The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
(OP)
Quite often in my career at various companies, I start comparing myself to other co-workers. It typically starts with comparing project loads, or other factors like travel, etc. I find myself thinking that their circumstances are better, maybe they are less overloaded, have to travel less etc.
This is a dangerous mindset, it is always hard to know what other employees are dealing with or why they might seem to get by with doing less etc. In any event, the more i focus on comparing myself to others within my company, the closer I get to leaving a company.
This is a dangerous mindset, it is always hard to know what other employees are dealing with or why they might seem to get by with doing less etc. In any event, the more i focus on comparing myself to others within my company, the closer I get to leaving a company.





RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
David Simpson, PE
MuleShoe Engineering
"Belief" is the acceptance of an hypotheses in the absence of data.
"Prejudice" is having an opinion not supported by the preponderance of the data.
"Knowledge" is only found through the accumulation and analysis of data.
The plural of anecdote is not "data"
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
Could have solved that problem when you started sending a bill to the DM for using your car all of the time for field work.
Dan - Owner
http://www.Hi-TecDesigns.com
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
David Simpson, PE
MuleShoe Engineering
"Belief" is the acceptance of an hypotheses in the absence of data.
"Prejudice" is having an opinion not supported by the preponderance of the data.
"Knowledge" is only found through the accumulation and analysis of data.
The plural of anecdote is not "data"
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
Your attitude is toxic -- but the only one who can change it is you. Unless it's blatant and destructive, I figure that bias and unfairness are two of the things they pay me for, that's how I get by.
Every day I get paid for doing something I don't want to do. Some days it starts with getting out of bed. Some days it doesn't hit until the evening commute home. Some days it's every little stinkin' thing all stinkin' day long. Then again, there's the occasional day that they pay me to sit around and flick my fingers in the air for lengthy periods of time and sit in meetings designing my retirement villa on a sketch pad.
So when I hear that I gotta go to Marigold Mississippi for two months, I might fume for a while. Then I add up my fuming time, multiply it by the hourly equivalent of my salary, and boom! It was worth it. Besides, Marigold is the home of the Blue Plate Diner. I might come home and need a bypass surgery, but I'll come home with memories of great southern home cookin'.
I admit it takes practice to look on the bright side, especially when others around seem to be getting a brighter side than you are. If you can't find a bright side, look at your pay. Then try to leave the dark side there in the office at the end of the day.
Best to you,
Goober Dave
Haven't see the forum policies? Do so now: Forum Policies
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
This week I was little down because of something that happened. Someone in my company screwed up and as a result my schedule had to be changed immediately. I would be more specific about what happened but it'd be my luck that someone would find my venting online haha.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
Doesn't sound very fortunate for them!
The correct answer for "how was your day" is "the usual" and then you move on to more pleasant topics. Leave it (all of it) at the office if you can, I know that's not possible when you have to discuss travel schedules so shoot for a time limit, maximum 5 minute rants only.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
- Steve
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
TTFN

FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies
Need help writing a question or understanding a reply? forum1529: Translation Assistance for Engineers
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
Having also been an employer and having to deal with people like this, I can say that these are the least valuable people in an organization, and are the first to be weeded out when the opportunity arises. Their drama and high-maintenance attitudes are simply not worth the effort, no matter how skilled they be.
It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
B+W Engineering and Design
Los Angeles Civil Engineer and Structural Engineer
http://bwengr.com | http://bwstructuralengineer.com | http://bwcivilengineer.com
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
I have only myself to blame, and I don't complain to bosses or even co-workers. If anything I was pointing out how dangerous this mindset is to remind myself to stop engaging in it.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
When I get in that mindset, I work really hard at being grateful for every little thing. For another day to live, a safe house, a safe car, a job, the things that go well at work, food to eat, friends at work or at least pleasant coworkers, family I love and who loves me, you get it. Focus on gratitude and help your attitude shift. Oh - and take your wife out on a nice date, where you don't talk about work AT ALL.
* The doctor is in. 5 cents please. *
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
It is a free market after all and your attitude should be that of maximizing your earnings and satisfaction
in light of available pay.
However you must maintain your self concept in light of inequalities at work. In other words it is very easy to start
subconsciously doubting yourself in light of unequal circumstances.
Know who you are and what your abilities are and judge whether your situation is a good match for them.
I have has work that was quite a bit less difficult than i was capable of doing and found it difficult to
stay professional. I had to say to myself.. 'fill in the blank' are your qualifications, you can do .......
work, and this job is not at all setting my limits...
Comparison is necessary for a good career, it is also necessary to maintain a solid identity or self concept.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
hiding the info about your pay from coworkers only benefits your employer.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
I try to always remember how lucky I am to be born where I was with the parents I have and the intelligence I have. I didn't do anything to deserve or earn any of those things. There are roughly 6.9 billion people on the planet who are worse off than me, almost all through no fault of their own.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
I should clarify that the people I dislike are the ones who are permanently and consistently in the self-entitled mindset, that must introduce their neediness and drama to everyone around them, and conscript everyone within earshot into their own personal support staff. A little comparison and analyzing is certainly normal, for the myriad reasons listed in preceding posts.
There, whew! Open bar on my tab at the Pub for the remainder of the day.
It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
I think substantial progress we achieve in life in general comes from overcoming challenges.
I realized myself that one excellent source of challenges is inequalities and unfair treatment.
lets put it that way: It is up to you to make any (even perceived) inequality acting in your favor, by learning even more and striving for quality and professional excellence.
Some people may suspend the laws of nature from acting for sometime, but not all the people can do it all the time.
Ultimately the excellence you build in adverse conditions will help you to get even better and stronger, and from that standpoint challenges are real blessing, but there is a price for it and you must be willing to pay this price.
I am not insulting your intelligence here, and you probably know all that better than me.
Appreciated your posts and your courage to rise the point in an open manner all along this thread.
From a personal experience, I found very difficult to change from inside but more effective to impact your boundaries and see what comes out. And that is why I see no harm in looking around you and observe what is going on...but I suggest you don't complain about it to anybody, even not to your family.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
must been after a response to one of mine in the Pub...
TTFN
FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies
Need help writing a question or understanding a reply? forum1529: Translation Assistance for Engineers
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
There was a woman, fairly junior on the team, who had left for extended sick leave and had not been seen for months. We decided to give her the fancy seat. Three of us spent about an hour meticulously swapping stuff from her old desk to her new one, and arranging it all so that it looked like she'd been in. We even had a female accomplice write an updated "out of office" message on her new (larger) dry erase board with more current dates on it. We had no sooner finished our work than another individual came walking by and caught the three of us red-handed. He assessed the cubicle briefly, and looked at me. I smirked and asked "well, what do you think?"
The guy absolutely flew off the handle. Apparently he thought HE was in line for that seat. He stomped up and down the hallway cussing up a storm about managers this and no-show good for nothing thats... while the three of us looked at each other like "holy eff, we need to get out of here!" In the end we let him in on the prank to calm him down, and he seemed a little embarrassed (but perhaps not as much as he should have).
On Monday when the intended victim arrived, he didn't even blink and just set about relocating all of the absent employee's stuff back to her old desk, and by lunchtime he had moved in and was sitting with his feet on the desk and a look of utter satisfaction on his face.
Oh well, can't win 'em all ... but at least the unintended victim made it halfway worthwhile.
My desk on the other hand is tucked in deep in a corner, next to the copier room and behind the shred bin. I could take a nap or just not show up at all and most days nobody would even notice. That has its benefits ... but it does get lonely in the corner sometimes and I'll find myself creeping out of the hole to find someone to talk to (everyone else who doesn't have a door has 2-3 neighbors he can see / talk to from his desk), and the cleaning people don't always remember to empty my trash. To paraphrase DRWeig, they pay me well enough to sit in the closet if that's where they want me. I was at a bar having drinks with a project manager the other night, and he made a remark about not being paid enough. I didn't want to tip my hand too much, so I knocked 20% off of my salary and asked whether that's what an engr project manager made in his corner of the office. He laughed and said he was a little under half of that to which I replied "well, everybody has their own things that motivate them" and abruptly changed the subject to the sunset we were watching.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
Now I'll admit, if I had an office with a door on it that door would be closed much of the time.
The organisational reason why this inefficiency is tolerated/ignored/encouraged is that (a) my time is not greatly respected and/or (b) a large part of my job is those drop-in conversations may be a one or two hour hit for me, but may save the other guy a day. And for communication I agree face to face is better than WebEx is better than phone is better than email is better than my wiki where all my results and reports are stored.
I hope it is (b).
Cheers
Greg Locock
New here? Try reading these, they might help FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
Every place I've ever worked at would look down (heavily) on someone relocating themselves... it's akin to pushing the body out before it gets cold. The manager makes seat/office assignments. They'd certainly appreciate the joke you attempted to pull off, but once that guy moved in of his own accord, they would have quietly asked him to pack his crap up and get back to his original desk... along with a silent black mark in the asshat category that would follow him for years.
Dan - Owner
http://www.Hi-TecDesigns.com
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
Still, the stigma remains. I would have a real tough time feeling good about myself or proud of what I do for a living if I got stuffed back into a cubicle. I have come to the conclusion that, in companies like that, engineers get cubes and MBAs get offices. That allows me to draw comfort by focusing on the alternative stigma.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
those are not the nicer seats. at least if it's a single person room.
at least for us here in europe.
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
The windows side of my office has a very nice view on a swimming pool with lot of bikini.
Only managers can seat there
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
Just sayin...
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
Some laughter often is good, but keep it professional.
I prefer mid-size companies, not as much BS as small companies or politics/bureaucracy in large companies.
Chris
SolidWorks 13
ctopher's home
SolidWorks Legion
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
It’s hard for a reason. Comparing yourself and assuming things like they do less work etc. is the same thing as judging them. It’s no different than being the gossip around the coffee pot. (Did you notice ‘so and so’ is always late … bla bla bla)
You are right – you don’t know what they are dealing with, and if they don’t perform change will happen so enough.
Being aware that you do this is a great step to stopping. Getting your own work done and not worrying about others will advance you faster, and I guarantee you will be happier working in the first place.
Sorry if I sould like I am scolding, but I am tired of the judging without knowledge. I know - I used to do it and started hating work. Now I worry about my own work, get it done and get noticed for doing so. Makes everybody happy.
www.Exlar.com
RE: The danger of comparing oneself to other co-workers
This means you don't have enough work to do or you are board with your job.