Hi 69thbugler,
First of all accept my apologies for a late reply. I saw your posting and I wanted to reply. But because of work pressure I could not. Sorry. But better late than never....So here we go...
Auto heaxa meshing is a much sought out feature in any FE pre processor. Atlease myself...
You can very well do this with high end solvers like ABAQUS. I know that you can store the stiffness matrix from ABAQUS. Other softwares, hmm even IDEAS may have an option to list the K matrix onto the lis file.
Good Luck.
Sridharan.V