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Funny Performance Review Comments
9

Funny Performance Review Comments

Funny Performance Review Comments

(OP)
All,
It is odd and funny to see this close-out Performance Review comments. This person is leaving his current supervisor for better opportunity in the same company.

I am not sure this supervisor knows what he is writing and back-fired on him. Has anyone of you ever seen this type of comments from a supervisor? What are the right approach to reply this type of comments?

Is the supervisor got upset and shows his frustrations on this person?
Thanks.
A

The comments start here:
Mike tends to be too blunt when coaching others and providing feedback. He needs to show more consideration and sensitivity to others' feelings. His feedback feels more like direct criticism and this can make others feel angry or undervalued.

Damaging others' self-esteem does nothing to help the person understand and make necessary improvements and adjustments.

When Mike needs to give negative feedback to others, he needs to show empathy while offering support and guidance. This will give people the confidence to continue in their efforts to improve.

Mike tends to dictate change instead of introducing it in a positive, collaborative way. He doesn't listen to others' concerns or tolerate resistance. This puts people off and impedes the chances for successful implementation of the change.

Mike should try to empathize with people who feel loss or have other concerns as a result of change and offer ways to help individuals overcome their resistance.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

One word: EMPATHY. No two people think or operate the same way.

- Steve

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

Sounds like Mike's peers need to grow up.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

Sounds like the supervisor was writing about himself.

The best one I ever got said "As soon as David learns to develop lists he'll be an more effective Petty Officer". I asked him if he had run out of substantive things to say and he didn't know what "substantive" meant.

David Simpson, PE
MuleShoe Engineering

"Belief" is the acceptance of an hypotheses in the absence of data.
"Prejudice" is having an opinion not supported by the preponderance of the data.
"Knowledge" is only found through the accumulation and analysis of data.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

To answer the OP's specific question: "Is the supervisor got upset and shows his frustrations on this person?"

No, I don't think so. They appear to be plausible comments from someone who, himself, is not terribly good at providing direction. Clearly, most of the comments are structured as pure criticism, as opposed to constructive comments. However, the context is unclear, and why the OP is privy to someone else's review is unclear. Nor do I see why the OP is required to "reply" to these comments, particularly if they are directed at someone else.

TTFN
FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

It's also possible that Mike is a loud-mouthed jerk who doesn't play well with others. Best to look at it with an open heart and see if anything can be learned from it.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

Between the service and the big company I worked for I had 29 years of quarterly performance reviews. There was never one of them that had a positive impact on my performance. For a while the company had an "objective" rating system and the score I got on that improved my annual salary discussion (usually from 1% raise to 1.125% raise), but that seemed to encourage good performers to perform good (and didn't have any impact at all on medium performers) so HR stopped that crap. I found getting and giving these horrible things to be a gigantic waste of time.

David Simpson, PE
MuleShoe Engineering

"Belief" is the acceptance of an hypotheses in the absence of data.
"Prejudice" is having an opinion not supported by the preponderance of the data.
"Knowledge" is only found through the accumulation and analysis of data.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

Some of my best working relationships have started with a precaution before the introduction: "He's difficult to work with."

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

I bet the professors you remember fondly were the ones that your friends said were jerks too. Probably the things you value are more like "honesty", "integrity", "timeliness", and a strong desire to follow through on what they say they'll do than on "wit", "life of the party", or "fun". I'm the same way.

David Simpson, PE
MuleShoe Engineering

"Belief" is the acceptance of an hypotheses in the absence of data.
"Prejudice" is having an opinion not supported by the preponderance of the data.
"Knowledge" is only found through the accumulation and analysis of data.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

So you can't be kind and honest at the same time?

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

I see a certain conceit among "touchy-feely" people. They complain that you should be "softer", but they never make the effort to communicate on your terms.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

Seems like HR is involved - never good. But if he was that BAD - fire his butt...

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

So how did you get a copy of my appraisal? The supervisor's real issue is that he knows Mike is right and is attempting to drag the idiotic organisation in the right direction, and is trampling on toes as he does so. The supervisor wants a quiet life and has given up on any attempt to move the organisation.

Cheers

Greg Locock


New here? Try reading these, they might help FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

sita,
In my experience no you can't. The worst supervisors I've ever had were "kind" and they universally hid stuff from the workers that the workers needed to know. If bad news has to be conveyed give me a hard ass to do it every time--the kind guys will try to spare your feelings and botch the job.

David Simpson, PE
MuleShoe Engineering

"Belief" is the acceptance of an hypotheses in the absence of data.
"Prejudice" is having an opinion not supported by the preponderance of the data.
"Knowledge" is only found through the accumulation and analysis of data.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

I had a marvelous comment from an old boss in my appraisal describing me as "belligerent, confrontational, and often right". He could easily have been describing himself except his would have said 'always right'. I miss working for him. Those who replaced him occupied his old position were ineffectual touchy-feely types who weren't fit to lick piss off his boots.

No offence intended to touchy-feely types; I'm a reformed character these days. wink

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

When I was younger I once had a boss tell me you're a real a****** which wouldn't be so bad if you weren't right so often... I chuckled and told him right then and there that it takes one to know one. He grinned. A few months later he made the accurate observation that I could probably use the raise I'd just gotten from him as a bargaining chip to get a better offer at a client company that was trying to poach me. It worked.

Ah, those were the days.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

I think there is going to be a lot of truth in this persons evaluation. I'm envisioning Mike as the typical know it all young engineer who is hard headed but also very good/competitive. This person probably has a good opportunity in the company but the current supervisor wants to hopefully open his eyes to some of the abrasive things that he is doing. If Mike keeps on his current path he will either be used as a pawn by upper management who will give him all the crappy jobs and work him to death because of his own arrogance. Maybe Mike has respect for this supervisor and will take what he is saying to heart. The supervisor obviously cares about the person enough to take the time to communicate his true feelings but played things right by waiting until he was leaving the group. Worse case situation is that Mike never gets taught how to lead people in a way that makes them want to do better for themselves and the company. He then becomes one of those out of control middle managers who works himself into the ground while ruining other peoples lives that cross his path along the way.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

"Worse case situation is that Mike never gets taught how to lead people in a way that makes them want to do better for themselves and the company."

Believe it or not some people will actually work well with or for this type of person. Equally some people won't, and the author of those comments is very likely in the latter category. His opinions are just that - unless there's a book of rules about how to be a boss? Actually there are thousands (millions?) of books just like that, and they are all written in much the same style by touchy-feely types. I guess that is because the command-and-control guys are too busy making things happen. wink

I would like to ask these self-appointed experts why, if their way is so effective at making an organisation work effectively, my country no longer has any industrial base worthy of the name. The reality of their way of doing things seems to be that everyone loves each other and no one criticises but the organisation itself falls apart and everyone loses their job. I'd rather get shouted at by the boss and pay my mortgage than the reverse.

Do the emerging industrial nations use this style of management? I know there are massive cultural differences which are almost certainly a big contributor to their success, especially between the Western nations and the far east and pacific rim.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

I forget who said this, but one of my favorite quotes is, "One man's efficiency is another man's brutality."

"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."

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RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

Well said, ScottyUK.

The same can be said for the UK education system. All the kids must have fun. No need to actualy learn anything that may be useful. Just look at the Brouhaha over the recent GCSE results.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

I worked with a guy who was the epitome of "cruel but fair". He managed the contract drafters. Non-performers were ruthlessly culled. Performers were retained and rewarded.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

I don't see IRStuff's questions are answered by ProtectionEngineer. Some tips from my experience: Always log any incidents pleasant or unpleasant (normally that gets registered in your memory); do not respond to the performance evaluation right there, request sometime; think and go for one-on-one (this is not a Presidential election) with the evidence you've; remember a leader is not by position, is by talent; you control the stage only after first listening. Most of the time you tend to face with standard 'tutored' management phrases like business need, team player, not positive and so on. They may be subjective, but supervisors do not care. Prepare, prepare and prepare for those type of questions or statements. My short answer to ProtectionEngineer: The person who left Mike should face Mike in the first place, explain with evidence and walk away . Rememember, nobody is evil, only they are made by ignorance. Make use of that chance to show your skill. I prefer words to gun based on cost.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

(OP)
All,
Thanks for all your reply.

I suggested to Mike just reply to supervisor in a very simple sentenses.
"Supervisor's comments are purely unfounded's proofs.
These were soley his personal perceptions and speculations.
His comments were expressed out of personal frustration due to the fact
that his team members are leaving for better opportunities"

In this situation, it is better not to jump into the same muddy pond with supervisor.
No matter what you write it will still hurt the supervisor feelings.

Thanks.
A

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

geordie87,

I think we may share a hometown. wink

.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

If Mike's problems are that significant, lots of people will know about them. That's been my experience. Managers can retaliate. I've experienced that a couple of times in my career. They weren't completely ineffective managers but they were having their issues and spreading the wealth. I wasn't the only one that experienced retaliation with one of those managers. Strange how managers think peons never discuss reviews enough to discern trends.

Depending on who asks, my truthful answer will vary in delivery.

ProtectionEngineer, I wouldn't say anything about a reason for his comments such as "frustration over subordinates leaving for better opportunities." That's conjecture thus dangerous ground in a War of Words.

Pamela K. Quillin, P.E.
Quillin Engineering, LLC

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

3
Based on the title of this discussion, I was expecting something more along the lines of the following examples. These are quotes from actual telephone company employee performance evaluations:

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this employee to breed.

3. This employee is really not so much of a "has-been," but more of a definite "won't-be."

4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat.

5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

8. He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.

9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

10. This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

11. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

12. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

13. He doesn't have ulcers, but he is a carrier.

14. I would like to go hunting with him some time.

15. He's been working with glue too much.

16. He would argue with a signpost.

17. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

18. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

19. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.

20. A photographic memory, but with the lens cover glued on.

21. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

22. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

24. Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

25. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

26. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

28. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

29. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

30. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

With these kind of employees it's not really surprising that so many of the traditional telephone companies are finding it difficult to compete in the marketplace!

Maui

www.EngineeringMetallurgy.com

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

Maui - Hilarious! #18 had me spitting coffee!

"All models are wrong, but some are usefull" - George E. P. Box

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

Quote:

With these kind of employees

Sheesh. I doubt the problem is with the employees.

With snide sarcastic juvenile comments like those actually written by supervisors, the telephone companies must be hellish places to work. It's difficult, but not impossible, to herd a bunch of cats and properly motivate and energize one's employees without being a World Class Jerk about it. I suspect that is why there are so few good, decent, effective supervisors out there.

TygerDawg
Blue Technik LLC
Virtuoso Robotics Engineering
www.bluetechnik.com

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

Actually, #17 describes to a T an engineer I used to work with.

When she announced that she was leaving the company, we threw her a going away party, but inadvertently forgot to invite her winky smile

TTFN
FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

I think I've probably worked with her too... actually passed up my first supervisory opportunity (and possibly last) partly because i didn't want to be stuck supervising HER. (and apparently firing her was out of the question, because there had been sooooo many instances in the past where mere mortals would have been demoted and/or fired and yet she persisted in her role)


RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

It was probably one of the best going away parties that I've attended. She was in the semiconductor industry, if that's of any help. She likewise knew how to play the discrimination card, being both female and Persian.

There's a whole book on how to provide double-meaning recommendations for people like that. At another company, we got snookered by an "she's an outstanding engineer" recommendation. Turns out she was an outstanding idjit engineer, who couldn't engineer her way out of the middle of a shift register. That was me, working as a tech, debugging a shift register, and her, a 20-yr experienced engineer, who couldn't fathom why the oscilloscope trace looked the way it did, when probing the middle of the shift register. So yeah, I would have had a comment that would have been on Maui's list.

TTFN
FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

I really liked the listing.

My favorite from past experience is

The door opened with a jerk and he stepped in.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

I think that list has been around on the intertubes ever since Al Gore invented them.

More seriously, if your organisation does advertise for, read the resume of, interview and select one of these types, does anybody ever go back and try and change the process so it doesn't happen again?

Cheers

Greg Locock


New here? Try reading these, they might help FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

I've been thinking about my bosses. The best ones were kind, decent, and honest. I also learned the most from them.

Pamela K. Quillin, P.E.
Quillin Engineering, LLC

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

ProtectionEngineer,

i'm curious, why are you writing about someone else's evaluation?

i ask myself what qualities did the best supervisor i had are? integrity, honesty, and forthrightness. only one had these qualities. i recall getting scolded for something i said to another fellow non-engr employee (like "i'll kick your ass to the curb"). after walking out of the supervisor's office, i was relieved and felt more confident about myself simply because of the advice and encouragement provided. he recognized a weakness and provided the antidote, but with a final warning to never speak to others that way again. i honestly believed he would have terminated me if i did not acknowledge wrong-doing because he mentioned that I could be terminated.

it appears Mike's supervisor needs some coaching . . .

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

There's nothing wrong with being an a$$ when necessary. Others dictate the necessity.

RE: Funny Performance Review Comments

" There's nothing wrong with being an a$$ when necessary. Others dictate the necessity."

I can't quite agree. Having btdt I can assure you that the only time it might not cause you more harm than good is when dealing with bullies and that is a special case where other optionsxare almost always available. Otherwise the harm it does you more than outweighs any potential benefit. There is no need to take my word for it however, just remember this caution. Time will demonstrate the truth of the principal.

Jim

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