Protecting your dreams
Protecting your dreams
(OP)
Time flies and things change in your life. People get married, some have children, with time comes obligations, responsibilities increase. People go through personal challenges, health challenges, money challenges whatever,...
Sometimes all it takes is just a bad career move. Another time its your boss who tells you that the company need to let some people go ; came out you are one of those. Or again its just an A$$hole that pissed you off to the point where you could not take more.
Then there is a point in your life you start to think its maybe the moment to start making a compromise, to be "wise". And so you do and so you try till you painfully realize that you are living the life of someone else instead of living your dream. It was your dream and it did belong to you but you lost it for the sake of social stability and thousand of other reasons.
Whether you are well paid or not, whether you live to the highest standard was not the real point. You can only be happy doing what you love - end of story. There is no other way: you want your dream back.
How far would you go to protect your dreams ? Its a very personal question, I can imagine.
Would you like to share your stories ? I am sure there will be some useful lessons learned and an education for me.
My dream was to become a mechanical engineer, since 20 year. I feed I did not protect my dream enough and I lost it as I am doing a job that is not for me. The lesson I learned is that the pain you may experience daily to protect your dream, such us giving up your pride and ego, all the suffering from the hard work and late hours is NOTHING compared to the pain of loosing your dream. I learned that its important to thank life for all the gifts we have as its the best way to keep them. I feel I did not do it enough.
Sorry its not a very technical topic... please forgive the bad quality of my English.
Sometimes all it takes is just a bad career move. Another time its your boss who tells you that the company need to let some people go ; came out you are one of those. Or again its just an A$$hole that pissed you off to the point where you could not take more.
Then there is a point in your life you start to think its maybe the moment to start making a compromise, to be "wise". And so you do and so you try till you painfully realize that you are living the life of someone else instead of living your dream. It was your dream and it did belong to you but you lost it for the sake of social stability and thousand of other reasons.
Whether you are well paid or not, whether you live to the highest standard was not the real point. You can only be happy doing what you love - end of story. There is no other way: you want your dream back.
How far would you go to protect your dreams ? Its a very personal question, I can imagine.
Would you like to share your stories ? I am sure there will be some useful lessons learned and an education for me.
My dream was to become a mechanical engineer, since 20 year. I feed I did not protect my dream enough and I lost it as I am doing a job that is not for me. The lesson I learned is that the pain you may experience daily to protect your dream, such us giving up your pride and ego, all the suffering from the hard work and late hours is NOTHING compared to the pain of loosing your dream. I learned that its important to thank life for all the gifts we have as its the best way to keep them. I feel I did not do it enough.
Sorry its not a very technical topic... please forgive the bad quality of my English.





RE: Protecting your dreams
Likewise, it'll be a bit crazy to dream of being a rock star without any talent in music. Which is further complicated by strokes of luck, i.e., getting the right exposure that can lead to a recording deal, etc. There are TONS of people chasing their dreams of being a actor, but working at the Cheesecake Factory.
At some point in time, you do have to make that painful assessment that your dream is either unrealistic or that you are unrealistic in your dream. In middle school, I thought I would grow up to be an EE, and graduated from college as that, and was that for the first couple of jobs. However, circumstances and my own shortcomings put me onto a systems engineering path, which I think I enjoy more than my original path. This is as Johnny Bunko says, "There is no plan." http://www.danpink.com/books/johnny-bunko/
TTFN
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RE: Protecting your dreams
Nonsense, sorry but that's the kind of twaddle Oprah and her buddies come up with to sell self help tv shows, books....
It's the kind of thing millennials get flak for, the whole entitlement mentality, as much as it's probably not that worse amongst them than others since every generation decries the state of the young'uns.
When it comes to career/job or however you phrase it my advice to my son has been to balance making enough money to keep you at a standard of living you're happy with, with doing a job that you at least can tolerate even if you don't entirely love it all day every day.
Find your 'joy' elsewhere rather than assuming it has to come from work. Honestly if everyone only worked their 'dream' then a lot of jobs would probably go undone.
What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?
RE: Protecting your dreams
If your desires in life revolve around career satisfaction, have at it. You just have to be very sure of your 'dream' as you put it. If your whole aspiration for life is wrapped up in your career, then get after it. No one will give it to you. Just make sure that's what is most important. If it isn't - then get over it and move on to whatever is.
Life is meant for living. Not keeping your head down and merely tolerating it.
RE: Protecting your dreams
I don't agree with you fully (I think this is the kind of statement that makes the thread interesting
Its true that talent is important but its only a minor proportion of what makes success. Hard work and perseverance are keys and the major factors.
Now true that you could do things to a certain extent. For instance I studied math as needed to become an engineer, but I was sort of average. I know some people were gifted and could go very far in math, not me but then so what? I know I cannot become a mathematician (my brain is not fit for that purpose) but when I had to go through complex finite element formulation because it was a tool I needed to solve a physical problem - well it was a stretch but I sort of adapted.
I think your position is a sort of double edged sword; on one hand its true that to a certain extent you need some talent or plausible conditions to achieve your dream ; on the other hand, I like to say you can achieve anything you want when you have the willingness and the drive.
There is one guy, Sir Steve Redgrave, he is a British rower known for winning five gold medals at consecutive Olympic Games ; he was diagnosed with diabetes and no one could ever think he could win the gold medal with such a penalizing disease. He went so borderline during his training that he almost passed away, seriously. Guess what, despite diabetes he won the medal an he made through perseverance; there are so many guys who would have been in much better condition to make it to the Olympic games (healthy no diabetes) but its he who did that. Most importantly he pushed further a common belief, that is to say what was considered by common folks (your opinion seem to belong slightly to this category) to be a physical boundary which none could over come. He changed the mindset of lot of people giving them strength and hopes. It works the same with dreams and goals, including engineering goals. And actually this aggressive vision is part of wisdom -so actually its even neutral ; it is self contentment that would be unwise.
Actually its when you really want to give up, because you have a continuously negative feedback loop, you start to think I cannot be fit for this job, this is not for me, its beyond my capabilities, that comes the ultimate test made by life : what do you want ? is this really what you want ? Prove it: don't give up.
Should this becomes an exercise of self destruction? I let the old and wise guys of the forum give their opinion.
RE: Protecting your dreams
Love of a job means nothing if you sacrifice everything else good in life to achieve it.
Dan - Owner
http://www.Hi-TecDesigns.com
RE: Protecting your dreams
What matters is that Redgrave made it. What if remains assumptions. What if he would have done the opposite: took less risk ? In this thread we still make reference to Redgrave in a way or another so there must something powerful in his achievement that goes beyond the level of his simple person.
Of course pursuing engineering dream might not be that extreme (at least I hope so...), and yes the price might be missing some good things in life.
RE: Protecting your dreams
RE: Protecting your dreams
Something is certain (to me at least), "true/effective" knowledge and learning cannot hurt you or hurt others (the connection to the good and right you mention). So then the next question is what is "true" learning ? There are so many things we can learn and explore. So how can we be certain the learning we deliberately choose to aim/dream for (mechanical engineering can be cited as an example) has the highest grade, across disciplines, in the sense that it maximizes the use we make of our time so it belongs to the good and right. What is your opinion ?
RE: Protecting your dreams
You may need to suck it up, that is what I was told us in the Army, and that was just about all you can do in the Army... Unfortunately, I need to suck it up more often than I like engineering, but I have also made changes when I could not see a payback. I have a hard time looking back and finding remorse from leaving a miserable situation, things have always worked themselves out.
For some people, professional growth is not high on the priority list, for others it is. If you are miserable, develop a plan to change that, then make several fall back plans, most likely you will need them. Something will come to light, but not without some sweat and elbow grease.
Compromise is a valuable asset, something that you should be willing to use, but not to the point of detesting your day if a long term benefit cannot be rationalized.
RE: Protecting your dreams
You value knowledge and you don't want to squander your time. But it will be a source of continuous pain if you let those values rob the joy from your years.
RE: Protecting your dreams
Cheers
Greg Locock
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RE: Protecting your dreams
I was a glider pilot by hobby, so when my dream job came up I jumped at it, I went to work for a guy building fiberglass sailplanes. For three years I was in hog heaven it was a small company so you had to have many hats, at that time we were also one, of only two, companies in the country repairing fiberglass sailplanes. Very satisfying work I learned a great deal about .
Then the owner was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, it was 6 weeks from the initial diagnosis to his death. The company was liquidated, all of the employees were let go. I started a business repairing sailplanes and doing custom fiberglass molding. Not quite what I wanted , but close to the dream.
I liked doing what I did and moved the business to another state with less restrictive business requirements, which meant leaving behind friends, but I made new ones. Over the years I went job shopping for various aircraft companies ,as I built the business up until, I was working at it full time, at one time I had 16 employees. At that point it stopped being fun. I was no longer fixing aircraft. I was a manager, I was spending more time looking for work for my crew, stomping brushfires and dealing with bureaucrats, and I did not even have time to go soaring, my primary goal in all of this.
I finally gave up, closed the business, and took a job with General dynamics.
So there you have it , You cannot always protect your dreams.
B.E.
You are judged not by what you know, but by what you can do.
RE: Protecting your dreams
Well, it's the sort of thing that you tell your children, but I, for one, will never be a rock star, as I have neither talent, nor a musical ear, nor any skill. So, I can try as hard as I can, but I will never succeed, because I suck at it. And there are a ton of waiters and waitresses at the Great American Food and Beverage Company that far more talented and more driven than me, and they aren't rock stars either. N.B., GAF&B is a place where the wait staff perform for their diners. I even sucked at bicycling; no matter how hard I tried and trained, I never got much faster than about 20 mph on the flats.
But, there are a multitude of skills that I do have, and they allow a relatively large range of careers that I think I could be quite good at.
The whole premise of "work hard and you will succeed" is basically BS in the real world. If you spend a week doing what someone else can do in a day, you do not pass Go, and you do not collect $200. This is roughly consistent with the "Peter Principle" which claims that you rise to the level of your incompetency. When you are in an environment where people are better at doing things than you, you will wind up doing things that no one wants to do, or cares to do. In some cases, that can be quite lucrative, but not necessarily enjoyable. Garbage collection is one such job that few want to do, so they get paid relatively well, and once you get home and take a shower, you're indistinguishable from someone who works in an office, other than a severe and permanent tan.
TTFN
I can do absolutely anything. I'm an expert!
FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies forum1529: Translation Assistance for Engineers
RE: Protecting your dreams
RE: Protecting your dreams
RE: Protecting your dreams
(visit www.despair.com - deliciously cynical and funny source of images including this one)
Dead right.
Don't sell this to kids. An adult should already realize that this is at best a half-truth. Examine it logically:
1) It is possible- indeed even likely- that a person can be working very hard on the wrong things. I'm sure people were working hard to perfect the manufacture of buggy whips, even as late as 1910.
2) It is possible to work hard- even on the right things, and to fail miserably. That should be patently obvious.
3) It is possible to succeed without substantial effort. It's rare, but people do win the lottery from time to time. The same is true in a business context.
4) It is therefore not possible to conclude that because a person succeeded, they must have worked hard- or even if they succeeded AND worked hard, that their hard work was in a meaningful way actually responsible for success.
People want the world to be a just place, where hard work and passion are rewarded. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. But what DOES frequently occur is a misattribution of cause and effect for both success AND failure, based on an inaccurate model of how the world works. That model is based on a sort of "morality" that is similarly twisted, or logically inverted. Lemony Snickett summarized this brilliantly at the beginning of his "13 Observations on the Occupy Movement Made from a Discreet Distance":
(the rest of that piece is here, and is well worth the read)
http://occupywriters.com/works/by-lemony-snicket/
The fundamental question rotw is asking is one we must all constantly ask ourselves: what are we willing to compromise? How do you rank the things that are important to you, and which one do you choose to sacrifice in the interest of another? That's a fundamentally personal question- and if asked in sufficient detail, it's not a question that a person will give the same answer to at 20, at 50 and at 80 years old.
Some people are unyieldingly idealistic: willing to compromise nothing. They usually end up cynical and miserable, but not always. There are enough of them who succeed, and regrettably they can serve as a lighthouse to lead countless others TOWARD the rocks that they somehow managed to avoid.
There are others who are totally able to manufacture their own happiness. Any time they don't get what they want, they don't lose sleep over it at all- they simply modify their desires. The grapes were obviously sour anyway. That's an evolved coping strategy that you can test in the psychological laboratory. All of us are able to do this to some degree, but the ones who are able to do it at will are the happiest people on earth. But are they the most successful?
The irony in this is that some unhappiness is absolutely necessary for success- if you measure success as something other than mere happiness.
As to what my answers are to that fundamental question: a long talk over a significant amount of alcohol would probably be required to sort it out for today. But a few quick points:
1) I have a family. I don't make decisions merely for myself any more. Their comfort and happiness matter to me and that affects my decisions.
2) Look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs. http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html That hierarchy applies, and not just to me. Many of the concerns rotw is talking about are really problems of luxury because primary fundamental needs are already being met and in fact exceeded, and we shouldn't forget that.
3) I try not to work against my own values, whether that be professionally or in a voluntary capacity, or when I make purchases. I'm not always successful but I do make an effort.
4) I don't over-value my career. When I've derived too much of my personal self-worth out of what I did for a living, I fortunately (and early enough) realized what a trap and a dead end that can be. I try to have a rich life outside of work. When I succeed, it makes me not just happier and more satisfied, but also better at my job.
Too few people stop to take stock of these fundamental questions. They're too "busy" and distracted to take a moment and reflect on their lives and on what's important. Some fear to do it. Others have never learned how, or are afraid to use the same methods of rational analysis that they use in their professional lives, in relation to their private or inner lives (I have friends like that, who I love, but who drive me NUTS sometimes!). Others feel that doing so is self-absorption or decadent luxury. But thanks rotw for prompting me to take a moment and think about things more profound than what's on my plate professionally at the moment!
RE: Protecting your dreams
Working hard in a wise direction, while gathering useful resources, and with a cogent plan of action guiding you, which remains flexible and adaptive over time - that's the way to success. And you still may get bit in the ass and fail, sure. But that is no reason to give up. Hell, sometimes it's the mere act of trying and working that pays off in reward, rather than actually meeting the finish line. Ever see an Olympic athlete that wasn't proud of a silver medal?
What lesson are you really trying to preach in telling people NOT to believe hard work pays off? To simply not work hard? That's a great lesson for kids. Life's hard and sometimes unfair, so don't even bother trying. What a life!
RE: Protecting your dreams
TTFN
I can do absolutely anything. I'm an expert!
FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies forum1529: Translation Assistance for Engineers
RE: Protecting your dreams
If work is your fun and you have a bad day/week/year/lose your job, what then?
Don't put all your eggs in one basket, don't _____ where you eat, etc.
RE: Protecting your dreams
I see nothing wrong with following the herd, but that is not for everyone, nor should it be.
The world will not end if you fail, you will only end up tougher and wiser. One needs to decide if they the fortitude for failure.
RE: Protecting your dreams
TTFN
I can do absolutely anything. I'm an expert!
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RE: Protecting your dreams
There was a song some years ago, I cannot remember the title. The lyrics were about a group of migrant workers trucked in every day, for generations, to hack down thorns growing around a military base. One day a new guy comes on and sees that they've been hacking down thorns for generations, and there never is an end. He asks why they don't just pull them up by the roots. The older, wiser people there told him to shut up because its been feeding their families for generations.
RE: Protecting your dreams
I assume you meant it as a compliment, just like I assumed my old head master (school principal) meant it as a compliment when he accused me of similar. The look on his face when I said thanks suggested to me he didn't actually mean it as such but I can't see your face so I'll assume.
When I said 'tolerate' that's really the low bar expectation and hopefully most folks would realize that and aim a little higher such as 'like some of the time' or other lofty goals. However, low bars are there for a reason and sometimes you need to go the minimum acceptable route.
If protecting dreams is what's really important then some folks use these:
Shout out to moltenmetal for the despair.com reference - I resisted the urge to put similar as I didn't want to upset anyone who really believes that 'Team work makes the Dream work' and are lucky enough to work somewhere that the flying carpet take off zone is de-conflicted from the unicorn parking.
What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?
RE: Protecting your dreams
And as IRStuff suggests, I may have missed the whole point and came to an incorrect conclusion.
In general, however, I disagree with dispassionately assessing your life. I believe that is exactly where passion belongs - identifying your self-determined role in life. Not career - just life in general. Family man, traveling explorer, midwest river fisherman, basket weaver, highest ranked PvP player on your WoW server, whatever. We're not meant to be robots all the time.
RE: Protecting your dreams
This obsession with everyone wanting to be 'happy' all the time is self indulgent, hedonistic rubbish as looking at Maslow's hierarchy moltenmetal linked points out. Although it's making the drug companies pretty wealthy.
What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?
RE: Protecting your dreams
RE: Protecting your dreams
RE: Protecting your dreams
I never said one would achieve absolute happiness or nirvana or whatever. But I'd rather work toward happiness and risk 80% accomplishment, never reaching 100%, than to work toward mediocrity knowing I can achieve it.
RE: Protecting your dreams
That is PRECISELY what some people pitch to young people- that the mere combination of hard work and passion is sufficient for success. I believe we agree that they're wrong to do so.
We actually agree: you qualified your remarks by talking about rational analysis, data-gathering, putting together a plan, being flexible etc., and that's most of my point- the rest being that you can't blame someone's failure on a lack of hard work, or be guaranteed that someone who HAS succeeded has indeed worked hard. I don't believe that anybody said that working hard was either unnecessary (i.e. that you can trust in luck alone), or that hard work was necessarily futile. But it's also quite clear that hard work on the wrong things IS futile. In fact it can be significantly worse than merely being futile. Case in point: learning a musical instrument. Everyone knows that hours and hours of practice are essential, but what few realize is that improper practice can actually result in a permanently stunted player- un-learning well practiced bad habits or technique can be as tough as kicking an addition.
RE: Protecting your dreams
I have a couple of personal philosophies that I try (but often fail) to follow that tie into my beliefs.
1. Do unto others as you would have done unto you
2. Suck it up Nancy (sorry if this is perceived as non PC or even out right offensive - but it's a child hood expression that sticks in my memory)
I'd rather work toward being a 'good man' and positively benefiting those around me than on my own individual superficial happiness.
I suspect some of you will see a conflict here with my 'occasionally' contrarian and/or blunt posts but I don't necessarily perceive pandering to others 'feelings' as actually benefiting them.
However, personal belief systems shouldn't generally be discussed in polite company and perhaps I'm getting way off topic and too personal so I'll stop there.
What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?
RE: Protecting your dreams
I believed the subject to be toward what end should you set your goals. More of a "what" than a "how". Achieving your dream job / status / goal / whatever. Dream jobs or dream life or whatever. At least that's the way I was interpreting the thread topic. I may be mistaken, of course.
RE: Protecting your dreams
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/12113-happiness-co...
Enjoy your cookie. Now get back to work!
RE: Protecting your dreams
What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?
RE: Protecting your dreams
Why work towards happiness when we have such a vast pharmacopeia? A gram is better than a damn (stolen from Orwell, who stole it from Zamyatin).
RE: Protecting your dreams
RE: Protecting your dreams
"For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert"
Arthur C. Clarke Profiles of the future
RE: Protecting your dreams
RE: Protecting your dreams
> being independently wealthy
> being kept by someone who is independently wealthy
> not needing to eat or needing a place to live
> already living at your workplace, either because you've gotten divorced because your spouse thinks you are too much of a dreamer, or you can work from home
> making money writing blogs: https://www.siteblog.com/
TTFN
I can do absolutely anything. I'm an expert!
FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies forum1529: Translation Assistance for Engineers
RE: Protecting your dreams
RE: Protecting your dreams
What you view as a dream opportunity might look like a nightmare to someone else. This principle can be expanded to apply to relationships as well. I know men who feel as though they are the luckiest person on earth for finding and marrying the woman of their dreams. But viewing their relationship from my perspective, these women are so unappreciative, disrespectful, and arrogant that I couldn't tolerate living with some of them for even a single day. To each his own.
This quote seems to be appropriate for this discussion:
Maui
RE: Protecting your dreams
You forgot to erroneously attribute that quote to George Carlin. Poor Internet posting form.
RE: Protecting your dreams
RE: Protecting your dreams