How can I deal with a harrassing boss
How can I deal with a harrassing boss
(OP)
I am stressed to the limits. I no longer feel like going to work everyday as I get a sick feeling in my stomach as I approach work. I constantly get butterflies in my stomach as I head to my boss' office knowing that no matter how good my reports are, I will be criticized for every single detail. I have started losing focus and concentration at work as I am beginning to feel unmotivated due to the bullying. I keep telling myself I still dont have my PEng so I need to suck it up and get the experience, but how long can I do this for when I feel I am getting depressed and losing sleep? I know others working for the same boss receive similar treatment but I don't feel that they want to take action as they are afraid to speak up.
I am a contractor so I am not sure how much Human Resources at the company can do for me but my headhunter doesnt seem to be doing much as all he is concerned about is his bottom line.
Any tips?
I am a contractor so I am not sure how much Human Resources at the company can do for me but my headhunter doesnt seem to be doing much as all he is concerned about is his bottom line.
Any tips?





RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Your health and sanity are more important than any job. Talk to him or his boss, tell them that your boss' behavior is not acceptable and that if it does not stop immediately you quit. If it does not, quit!
Labor laws protect you, but it would probably be difficult to prove.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Assuming your work really is good, the only thing you can change is your reaction to your boss. Try a subtle but persistent offense. Don't just dump finished reports on him. Keep hitting him up to see what his expectations du jour are, and make a point of showing you understand and meet them.
It may be hard to keep a poker face, but the last thing that will help is showing you are hurt. People like him feed on that.
Start networking internally as much as you can, especially upwards (boss's peers & supervisor). You may learn some interesting and useful things.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Next time you get together to review a report, take a notebook along and jot down all the criticisms. Ask him how he would have handled every detail he criticises and write down his suggestions.
If asked why you are taking notes, smile and tell him your new goal in life is to produce a report he can't criticise.
Keep track of how many details he dislikes and let him know when the number drops. "Wow, only 23 problems this time. I'm getting better ... or your getting softer."
Meantime, keep your eyes and ears open for another position elsewhere.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
(1) For a "salvageable jerk", set him up to cross the line, and then graciously let him off the hook when he does. He'll probably treat you differently from then on.
(2) For a complete "jerk", tell him that the next time he mistreats you, he will find himself through the window and splattered on the pavement like manure from a tall cow.
I have done both. Both have worked, but you have to have a pretty good read on the bully in order to decide which is the more likely to be effective.
Regards,
SNORGY.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
If you're a CONTRACTOR,
and the work/abuse is COMING HOME IN YOUR BELLY,
well, then, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
When the Boss Ogre starts ranting, you just stop what you're doing, smile pleasantly, and listen to what he has to say, for as long as he wants to yell/talk. When he stops, smile more, and say 'thank you'.
He will probably ask why you so perversely thanked him for yelling at you. Respond that it's easier than actual work, AND HE IS PAYING YOU FOR IT. You don't need to speak the emphasis.
The other way to deal with it is to call in and take a day off, "Because THE VOICES told me to stay home and CLEAN MY GUNS". Again, the emphasis is for your benefit; you can speak very quietly.
Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Cheers
Greg Locock
New here? Try reading these, they might help FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
I need to do this for the sake of my sanity cuz no one should be afraid to approach their boss or go to work each day.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
I had a situation a few years ago, similar but not as severe. I was a contractor dealing with a boss who was not competent to be an engineering manager (he was a shop supervisor who assumed engineering manager spot when real one quit). I told my agency I was not happy with the unprofessional treatment. They understood and supported my effort to correct the situation, even if it meant "the worst".
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Cheers
Greg Locock
New here? Try reading these, they might help FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
If you're youngish, then relax and believe this: being fired ain't so bad, you'll get through it just fine.
On the other hand, "harassment" is one of today's society's Carcinogenic Keywords. I was harassed badly at one time by a boss all considered to be Satan's stepchild. Stressed me out terribly for a variety of reasons. Then I went to the HR Weasel and sobbed my story about my disabled kid, constant negative actions by Beelzebub, what have I done wrong, excellent performance reviews, etc. I told HR Weasel " 'harassment' is a very strong word, but I am ready to start using it". BINGO, DirtBag was severely reprimanded and packed off the following week to a "how to be a better manager" class. Any time that twit even looked at me funny from then on, off I went to HR Weasel and off DirtBag went to class again. Problem solved.
Carcinogenic Keywords to use sparingly: 'harassment' and 'hostile workplace' . The HR Weasels of the world will dive for cover when they hear them because it means "lawsuit".
TygerDawg
Blue Technik LLC
Virtuoso Robotics Engineering
www.bluetechnik.com
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Eating flatulant foods is another approach. That one's tricky, some people like it.
That one never seemed to work with lawyers.
Like Mel the Diner said, the best defense is an offense. If you can be odious enough to avoid personal contact, then he will avoid you. Consider excessive scratching, frequently blowing your nose, phantom hand or leg syndrome, things stuck to your teeth, keep limburger cheese in your shirt pocket, etc, then tell him he's your role model. Be creative. Laugh at inappropriate times and tell him you have a family history of Tourette's. If you have to talk, go off on endless, pointless stories, the more boring and pointless, the better. I'd recommend watching Porky Pig and Grandpa Simpson for a while to get pointers.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Amazon has a book for about $10.00 us
How to Work for an Idiot: Survive & Thrive-- Without Killing Your Boss [Paperback]
John Hoover
I would recommend it, I found it most useful some 20 years ago,dealing with a similar situation.
B.E.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
First you need to figure out if this is your fault or your bosses. Then either fix your performance, or quit.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
There is only one thing that you can change and that is how you deal with the situation. Treat the reviews / comments as advice. I have had reports come back to me covered in red. I have had others come back and not even simply spellos corrected. Which one is better for me, the company and the client?
Sometimes I look at what I have written and what appears to be a slightly different way the checker has written it, and think whats the point, why have they wasted their and my time. But as I have become the checker, I see some sentences that are written that are verbose and confusing, and how a simple rewrite to solve the problem is clearly obvious to me. And guess what, reviewers do not see everything the first time, or even the second.
If writing is a problem, read a style manual and a technical writing guide. Learn the basic rules (e.g. one to twelve written, spaces before units, capital first letter for days and months, avoid unnecessary abbreviations and contractions, correct unit symbols). Always use run the spelling and grammar checker. ALWAYS self check I mean ALWAYS.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
I give my texts to random people and appreciate their suggestions, be they content or style based.
- Steve
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
If nothing else, use this as an opportunity to improve your technical writing skills. Most engineers, young and old, could benefit from improvement in this area.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Seriously though, this is something nearly every person on this forum has had to deal with before. It comes down to your definition of what is the threshhold of acceptability of these issues in the workplace. I think it was said by another poster, these people feed on being able to parade their subordinates around in mad little circles. If you're able, ramp up your domineering side, and counter some of the bullying. Just my 2 cents.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Chaos Creates Cash
Then update the reports with a smile on your face.
Mike
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
I spent a year or two where my main task was checking other folks work. Sometimes there'd be a lot of red pencil on them. Sometimes they'd have to go round the loop quite a few times - usually because people hadn't incorporated the changes properly or had introduced new errors or sometimes I maybe hadn't been quite clear in what I wanted. Occasionally I changed my mind on something after I'd seen it properly incorporated.
Are you sure your reports are really that good when you give them to him? I've received drawings from experienced folks that were shocking and ended up covered in red. I've got drawings from interns that barely had any. Just because you've been doing it a while doesn't mean you're doing it the way it needs to be done for your current 'customer'.
As a contractor, you get paid the same to erase something and re-write it as you did to write it the first time so what's the issue?
What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Eventually he'll figure out how you should be managed. If he doesn't then that's his loss not yours. Enjoy his money. enjoy life. Don't let him get to you.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
My suggestion is learn how to manage your manager and take responsibility for your own actions
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
The OP shouldn't be thinking in terms of PE. The licensing requirements have really jaded this profession severely. I spent several years dealing with the anguish of my boss so I could take some stupid test that I passed first time, and I'm still waiting on the benefits of my PE.
But I recommend the OP have 10-20K saved up or other prospects before he does anything that could get him fired and not qualify for unemployment assistance. IF you are lucky, like I was, you will be laid off for the economy. It was the best day of my life for the past 5 years.
One might argue "but he's learning more" That's also B.S. I learned 10X more under a previous boss in 25% of the time because we got along and had a mutual respect.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Sorry, taking a sicky when somebody shouts at you does not solve the problem, it will still be there when you go back to work (if the job is still there). Behaving in a tit for tat manner is unprofessional and what I would expect from my six year old.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Next time you are in front him look at part of his face with a very worried look. Appear not to be listening to him Ask him directly if he is OK. Grab his wrist and feel his pulse shaking your head. Let him know you studied medicine before becoming an engineer. That you are worried as his eye is twitching and you relative died recently from stress.
Phone his wife and tell her you are concerned about his mental health.
Let others fight your battle. you are elaving anyway so waht do you care. Have some fun.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Hydrology, Drainage Analysis, Flood Studies, and Complex Stormwater Litigation for Atlanta and the South East - http://www.campbellcivil.com
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Who said anything about solving a problem? The damage is done already. As long as you are being PAID for sick days then take them. I highly doubt that your six year old has to put up with the same abuse as the OP.... well that's just my ASSUMPTION:)
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
ANY profession where years of experience is your qualification is a dead profession and doesn't represent the capitalist market at all if you've bothered to LOOK at the economy ever.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
I don't think giving advice based on your own bitterness towards your previous employer is really of any benefit.
I used to work for a Japanese company and my Japanese boss once gave me a bit of advice from their culture which I find to be of great value.
"It takes two to fight"
Maybe that can help you.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
It may take two to fight, but if you don't defend yourself, it's not a fight, it's an azzwhupping.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
"If he yells at or offends you, call in sick the next day"
I thought that this advice was given on the assumption that as a contractor the OP wouldn't be paid for sick days.
As you have now clarified that the expectation is that the OP will be paid, your advice is basically a recommendation to STEAL.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
I cannot comment very intelligently on your situation because I have never worked for an unreasonable boss so perhaps I do not understand your dilemma. I believe you have received some very good advice and some very bad advice so far on this forum.
My suggestion to you is to examine the documents you present for your boss's approval. If his criticism is unfair, tell him so, in no uncertain terms. If his criticism is valid, do not be afraid to admit to that either. If he is any kind of a man, he will respect you for it.
Strive to improve the quality of your work, but if you are convinced that there is nothing you can do to satisfy his requirements, then look for another job.
BA
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
There is no place in the work place for bullies. Go over his head but be prepared to accept the consequences. Your future there is doomed in any event but you might get some action that would prevent it happening again to some other poor unfortunate person.
As a contractor you have mobility but you dont have the protection that an employee may have. You also have self respect. Your call whether you stand up for yourself and tell the boss he is a bully. Bullies are cowards that is why they behave as they do. It is to make up for their own inferiority.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
The OP made a case that the boss was somewhat demanding in the quality he demands and perhaps nit-picky.
However, that in itself is far from bullying.
Has the boss threatened you?
Has he insulted you or the like?
Certainly doesn't sound like he singles you out for this behavior.
Maybe it's more a case of a micro-manager than a bully.
What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
The original posting was from someone who is "stressed out". If the poster is totally incapable the best advice would be to show them the door. A reality check that may enable them to change their career and do something else.
What ever the facts the matter needs to be brought to head and not left to fester.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Best advice is from BAretired.
RE: How can I deal with a harrassing boss
Im sure he would have got rid of you if you were that bad, but it seems to me that ypu need to take heed of what he says a little more, I can assure you he does not want to be red penning reports time after time.