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A book by Dale Carnegie

A book by Dale Carnegie

A book by Dale Carnegie

I read a book recently called "HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE" by Dale Carnegie.  This bool was written in 1936 and it is very much applicable today.  It talks about human relations and how to be able to deal with all kinds of people.  It gives exemples of situations at all levels and how people overcame those situations.  I suggest it to all professionals!

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

That's the one where he continually advocates saying "I may be wrong, I often am, but let's look at the facts". OK as long as you really mean it, but a lot of people who say it are just trying to curry favor, as he of course is cynically advising us to do. Interestingly, it's something that you very rarely hear politicians say. I wonder if it's because they think it's not forceful enough ?

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie


It has been many years since I read the book, but I can assure you that the book does not “continually advocates saying "I may be wrong, I often am, but let's look at the facts."”  

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Well, I may be wrong, I often am, and maybe "continually" was an exaggeration, but its certainly on more than one page!

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie


I may be wrong, (I often am) but your link doesn't seem to go anywhere.  All I get is a Hotmail related message.

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Much better.

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

I may be wrong, and possibly a little late, but this link is no longer associated with a book.  Let's look at the facts and perhaps you can just type out the name and author of this life changing book.


RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Worked for me, but you have to copy the entire text of link

Anyway, it points to:
Coping with Toxic Managers, Subordinates ... and Other Difficult People: Using Emotional Intelligence to Survive and Prosper
By Roy Lubit. Published by Financial Times Prentice Hall


RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Thanks I will check that last one out. I think it is very useful to review these types of resources.

I like the Dale Carnegie stuff, I'm going to have to sit down and read it all sometime.

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Joking aside, Dale Carnegie has been criticized over the years for advocating an overly timid approach. His method probably works best if you are naturally aggressive and arrogant and need to tone down your manner a bit. But it's likely to make wimpy people even more wimpy and less effectual.
And of course, winning friends and influencing people are two different things. Its often said that Adolf Hitler didn't have any  friends, except perhaps Eva Braun, but boy, could he influence people !

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

I took the Dale Carnegie Course many years ago. It was great! We basically followed the recommended book, and another, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living". There were a couple more, also.

Of course, when Dale Carnegie wrote those books, it was an entirely different world. However, many of his "lessons" can be used today. I remember that he believed in addressing the other person's needs and desires. Today, so many people are interested only in themselves (the "me generation"), this is sometimes the only way you can get them to pay attention.

Good recommendation!

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

"How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie has been recommended reading for all kinds of careers.  I once seen it in the curriculem for becoming a religous minister.

To me it seemed out of place there, but I am sure it makes the collection plates fuller.

It's obviously a classic for developing good communication skills.

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

I may be wrong; however not very often, but let's look at the facts:

EnglishMuffin are you saying that if I read the book and my communication skills improved, that I am “naturally aggressive and arrogant and need to tone down.”

If I was wimpy and read the book, my communication skills would have been minimized?

What am I if my communication skills remained the same after reading the book???

Please don’t take me too seriously; I am working on my communication skills.


RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

All I am saying is that, within the set of all the naturally aggressive and arrogant people in the world, there exists a subset of indeterminate size which might benefit from this book. They probably would not all do so, and it would appear to me that many such people get on just fine in life without reading and taking advice from any self books whatsoever. But don't take me too seriously either!

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Why should anyone take advice from someone who committed suicide?

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Could you come up with some facts?  Such as an article or a web site to support your point?  On my side, I found the following article from the New York Times which mentions nothing of suicide.  Au contraire.... http://www.nytimes.com/learning/general/onthisday/bday/...
I think that the suicide story is a myth.


RE: A book by Dale Carnegie


Even if there was a suicide it does not diminish the intelligence or the contributions a person has made to society.

Many highly intelligent and contributory folks have a hard time coping with the trends of the last 20 years. I do not recommend suicide as a means of coping --- just that some folks should show a little thought before they condemn any other person especially when they have no insight on the persons life or problems.

Open your mind and remember JUDGEMENT is NOT YOURS.

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

That definitely deserves a star!!


RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Jay165, I am little curious.

Did you read the book and find it of little practical value because you thought the author (who had been ill for some time before death) chose to end his life?

Or would you be giving an opinion about something you know nothing about (the book)?

If someone was ill for some time before his death and chose to end his life, does that mean that there could be nothing in his life that was of value?

I am an optimist today so I will assume that you must have read the book before giving your opinion about it.

Which number best fits your communication style Jay.  

1.    According to EnglishMuffin If you read the book and your communication skills improved you might be a subset of the “naturally aggressive, arrogant, and need to tone down people in the world.”
2.    According to EnglishMuffin If you read the book and your communication skills were more wimpy and less effectual, you might be a wimpy person.
3.    You were an effective communicator before and after you read the book and your communication skills remained unchanged (i.e. you know more about communication than the author).
4.    Other

Jay, which number best describes you?  If it is number 4 please let us know what communication style you use.  

Personally, I think you were a number 3, and you read the book in your youth.  


RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

I took the silly course (great idea, boss!) which requires you to read that piece of crap.  It was a huge waste of time, but at least I didn't pay for it.  I'm not surprised I'm getting flamed - the people teaching the class had all the fervor of religous freaks.  I had to stifle fits of hysterical laughter between futile attempts at staying awake.  I can still spot a Daley a mile away by the number of times they repat your name in a conversation

Personally, I think Dale and those of his ilk (Tony Roberts, et al) laughed (or are laughing) all the way to the bank and don't really believe what they preach.  I actually admire those guys for making millions off of other peoples insecurities.      

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

That's my star Jay...although I gleaned some good points of both mentioned above [I think you meant Tony Robbins] I think it is mostly over-rated and the cost of the books, seminars, etc. are not justified.

But I also think that authors of 'religious' genre should be ashamed of the costs of their materials.  But as you stated above, I too admire the brash audacity to actually do it and then go to the bank.

It reminds me of ISO2000! lol

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Thanks, Massey.  I did mean Tony Robbins.  Glad someone else out there has not become another zombie like out of a 50's horror movie.

Double what you said on ISO2000 or ISO 9000 or any ISO "Quality" consultants.

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie


Would you say because a person sells religious material they shoud take less than reasonable profit????

Must a religious person maintain a lower than average lifestyle or is their material less valuable than, say -- technical material. How much is the profit after printing, marketing, administrative cost? I don't know. Do you?

Over-rated books and seminars???? Wouldn't this depend on the person doing the rating and his personal perspectives.

The marketplace will determine if the prices are reasonable, whether the product is educational, self-improvement, automobiles, books, seminars or religious materials.

How timely --- I just this moment saw a paid commercial by the Church of Latter Day Saints  on the TV --- "FREE BIBLES"

No I'm not an especially religious person --- I'm just not sure that there are excessive prices for religious material and am curious as to what you base your statement.

---- Re-double ISO 2000, 9000 --- opinion

Hope y'all have a great new year ---


RE: A book by Dale Carnegie


Your correct that the market place will ultimately determine the costs.  If people keep getting in line then the cost are not too high.  Obviously my statement in previous post expresses my opinion from my perspective, that is why is said "I think..."

And yes I do think that religious professionals should have a lower standard of living than their 'followers'.  It is the price they pay to serve the King.  And I think that many religous authors sell books for profit.  Their goal is to make money.  They pump out regirgitated garbage time after time, and purvey themselves as having a better insight, perspective, relationship with the Almighty than those whom they wish to buy their books - hogwash from my perspective.

But again, if they keep meeting the markets needs then more power to them.

And it takes a special kind of person to drive new luxery cars when their parishiners are having a hard time to feed their families.

I used to be an ordained minister in the Evangelical Church Alliance.  I've known and know hundreds of ministers, authors, speakers personally and my perspective comes from bitter experience.  And yes I am still bitter.  

Sure there is an occasional sincere, humble, open and honest minister.  Just as there is an occasional author who sells materials at cost because his desire to serve humankind is genuine.

I personally do not think people should get rich selling the Word of God.

All of above is of course my personal points of view.

But let's not ruin this thread talking about my personal disdain for religous profiteers.


RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Beleive it or not...my wife just called me and her boss has offered to send her and a co-worker to a Tony Robbins seminar...they know nothing about this conversation...never will either. lol

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Too funny!

Speak of the devil - Hope I wasn't the cause!

The whole time I was in the DC class I just kept repeating to myself that I had a great job and a great boss (which I did, in fact - this was only thing he did in 5 years that was dumb or annoying).  

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

People whose boss’s send them on such a course should worry!! It says your boss thinks they lack the essential skills to work there and had better learn them fast!!.  Scary stuff!!
I agree that while Dale Carnegie made some good points throughout his life, he has cast a serious doubt on his integrity by committing suicide.  

I also can’t find any real evidence that he DID or DIDN’T commit suicide?

Maybe Tony Robbins, or one of those other people started a rumor to increase THEIR own sales by discrediting the godfather of self-motivation??  

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie


Actually my wife's boss has attended several Tony Robbins seminars, he and his wife just got back from one about 3 weeks ago.

The co-worker was offered the seminar or a cash bonus.

My wife is in a very public position that she is returning to after ten years.  She quit a decade ago to bear and raise our four children up to a good start.  Now that they are all in school, she has returned to the company she left.

I told her to go for it and have a great time.

Your assumption may be right many times, but I think this time you missed it just a bit.

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie


Sorry about mis-spelling your user name above, it was an accident.  Sorry.

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

Why don't we collaborate on a book entitled :
  "How to Conserve Our Energy by Not Egaging In Juvenile Pissing Contests" ?

 when arguing with a fool, be sure which one of the two you are

RE: A book by Dale Carnegie


The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pissers...


RE: A book by Dale Carnegie

I am often wrong too, but I firmly believe that winning a bunch of idiots is never helpful anyway. So why try?

And all important people are won by just two words -"yes sir".

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