Happiness 7

[arunmrao]

A recent survey by a magazine in Bangalore indicated only 31% are happy. The lowest percentage for India. Perhaps Bangalore too follows the American model in this sphere.

David G Myers a social psychologist in an interview with the same magazine states and I quote" But in affluent countries,once we are able to afford life's necessities, more and more money provides diminishing additional returns.That's why America has big houses and broken homes ,high incomes and low morale,secure rights and diminished civility.We are excelling at making a living,but failing at making a life. We are prosperous but yearn for purpose. We cherish for freedoms but long for connection. In an age of plenty we are feeling spiritual hunger."

These comments are universal I suppose and not necessarily restricted to US.

We have been discussing the gloomier aspects of outsourcing, waning interests in engineering etc. On a positive note I thought of checking how happy are we as engineers. Can a survey be undertaken in this forum?

 

[moltenmetal]

I chose my career well- it suits my interests and aptitudes exactly. And I think I've chosen a noble profession which offers true benefit to society. These things give me tremendous satisfaction.

Am I happy as an engineer? Sure. Would I be happier if I had less stress, more compensation, more career options open to me in my country, and more respect from the general public and from other professions? Absolutely! It's this striving for improvement which drives me to do better professionally- and to be involved in my engineering community for the betterment of my profession.

As to success and wealth breeding unhappiness, it's an interesting notion. Once we have our basic needs met, we can turn our minds to deeper problems which have less satisfactory solutions. We can also create artificial stress and dissatisfaction in ourselves by becoming more materialistic and equating wealth and posessions with satisfaction. That's a mug's game- a pyramid scam that many wealthy/successful people fall victim to.

 

[HgTX]

I like my job. I don't like where I live. I stay here because of the job, even though there is nowhere to advance in this job. And because I'm too lazy to put much effort into finding a different job. Meanwhile, life over there is passing me by as I remain here...

I don't know if I'd be any happier living in a more suitable place with a job I liked less.

I am now completely depressed. Thanks.

Hg

 

[epoisses]

Happiness is biochemistry, it happens in your head and only you can influence it. Happiness is also temporary. Studies showed that if you win a major (x00 k$) prize, your happiness lasts about 2 weeks, after that things are back to normal. This means that you have to work in order to stay happy. Get out of that chair and change your life, otherwise you'll inevitably get depressed. (I moved from one company and country to another last year and life has never been more exciting.)

 

[arunmrao]

Happiness is a state of mind. But what triggers this emotion? If you are provided all the comforts that you desire, after a while,I am sure this too would leave you craving and frustrated.

Happiness is not all about wants or desires, but something beyond.

 

[makeup]

Well HgTx your not alone but all our gripes must be put into context with some of the problems people are having at this moment in time. But that need not stop us from striving to improve. Ive been generally unhappy for a while. My home life is great, I have no major debts, I have a lovely new born son, and yet when it comes to to personal fulfilment I am unhappy. I find very little incentive in working for someone else to make them rich, thats living their dream. I know that I am being underemployed. I struggle to give myself a focus. I have no specific interest and I hate doing the same thing twice. My strengths at work are getting things from concept to operational, but please dont ask me to run it, I'm not interested. I am piggy in the middle of: enjoy what you have- versus-go get some more. However, reflecting on what others have said, my woos are self-stimulated. I was asked two questions the other day by a person who has invested money in hiring someone to coach them through pockets of muddle like this. And I am beginning to think that only when you understand yourself will you really get to the bottom of happiness. The questions:

1) What do you want?
2) Then whats stopping you?

How do we measure satifaction and success? How many of us when meeting someone in the street for the first time in a while immediately bleet about our personnal wealth, successes and waht we want next. I was actually put on the spot they other day someone reply: I'm just really happy. No look ay me, no I've got this, no this is where I'm going, just really happy.

I think that one of the major causes of this unhappiness is that today for us privaliged few, the world is really our ouster. There is so much we could do that we dont know what, we can see the 'opportunity costs. If I do that then I cant do this and that makes us unhappy and negative. I think focus is the key, be clear about what you want and stay happy with what you have. I am going to work on this this year. No more wasting time being negative. If something is worth doing then do it yourself, dont wait for someone else to fulfil your dreams, it will never happen.

 

[DrillerNic]

There is some evidence from psycologists that the happiness of a group is linked to the equality within that group: if everyone is equally poor, everyone is equally happy (or unhappy!). If there is inequality within the group, then those that have less feel unhappy as they compare themselves to the 'have mores'.

So as the US (like many industriallised nations) has a highish level of inequality, this may explain any higher levels of 'unhappiness'. Perhaps Bangalore, by becoming more industrialised, is simply seeing growing levels of inequality, which is producing growing levels of unhappiness?

 

[BJC]

Kinda on topic - I was getting a filling replaced this AM and this poster was on the ceiling.

http://web.utk.edu/~jgoverly/21suggestions.html

21 Secrets to Success by H. Jackson Brown Jr.


1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.

3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.

6. Be generous.

7. Have a grateful heart.

8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.

9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.

12. Commit yourself to quality.

13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.

14. Be loyal.

15. Be honest.

16. Be a self-starter.

17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.

18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.

20. Take good care of those you love.

21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

 

[GregLocock]

22. If you can significantly improve your life by adhering to a one sentence platitude then you must have a very simple outlook.

Cheers

Greg Locock

 

[HgTX]

Greg--
Well, sure, but what about 21 one-sentence platitudes?

For my ceiling-staring medical activities, I much prefer those Murphy's Law posters.

Hg

 

[flamby]

To start with "1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery." -- the figure is definitely wrong and misdirecting. The actual figure is much less, closer to 5%. The figure of 90% pertains to personal health, according to a major authority on the subject.

Ciao.

 

[quark]

LOL or COL??? It is rather easy to be unhappy than taking care of all those 21+..... points.

At the end, I strongly feel, scientists and philosophers come to a common point i.e illusion.

 

[epoisses]

"18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life."
...imho is all you need to do to become happy, the rest comes naturally.

 

[HB2U]

Why is everyone looking for their personal fullfillment in the workplace? Only 12% of you life is spent working. It's foolish to seek your happiness in such a small segment of your life. Aim for the big target; it's much easier to hit.

Instead, you should judt find a job that's enjoyable enough to not stress you out and detract from the remaining 88% of your life. Ideally this job will also provide enough funds to support those outside-of-work life fulfilling activities that you should be pursuing to make yourself happy. If it doesn't, it just means that you need to pay closer attention to your fund allocations when you budget.

If you don't realize that most of life happens outside the workplace, then you'll miss out on it and you also deprive those around you from their happiness and fulfillment. (which then sends your whole world into a death spiral.) Then everybody loses.

Just my $.02

HB

 

[HgTX]

12%? During the working phase of one's life, time spent in childhood and retirement is irrelevant to current quality of life. In my day-to-day existence, work takes up more than a quarter of my life, and on working days it takes up almost half of my waking hours. (It would take up more than half if I got enough sleep.) For most of the week, most of life happens IN the workplace.

Hg

 

[epoisses]

Another 33% can already be achieved with a good matress and a wife that doesn't snore. (reminds me item 1 of the list of 21)

 

[arunmrao]

Fortunately there are no women participants. Or else we would be labelled mcps(courtsey list 21) What if the husband snores ,wife too has a right to protest like mine. (We re married for almost 20 years!!)

 

[epoisses]

I know I was sexist... As a matter of fact, both my wife and I snore, but I engineered myself out of that problem. Snoring usually stops when the snorer changes position. Have you ever noticed that people that have a strong bond move "in phase" (at the same time) when they're together? I noticed this even works when you sleep. So when my snoring wife keeps me awake, I turn from back to belly, so she turns from back to belly at the same time and stops snoring. It's a spectacular sight. This only works when you're in good harmony, not after a good old fight. One more reason to make up before going to sleep...

 

[arunmrao]

We have now got into bedroom talk.!! Now does a good bed ensure hapiness??

 

[makeup]

The old tales are true: its what you make it, you'll never get rich working for someone, you've made your bed so lay in it. Engineering is not the industry to be in at the moment. Thats it. How many more time do you want to here it? Get out do someting different. Your adaptable skills will serve you well.