Tmoose,
You seem to understand the basic issue well enough, but I would somewhat disagree with your quote from (the very highly respected gear expert) Ray Drago. Scoring is a function of transmitted power and how efficient the tooth contact motion is. Scoring can be an issue with both high and low pitch line velocities.
As for characterizing "wear", that is sort of an ambiguous term. Gears never really "wear". They typically fail in one of three basic modes: fatigue due to tooth bending, fatigue due to surface contact, or galling/smearing due to material transfer (usually due to scoring). The term "wear" would seem, to me, to imply that the gear is gradually losing material. A gear that operates in predominately EHL contact, and has a very low scoring index, will never lose material. However, a gear that is transferring (or losing) material due to the high localized surface contact stresses produced by boundary contact conditions, will quickly fail.
If your gear mesh operates with high pitch line forces and low pitch line velocities, it may never likely produce satisfactory contact conditions to create an EHL oil film. If this is the case, there is no oil on earth with a viscosity high enough to help.
As you noted, an EP additive will help in boundary contact conditions, but they are no magic cure. Most EP additives work by creating a film on the surface of the metal gear that prevents the diffusion bonding effects between the contacting asperity points of the loaded surfaces. But this protection only functions for a very limited amount of time, since it is quickly sheared away during operation.
There is actually a contact stress limit, below which the fretting/material transfer due to boundary contact will not be a problem. It is usually very low, and depends upon the material, heat treatment, surface roughness, surface operating temperature, etc. But this is the limit you should use if your gear mesh is subject to boundary contact and you want it to operate reliably.
Here's a somewhat relevant reference:
Good luck,
Terry