Jagger clips his toenails. Let people talk about themselves and their interests, and keep your info inflow low: that'll keep people interested, and give them time to get to know you.
Always take advice seriously. When offered advice from an older colleague, don't reply with "yes, but...".
NEVER come ask for advice on a thing you know how to do, only so you could say "yes, but.." and show off your knowledge. Aside of devaluing people, you're wasting their time.
Last but not least: when in a new enviroment, nobody KNOWS you. They don't know you were a social outcast in your last firm. They don't know you were considered a "geeky keener". They don't know you. You HAVE no reputation. Just don't GIVE yourself one.

Sorry to be sharp and long, in essence I hope I helped a bit.

 

[macmet]

TurbFluid's is perfect

And...

"My technical skills are still there but I think people have accepted it and are now used to it (kinda like the price of gas)."

I love that...ha

 

[ziggi]

It's normal to want to prove yourself to your new employer and co-workers, and it's also common to stick out like a sore thumb, but you will adjust to the social structure (hopefully) and get into the groove. I'm not saying that conformance is great, but it does make things easier.
Ie. there will be less resistance to your attempts to "raise the bar" if you're seen as 'one of the guys' than if you're seen as an outsider.

If you're a naturally quiet guy and the place is full of loud happy people, it doesn't hurt to see the world from a different perspective either.

Also remember that you spend more time with your co-workers than you do with your family, so getting along is paramount. A quick way to get into the cliques is to buy into the office betting pool (if one is available), then read up a bit on the teams and join into some of the discussions that arise on the topic.

I learn't the hard way, that all the crap they teach you in school gives you the tools to solve a problem but that your social skills ALLOW you to solve a problem.

 

[timbochung]

Turbfluid: Thanks for the advice - although a bit on the seething side, blunt honesty is efficient at sending the message. More importantly however, is that it is well intended and again, I do appreciate the advice.

Reflecting again on my present work situation - I know that when I first started, I came aggressively. Unfamiliar territory, no history, I felt a bit insecure and hence, hammered out some space. Although I still feel I did it legitimately (skill and hard work), I was maybe a bit - blunt - in my methods.

Looking back at my dumb self - I should have been more relaxed and confident in myself. Shouldn't have to prove anything to anybody - things will eventually come to light.

Oh well, live and learn. Things are fine now at work, but in the true spirit of constant improvement:
1. I should probably smile more :-D
2. I should remind myself that I'm not the only one who is trying to make a living
3. I should not take for granted peoples personalities and enjoy them for who they are (wise words from ziggy )

Anyways, thanks again for the feedback