Surviving through turbulences
Surviving through turbulences
(OP)
Hello,
I have recently joined a new engineering company (Automotive industry). I have about 10 years previous experience in the same industry working mainly in multinational companies.
After about 4 weeks of work, the boss started to attack by blaming me for very minors things. This boss has now no complex in blaming me anytime. Currently I am working very hard to not leave any chance of finding mistakes. I focus all my energy to try to do a good work.
This boss is allergic to any contradictors (including other very senior people), and is always willing to impose their view on how to do anything (I really mean anything, like how to answer to the phone, how to organize my own desk, also commenting on why this short cut key is used instead of another, it really goes to this level of details!). What troubles me is that this boss started to criticize some very gentle people (at least I found them gentle) and do not tolerate to be contradicted. I just said I respect their view and tried to escape such conversations. Normally I would respect the experience of this boss, but unethical misconduct triggers a real alarm signal at this point.
When it feels like I sympathize with other colleagues who seems to appreciate me, could become good allies, this boss litteraly asked me to not have further conversation with them.
Lastly this boss rejected to validate a calculation because I did a mistake that I tried to recover (still possible) even at the price of running the risk that the wrong work calculation will be released to manufacturing center. So all in all this manager prefers to make sure that the mistake stays in the calculation so that it can possibly be used against me. It is the only explanations. Noone would be irresponsable to voluntarly leave a mistake somewhere.
I have really poor experience (5 months) in this new company but the atmosphere is very hostile and insecure and I feel there is a permanent threat on me. It creates lot of difficulties to concentrate and focus on the current work. There is really no efforts to encourage trust to develop.
I am trying to keep up and deliver a good work, avoid mistake/defects with all my forces.
However it feels like there a kind of abuse. Obviously I have started to look for other opportunities but with the current economy especially in the automotive industry, it is very tough.
Appreciate if you can share some strategies on how to deal on a daily manner with such context. If alreayd someome experienced the same trouble please kindly share how you succeeded to overcome or survive.
Thank you!
I have recently joined a new engineering company (Automotive industry). I have about 10 years previous experience in the same industry working mainly in multinational companies.
After about 4 weeks of work, the boss started to attack by blaming me for very minors things. This boss has now no complex in blaming me anytime. Currently I am working very hard to not leave any chance of finding mistakes. I focus all my energy to try to do a good work.
This boss is allergic to any contradictors (including other very senior people), and is always willing to impose their view on how to do anything (I really mean anything, like how to answer to the phone, how to organize my own desk, also commenting on why this short cut key is used instead of another, it really goes to this level of details!). What troubles me is that this boss started to criticize some very gentle people (at least I found them gentle) and do not tolerate to be contradicted. I just said I respect their view and tried to escape such conversations. Normally I would respect the experience of this boss, but unethical misconduct triggers a real alarm signal at this point.
When it feels like I sympathize with other colleagues who seems to appreciate me, could become good allies, this boss litteraly asked me to not have further conversation with them.
Lastly this boss rejected to validate a calculation because I did a mistake that I tried to recover (still possible) even at the price of running the risk that the wrong work calculation will be released to manufacturing center. So all in all this manager prefers to make sure that the mistake stays in the calculation so that it can possibly be used against me. It is the only explanations. Noone would be irresponsable to voluntarly leave a mistake somewhere.
I have really poor experience (5 months) in this new company but the atmosphere is very hostile and insecure and I feel there is a permanent threat on me. It creates lot of difficulties to concentrate and focus on the current work. There is really no efforts to encourage trust to develop.
I am trying to keep up and deliver a good work, avoid mistake/defects with all my forces.
However it feels like there a kind of abuse. Obviously I have started to look for other opportunities but with the current economy especially in the automotive industry, it is very tough.
Appreciate if you can share some strategies on how to deal on a daily manner with such context. If alreayd someome experienced the same trouble please kindly share how you succeeded to overcome or survive.
Thank you!





RE: Surviving through turbulences
The subject boss appears to not be comfortable with the way you socialize, and with the way you do your work.
Working harder won't fix that.
At least, that's what my experience says.
I've been in similar situations, and tried working harder, and working differently.
It didn't help.
It smells to me like the subject boss is building a case to fire you for cause.
That would not be good for your career.
Get another job, then quit.
Nothing fancy, just a note: "I, <name> hereby resign, effective <date>."
That's it. No explanation. No exit interview. ... but get the other job first.
Subject boss is probably in a hurry, so don't be real fussy about your next job.
You can get a better one later.
You may have to change industries.
Don't let that frighten you.
Bolts is bolts.
Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA
RE: Surviving through turbulences
If this is not the big boss at the top, I would go talk with HR and let them know he is creating a poisonous mentality and also let them know about him allowing an error to pass through him. It could be he is natrually like that or something is setting him off.
It almost seems like he has a bully mentality,
Future PE Engineer
Pet project I am working on to help other engineers, not much yet hoping to get it grow as I learn more
http://www.peexamquestions.com
RE: Surviving through turbulences
Thank you for your comment. It is my impression too.
Then next question to you is : how to buy time then ?
Getting a new job takes a while, that is a real worry. I have no problem changing industry. It might be that I appeared arrogant at some times. Is that sufficient to initiate such agressivity ? Ok maybe. But starting by blaming the new employee on very first weeks looks very weird to me as I have really done efforts. The work I did was not perfect, but I achieved some progress and it has been acknowledged to be good enough by some others.
What strategy would you suggest to build some allies ?
If this boss wants to build a case against me, what type of error could be fatal to me so that I work hard enough tp prevent it or at least try to fight against it ?
You have been through such situations before, was it so intense ?
Pmatherne,
I understand your point. I got the same idea. But problem is that I dont trust none in this company. Certainly not the HR.
What I am trying right now is to gain sympathy of the others and network a bit, just to make the task of this boss not easy.
Anyhow I thank you for your contributions. It helps as I try very hard to let none aroune me in my family knows about my troubles.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
My advice is to get another job as soon as possible. Even if they weren't going to fire you soon, why would you want to stay there? In the meantime, be quiet - no complaining to anyone, especially not on job interviews.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
''My advice is to get another job as soon as possible. Even if they weren't going to fire you soon, why would you want to stay there? In the meantime, be quiet - no complaining to anyone, especially not on job interviews. ''
At the moment, I have adopted as golden rule to never complain. A colleague who were already disguted by the manager came to me to complain, I managed to skip the subject or at least not let them know that I am upset. I beleive it will only bring me more troubles.
However it is good that you point out to not complain during job interviews.
Something I have to keep in mind. And yes I dont feel comfortable staying in this organization but just need to find a way out.
It is a pitty because when they hired me it seemed to be because they needed some set of skills. So I left an other good career path for them and basically the capital I have and that I could loose now at any time, as you can imagine, costed me a lot to build and that just because of one person who - apparently - will have absolutely no problem to sleep at night in doing so.
But that is a moral aspect sorry for being a little beside the main subject.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
The reason I ask is some other jurisdictions can have more protections for workers etc. than most US states have. Now, even there I suspect if you use the law to get them to fire your boss then long term it may not play out for you but I would recommend you spend a little time acquainting yourself with relevant local employment law.
What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?
RE: Surviving through turbulences
He will get bored picking on you, and focus more on people that he knows he can irritate.
There is a mistake in your work? I don't know how that could happen Boss, I did it exactly like you told me. What should I do differently?
RE: Surviving through turbulences
Why was I there? No reason whatsoever; I was no-way, no-how, involved, and shouldn't have even been there in the first place.
This was the same manager who insisted that we have our regular 3pm staff meeting on the same afternoon that all hell was breaking loose during the LA riots. Also, the same manager where a "short" staff meeting would ONLY take 3 hrs, wherein, 2.5 hrs was him yakking away on totally irrelevant subjects.
I agree with those that suggest finding a different job ASAP, and bailing as quickly as humanly possible. Whatever benefit you might have gotten by working in his group is either dissipating or has already dissipated. Such a group is clearly doomed with this type of boss at the helm.
TTFN

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RE: Surviving through turbulences
There may be many reasons for this behavior. In my experience, most are of a personal nature and should never show up in the workplace, especially if one is managing people. Money problems, prejudice problems, family problems, he may have his own 'boss' problems...many things can trigger this. None of it is acceptable, but human nature being what it is...
This is a problem for upper level management to fix & correct. If that is not possible, then pursue other jobs discreetly.
Here's how I handled a couple of scenarios in my own experience:
BadBoss1:
Incompetent, insecure bully, he told everyone in earshot he was the world's best engineer but everyone in the company of 1200 people hated the guy and thought he was a buffoon. Two weeks on the job, he's bullying me, purposely destroying me in presentations (to the shock and chagrin of other department heads), and so on. Finally I decided to go to HIS boss (very risky move). I went to his boss and said, "I'm trying to handle this at MY level, but I think you should know what BadBoss1 is doing." And recounted instances of BadBoss1's behavior, no opinion just facts, witnesses, etc. A few days later I noticed a very distinct change...apparently ManagerBoss had asked around, confirmed the negative behavior, and told BadBoss1 to stop it. BadBoss1 was eventually fired, but it certainly didn't happen soon enough to avoid damage to the entire organization.
BadBoss2:
Another company, another toxic boss. BadBoss2 had taken a chance on firing my co-worker and gotten away with it. Then he started setting me up for the same action. At the time my child was having severe health issues and I decided to attack this problem. 77JQX makes a good point about HR not being your friend. But in this case I had no other option. I went to HR Vice President and asked for appointment. I explained what BadBoss2's behavior was, why it was unjustified (5 years of excellent performance reviews), how it was destroying the teamwork ethic in the group, reminded him of my daughter's conditions and pleaded with him that I did not "need to be looking for another health benefits package," and then I delivered the punchline to the HR VP:"Jim, I don't understand why I am being persecuted like this. Harrassment is a very strong word, but I am getting ready to start using it." Within two days, HR VP confirmed the behavior and fooooom shipped BadBoss2 off to a "How to be a better manager" class. For the remaining years I was with that company, any time I felt abuse from BadBoss2, I would return to HR VP, and fooooom off BadBoss2 would go to another class.
The lessons I learned: there are several Kryptonite Words (harassment, discrimination, etc) that send a cold chill down the HR folks' spine and spur them to action. Those words are like plutonium, so use them very carefully since they can cause your own career death. But with them, those HR Weasels and Upper Level Managers can be used as tools to control bad behavior.
But sometimes, you just need to leave. That's another story, for another time, about BadBoss3.
TygerDawg
Blue Technik LLC
Virtuoso Robotics Engineering
www.bluetechnik.com
RE: Surviving through turbulences
RE: Surviving through turbulences
You have described in painful detail my experience at my last three jobs. I endured verbal abuse, irrational arguments, and micromanagement that set the benchmark for dysfunctional, psychopathic administration.
I tried everything that you have mentioned to no avail. Nothing worked. You can't fight crazy with logic. It's like trying to fix a bad marriage. You can delay the inevitable by going to couples therapy, but it will fail.
My suggestion is to GET OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! There is no hope.
If you are offended by the things I say, imagine the stuff I hold back.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
I think we worked for the same company. I don't mean that jokingly. I could write a book about my three years at that place, but I don't think anyone would believe it's nonfiction.
This is one of those instances where I wish it were possible to contact other members outside of this particular forum.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
The upside of using LI is that you can connect with other discussion participants privately.
The downside of using LI is that you can be identified by present or potential employers or other third parties if they bother to look you up. ...
so discussions on LI about issues on the job are probably not a good idea until you have retired.
You could, however, all use the LI group to link up with each other and share a beer, real or virtual, and maybe set up some other communication channels.
Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA
RE: Surviving through turbulences
I also concur that there is no cure for cancer when it's at the very top of the chain. Your best strategy is a quick exit, whilst your own sanity and self-confidence is still somewhat intact. There are situations where there simply isn't a good end or even a rational or constructive cure. To thine ownself be true in those situations.
Good luck.
It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
That said, if you do go to HR, do not go simply to lodge a complaint. Ask for help with what you can do to improve the situation. Be ready with your own ideas of what you can do, and come as one seeking clarity in the situation. That puts the conflict on a whole different footing with HR.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
RE: Surviving through turbulences
HR will also recognize that the situation is toxic for the company, so they will be in a hurry to resolve it, by expediting your absence.
This is of no importance whatsoever to HR, but the situation is also toxic for you, and you will feel a strong sense of relief when it ends. Leaving soon is in your interest, too, but so is having another job to leave to. So get crackin'.
Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA
RE: Surviving through turbulences
Meanwhile I actively prospect for a new job, which is tough actually, poisonous boss continue and keep up their toxic mentality.
I cannot understand why the management let this happen. I strongly doubt the upper management will do anything or fire the boss.
Boss has good technical skills, is smart and experienced. Is it a good reason for upper management to protect the boss.
Maybe yes. I am really puzzled; maybe I am too young in life to have a clue as all this goes over my head.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
RE: Surviving through turbulences
There's a show called Restaurant Stakeout, where employees are stealing, being rude to customers, etc., and the inevitable question to the owners is, "Why did you let this happen?" And the owners already know they have this problem, because they asked the show to stake out their restaurants in the first place.
TTFN

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RE: Surviving through turbulences
RE: Surviving through turbulences
You realize that Restaurant Stakeout is fake, right? Probably not the best basis for an argument...
Dan - Owner
http://www.Hi-TecDesigns.com
RE: Surviving through turbulences
Maui
www.EngineeringMetallurgy.com
RE: Surviving through turbulences
If you are offended by the things I say, imagine the stuff I hold back.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
yes that is what I was thinking about today during a group meeting with the boss in front of me, when boss was speaking.
I could not concentrate on the speech of the boss but I was figuring out what the hell is going behind all that comedy.
Completely fed up.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
RE: Surviving through turbulences
I'm shocked!
TTFN

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RE: Surviving through turbulences
I would suggest you watch more of Cesar Millan because he does not beat dogs to make them behave. He disciplines them much in the way a pack leader would discipline one of the pack members. The purpose of this is to demonstrate to the dog that you are the pack leader. You are the alpha. There are instances where you must use a distraction technique with some very aggressive dogs, like a grab to the side of the neck or at their side.
While looking for regular employment, I have been doing quite a bit of dog sitting, walking and training. I use Cesar Millan's techniques. The problem with dog owners is that people think of their dogs as children and treat their animals like they are their kids. You cannot do that and have a well-mannered dog.
So for you, I have provided the full length episode of Cesar with Holly, the yellow lab that bit him. This is one episode where he had to use some very aggressive techniques to stop the dog's extreme behavior. But you can see that the dog is uninjured. Cesar does not fare as well. The second video is an explanation or why Cesar got bit by Holly. The dog was eventually rehabilitated, but did not end up going back to the family with the small child.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpPNhjD7Mg4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJyPPbZxyXw
If you are offended by the things I say, imagine the stuff I hold back.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
Cause I think at this point all this will begin to hurt my health and mental sanity.
The job search is giving no outcome yet, so I was looking for some extra orientations here, just to manage and survive few days more.
Thank you guys.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
Meanwhile, at the job site, you must continue to do your very best work, so as to not give your boss any ammunition.
It's okay to mentally sit back and reflect on what a crazy slave ship you're tied to, but do it all in your head. Do not mention your situation to co-workers. Do not engage in idle chit-chat, especially about the workplace.
Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA
RE: Surviving through turbulences
Regarding job search, I will try to change strategy until I find my way back.
Boss try provocation, so that I get nervous and make a fatal mistake. I know that. If I fight back, I loose. Risk is to end up with lot of rework and overtime. If I maneuver to keep an ultimate line of defense, maybe doable but it is tough.
Complaining to HR not a good idea. Complaining to one-over-one is lost in advance. So basically complaining will not work out.
What I learn from that is that after I take the hit day after day, I continue moving forward. So its like being physically beaten but ignore the pain and continue moving forward. However you don't fight with physical force but with your brain, so the tactic of the boss is to get you mentally exhausted so that you don't have the strength to oppose enough resistance and that will reflect upon your work and performance. So the response is to keep the brain in a state of strength to have sufficient spare capacity and resources to continue executing the work in a proper way, means with minimum defects.
Very different to what I was used to on previous companies where I have experienced pressure from leadership but with some sort of minimum mutual trust and understanding so basically a descent amount of energy went into dealing with the work instead of dealing with negative/self destructive stress.
What don't kill you make you stronger. It is also an experience where you have to trust yourself.
The line between real abuse and any justified remark coming from experience and know how is very tiny, and smart people maintain it as such. You need to see that and stay objective. There are signals to help you. Boss criticizing, insulting some other colleagues, not good. Boss being completely careless about how you feel and using one communication 100% of the time also not good.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
Currently I have a fixe/ definite term contract (temporary contract of 2 years duration).
Suppose I will find a new job opportunity and proceed with next step to leave my current company.
I have heard that a fixed term contract cannot be terminated before its term expect in case of mutual consent.
What if the employer will play dirty up to the point that they reject a resignation from and oblige me to stay to the full extent of my contract duration. Have you been in such situation before ?
As I am really not willing to stay in this hell where I am now for such a long period.
RE: Surviving through turbulences
As for that, BadBoss3 made the workplace an absolute hell hole, everybody hated working there. But the pay & benefits (with a pension, fercryinoutloud!) were fabulous. Tried to find a new path within the larger company in order to maintain the lucrative lifestyle, could not. Funny thing about those Golden Handcuffs: you begin to think it is the most important thing in the world (assuredly, is not). Working there affected my health & family relationships. SmartWife said I need to get away from it so she could "get my husband back". The Big Man Upstairs provided me with an out, and I decided after much prayer to take it. I hunkered down for several months, stayed as professional as possible, passed my 5-year anniversary date (in order to get my pension benefit), then gave my notice. Walked out 5 days later. I would have rather tried to work out a smooth transition (once again, I had a critical skill set), but I am convinced BadBoss3 would have terminated my position before the 5-year date. Life became so-o-o-o-o-o much better. Another one of those best decisions ever.
TygerDawg
Blue Technik LLC
Virtuoso Robotics Engineering
www.bluetechnik.com
RE: Surviving through turbulences
Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA
RE: Surviving through turbulences
Tygerdawg,
I think your wife has been indeed very smart and helped you very much to get out of this hell.
You managed to survive with three bad bosses with a family to worry about. You deserve lot of merits for all the resistance you have opposed going through that.
Lately I have been upset by boss and lost patience. I am disappointed by my behavior as I want to avoid arguing with the boss, just shut up my mouth and stay professional as much as possible if I want to get out of all that s**t.