D23:
The answer to your first question is generally that you can't. There is no real reason for the pump OEM to give the end user a higher quality pump seal. It is another point where cost savings can be achieved. Most pump OEMs are not in the seal business. They pretend to be sometimes. However, if the pump OEM is also a seal OEM, things can be turned around. The obvious example should be Flowserve. If the end user doesn't specify another make of seal, Durco, IDP, Pacific, and the rest of the conglomeration should spec out the best Dura, Five-Star, or BW/IP seal they can. Then all they have to do is pass on the end user info to the local seal rep and they have all the repair or upgrade business.
(I just hope some higher up in Flowserve doesn't read that)
As for part two; the seal, pump, and bearing reps should be making it a point to say to the end users that the best thing they can do to improve the mean time between repair and decrease maintenance costs is to spec themselves the best parts for the application, or have the respective parts rep spec out the best parts. Why would the bearing rep have anything to gain by suggesting the worst bearing for an application? He wouldn't. Who would buy from him again?