How does one know which red, black, blue is on a specific neutral if it is need a code requirement?
YOU DON'T
If the system was installed by a qualified electrician, the neutral should be properly marked at the neutral bus in the panel with all 3 numbers.
Get a cheap amprobe and clip it on ALL the wires under the wirenut of the neutral you are working on. If there is a current and your circuit is off, it is a shared neutral and treat it as such.
As for a code requirement, no there should not be one for the way we group circuits but i believe it would not be a bad idea to require all branch circuits be marked with their circuit numbers along with their neutrals in the panel and in all jboxes. Personally I mark them all including the neutrals and i also try to group them 1,3,5 but that only works on new construction.