Actually, a serious answer is possible, assuming that the barge is alongside a dock.
Just tie a hawser between the downstream outboard corner of the barge and a bollard on the dock not far upstream or downstream.
It would be wise to also tie off the shoreside of the barge at the midpoint and the upstream shoreside corner with long hawsers that can be let out gradually to control the rotation.
Then push the upstream end out in the current and let the current do the rotation, using the thrusters to buck the current.
It gets more complicated if something is docked downstream less than a barge length away. Absent that complication, then you just pull the new upstream end, upstream to the original location.
If you're in the middle of the channel, well, if you WERE in the middle of the channel, you're screwed anyway, and maybe you can allide with something soft before you reach New Orleans....
Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA