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do nothing machine

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dellabs

Industrial
Nov 27, 2002
1
I am looking for a product called the "do nothing machine." This product tests the mechanical aptitude of machine mechanics. Is anyone familiar with this product and if so where can I find one?
 
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I too am looking for a reference to the "do nothing machine". Would appreciate any info for this mechanical testing machine used in manufacturing companies throughout North America.
Thanks!
 
This is it!

The Do-Nothing Machine

This Machine, which is undoubtedly the most complex assemblage of Bicuspidary discs, was designed either by Government Engineers, or a committee, which is why as you see it, it goes nowhere, and does nothing. It was originally designed as a striking mechanism for a mantle clock, but it seems to have gotten carried away, with delusions of grandeur.

The three electrically powered motive forces, are gravitationally free, non-synchronal, trapezoidal seclusion wound, and in the Delta configuration. This of course prevents total flocture in case of power failure during critical lunar phases. In the event this happens, the operator must search rapidly, and diligently to find the cause of the escaping electrons, so that there is not an excess of stray electrons massing in the immediate area, which would tend to create some inaudible sounds toward the lower brackets.

The spherical metal mass orbiting in the redundantly circular raceway, is advanced rearward, due to the three epicyclic framatoidal cams, which are timed in sequential order.

Due to the inherent possibility during startup, of exceeding the Torsional Modulus of Elasticity, from the Polar Moment of Inertia, prior to final assembly, all shafts, except those which were castellated, were Frenelized in an uncontrolled Hydrostatic atmosphere to the equivalent of maximum kilopascals on the circumareolar scale.

There are 764 gears of all types, connected to each other, either by tooth, chain, shaft or otherwise, all going round and round, for the sole purpose of viewing by people who have nothing else to do, but watch it go round and round.

Paul E. Freiling


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