Does being nice impede your career? 3

[KENAT]

Don't know that it's news as such but this caught my eye:

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom...33a8e6ac6f4a421de50-238691891-RI-4&ns_siteid=

I never considered myself overly nice but since I'm guilty of some of the listed traits apparantly I am!

How about you?

Or maybe where do you draw the line between being a team player/proffesional etc and being a door mat?

KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...

 

[josephv]

Interesting article...

For me, something important I learned was how to say "no". In the past in order to help, I was to quick to say "yes, I can help". Now, I pause see if there is time for me to help, and then see what can be done.

 

[jistre]

I don't think that being nice is an impediment to your career. In fact, I think it can help greatly unless your career choice is "street thug".

However, there is a huge difference between being kind, polite, cordial, and professional and being a pushover that no one respects, no matter how well liked that pushover may be.

Pushovers allow their companies to transfer the burden of problems with staffing and planning or poor management by consistently working unpaid overtime. The way I always operate when salaried is that unpaid overtime is expected to help get a project through a rough patch. If it's used to correct systemic problems on my back, though, it will require a corresponding increase in salary. One way or another, the company will pay for my time and will not be able to push the financial burdens of its troubles onto me.

 

[SylvestreW]

hrm, I disagree with the title of the post. Nice doesn't equate to push-over (as Jistre stated).

To me, being nice means not being a jerk but being courteous. Doesn't mean I'll accept crap jobs. Since when doesn't saying NO mean you aren't nice. You can easily, politely refuse work - espeically if you know someone else is being a jerk and pawning it off.

Heck, most of the biggest jerks I know are the pushovers. They are the ones who smile to the big bosses but curse behind their back and have the bad attitudes because they are pissed they aren't getting ahead.

-

http://www.Aercoustics.com

High quality consulting services in the science and engineering of noise and vibration.

 

[KENAT]

SylvestreW I'm confused, you say you don't agree with the title of the post "Does being nice impede your career?" but it's just a question it doesn't imply that being nice = pushover.

Or did you mean the title of the article.

Personally I don't think being 'nice' means impeding your career or being a push over. Although I will admit from my personal experience that the nice, while still effective, managers are in the minority.

KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...

 

[IRstuff]

The article talks about being an enabler. The specific traits discussed all deal with accommodating someone else who is definitely being not nice.

Being nice is neither necessary nor sufficient to be an enabler.

TTFN

FAQ731-376

 

[EngineerDave]

You know I think in my own case, I've always lacked assertiveness. Even when someone is lower down the ladder than me, I wouldn't say no very often.

But being good to the co-workers I think is better than saying what I really feel towards some of them after they are rude to me. I know this would only result in them harboring grudges against me. This is particularly the case with some of the more sensitive employees who can dish it out but not take it.

One things for sure, in the case of a few women I work with, I'm glad I'm not the one married to them!

 

[GregLocock]

Dunno. I'll have to try it some time. Cheers Grumpy Greg

 

[TheTick]

There are some things I just won't do to another human being, regardless of whether it is accepted business practice. This has impeded my career and at times interrupted my employment.

 

[SylvestreW]

Kenat, one day we'll understand each other
But u'r correct, I meant to refer to the title of the article.

-

http://www.Aercoustics.com

High quality consulting services in the science and engineering of noise and vibration.

 

[ctopher]

It's just like being at school on the playground. The quiet, non-aggressive kid, gets picked on and is left out.
Be objective, have a good argument, and don't be afraid to say NO ... then you will get somewhere on the job.

Chris
SolidWorks 07 4.0/PDMWorks 07
AutoCAD 06
ctopher's home (updated 04-21-07)

 

[Panjaabi]

Seems like this is appropriate thread to ask this:

I am interning at a medium-to-large company. Recently my boss gave me a really good review on my performance. He told me that he is looking to setup a tour/may-be-interview with one of the engineering depts. of the company. He asked me if I am interested.

How can I politely tell him NO ... although, I can see myself working for this company, but there is one other company where I would really like to work and wants to try interviewing for that.

How can I politely say NO and ask for a little time to consider?

 

[civilperson]

Do not say no. Go on the interview and learn the names and set up. After a offer is made, then ask for time to consider.

 

[csd72]

Be nice, but also be assertive. If you are putting their needs in front of your own then that is a problem.

csd

 

[IRstuff]

My mother's response, when I told her I was only applying to the college that I wanted to go to,

"What, are you nuts? What happens if they turn you down?"

TTFN

FAQ731-376

 

[csd72]

IRstuff,

Smart woman your mother, she would have been good in risk management.

csd

 

[Heckler]

Bozionelos believes it's because they don't put their own needs first: "Agreeable people tend to self-sacrifice and compromise their own interests to make others happy."

I'm not sure putting my needs before my companies needs is in the best interest of the company between 0700-1630 hrs. I think people would be more effective is they didn't have an agenda.

Heckler
Sr. Mechanical Engineer
SWx 2007 SP 3.0 & Pro/E 2001
XP Pro SP2.0 P4 3.6 GHz, 1GB RAM
NVIDIA Quadro FX 1400
o
_`\(,_
(_)/ (_)

"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

 

[GregLocock]

Panjaabi

Don't turn the interview down, unless you are 100% sure that you don't want to work there. It sounds like you've made a good impression (not necessarily a given with interns, speaking from personal experience as both an intern and someone who occasionally works with interns), and that first job is the hardest one to get.



Cheers

Greg Locock

Please see FAQ731-376 for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.

 

[doberdorks]

Actually I'd add - "don't turn down the interview".. it's not a formal interview from the sounds of it... think of it as "networking" so you can meet a few people who may be able to help you in some way in the future (or who you can help in some way in the future).

Shannon


Original Message
GregLocock (Automotive)
26 Jul 07 20:03
Panjaabi

Don't turn the interview down, unless you are 100% sure that you don't want to work there. It sounds like you've made a good impression (not necessarily a given with interns, speaking from personal experience as both an intern and someone who occasionally works with interns), and that first job is the hardest one to get.

Cheers

Greg Locock

 

[SylvestreW]

never, ever turn down an interview (unless it's a terrible inconvenience to you). You don't know what's out there until you check it out and you may be surprised, you'll immediately know your value (i.e. how much in demand you are) and most importantly, it's a free chance to polish your interview skills.

-

http://www.Aercoustics.com

High quality consulting services in the science and engineering of noise and vibration.