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Passive Voice
2

Passive Voice

Passive Voice

(OP)
A)  
On April 19th, 2010, a site inspection was performed at Project Site X by My Company Inc.  Many deficiencies were identified.

B)  
On April 19th, 2010, My Company Inc. performed a site inspection at Project Site X.  MCI identified many deficiencies.


I was always taught B in High School and Undergrad, then got out into the work force and was told by my superiors to scrap B and go with A.  Then a couple of years later, I went back to get my Masters degree, took an engineering specific grad level technical communication class, and asked the question specifically.  They said, "B, don't ever use A, your old bosses were wrong."  I graduate, go to work for another firm, and work seven years for them during which time they prohibit me from doing 'B' in reports and instead require 'A.'

Well now I've recently embarked on the adventure of owning my own consulting company, so I can write reports any way I darn well please, so I'm considering switching back to 'B.'

Thoughts?

 

Hydrology, Drainage Analysis, Flood Studies, and Complex Stormwater Litigation for Atlanta and the South East - http://www.campbellcivil.com

RE: Passive Voice

personally i'd've thought they were both much the same, B looks a little more formal (= legal).  the problem people might have with A is that in the 2nd sentence, "MCI" is understood (as identifying the deficiencies) but in B it is clearly (repetitively ?) stated.

i think your bosses had their opinion, and now you're your own boss, you can have your own !

RE: Passive Voice

There's a bit of a move afoot in certain industries (and government) to move away from passive and toward active voice.  Makes for fewer words, and some believe more clarity.

It is nothing but a stylistic difference.  Religious/cultural, almost.

As rb1957 says, here's your chance to move the trend in whatever direction you think appropriate.

Hg

Eng-Tips policies:  FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies

RE: Passive Voice

To eliminate repetition and further reduce "wordiness", how about;
"On April 19th, 2010, My Company Inc. identified many deficiencies during a site inspection at Project Site X."

RE: Passive Voice

(OP)
"To eliminate repetition and further reduce "wordiness", how about..."


Clearly I'd go with something like that.  I just wrote those up to make sure we all were on the same page regarding the active/passive voicing question.

Thanks for the input.

Hydrology, Drainage Analysis, Flood Studies, and Complex Stormwater Litigation for Atlanta and the South East - http://www.campbellcivil.com

RE: Passive Voice

I find that the choice of passive or active voice is all about where you want to place the emphasis.  The subject of the sentence usually garners the emphasis.

==> On April 19th, 2010, a site inspection was performed at Project Site X by My Company Inc.
The subject is the site inspection.

==> On April 19th, 2010, My Company Inc. performed a site inspection at Project Site X.  MCI identified many deficiencies.
The subject is My Company, Inc.

I would choose the voice which best represents who/what I want to be the subject:  My Company or the site inspection.
 

Good Luck
--------------
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

RE: Passive Voice

I find myself always writing in the passive voice.  Then I let it sit for a day and start editing.  What leaves here is almost always in the active voice.  I don't know why I don't do it "right" the first time, but I never do.  I find it painful to read the stuff that I've written and sent out without the soak period.

Stuff that I've written for publication (with an editor) always comes back more active than I wrote it.  It also comes back easier to read and follow.

A much as I hate editors (they always like the taste of something better after they've peed on it), I hate it even more when they're right and their changes improve my work.

Do it however it will feel best for you to read in a month.

David

RE: Passive Voice

I was taught "A" in school as well. In my work I have not encountered an insistence on passive voice. Over use of passive voice will not impress any readers and will probably put them to sleep.

The biggest problem, I think, is that to maintain consistent grammar you must continue to use passive voice once your have started. That will lead to excessive wordiness and a very boring read. You are the boss now. You call it.

Alternative: The decision to use passive voice can be made by the person who is the boss.  

RE: Passive Voice

To some extent, the drawing standards etc. for my industry require passive voice.

I tend to copy this across to other technical writing I do.

I had a nice big debate with JSeagull about this a while back.

I seem to recall writing my science reports in more of a passive voice at school, and being hounded to do so.  

I find active to come across as informal - even amateurish or sloppy.

However, when I get involved in actual detailed assembly instructions or the like, then I go active.

Then again, I don't recall it ever being called active or passive, so why believe me.



 

Posting guidelines FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm? (probably not aimed specifically at you)
What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?

RE: Passive Voice

I agree with the other contributors that this is as much a matter of preference and style rather than hard substance.

Passive voice tends to emphasise the verb itself and the "receiver" of the verb, whereas active voice tends to emphasise the "doer"; for example:

Active voice: "MCI found many defects" tends to emphasise the fact that it was MCI that found the defects; it may imply a corollary that another inspector may NOT have found the defects. This would be a particularly appropriate construct where the identity of the "agent" is significant.

Passive voice: "Many defects were found" tends to emphasise the fact that defects were found, and in my view reduces the implication that the identity of the inspector was material in whether defects were identified.

There is a common view that active voice is "snappier" and clearer than passive voice. I don't think this is necessarily true. For example:

Passive voice: "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few."

Active voice: I won't even attempt to better that!

The main thing for me is that you stick with one or the other when writing a piece; avoid mixing active and passive; e.g.

"The site was inspected by MCI on Friday 13th. MCI found many defects."

This is often the reason that organisations mandate passive (or active) voice in all reports - to ensure that all reports which are written "by committee" have a consistency of style and clarity. (Consistency of tense - past tense vs. present tense - is even more important in my view.)

RE: Passive Voice

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I would favor CorBlimeyLimey's wording.  I believe if you say the same thought in fewer words without loss of understanding you have achieved a much better result.

Maybe the example is trivial, but if you extend that into lengthy reports, you'll find that you'll lose the reader where the report is too long versus a more concise report.

So I favor a more active approach and one that is more to the point.

RE: Passive Voice

The active voice forces the writer to construct shorter sentences.  There is nothing more sleep-making than overlong sentences IMO.

RE: Passive Voice

I would have commented, but jhardy1 has said it all for me.

RE: Passive Voice

We had an attack on our company web site a year or so ago.  The report on the event was written entirely in active voice and read like an adventure story.
 

- Steve

RE: Passive Voice

(OP)
"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few."

That'd be this:

Never in the field of human conflict had so many owed so few so much.

Right?

You take the noun after the 'by' and make it the subject, and the noun after the 'to' and make it the object.  Or is the "Never in the blah blah blah" confusing the issue?

Hydrology, Drainage Analysis, Flood Studies, and Complex Stormwater Litigation for Atlanta and the South East - http://www.campbellcivil.com

RE: Passive Voice

I suspect there may be a cultural aspect to this. British speakers seem to more frequently use passive voice.

RE: Passive Voice

@Compositepro:

Passive is common here as well.  In the last revision to our standard specifications we changed from passive voice (in place for the better part of a century) to active voice and a lot of people didn't like it.

I think as an undergrad I was taught to use passive in technical reports.

I like active voice, imperative mood for specifications.  "Do this, do that."  These days I don't feel very strongly about which way to go in reports.  I like the idea of fewer words, but on the other hand if every single sentence starts with "we" or the company name, that gets irritating too.

Hg

Eng-Tips policies:  FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies

RE: Passive Voice

Based on where it gets used on the drawings, my issues is that drawings - at least as I was taught in the UK and per ASME stds - should give the requirement - they should not normally say how to meet that requirement.

This is where 'active' falls down for me, you implicitly tell them how to do something most of the time.  Often there is more than one way to skin a cat, I want which ever one gives me best value - normally I don't care which.

For example - it's common for areas on a part to be free of paint or whatever surface finish is applied.  My preference is just to identify the area and state 'SHALL BE FREE OF finish".  This is the end result you want and what you can inspect.

Many other folk like to say things like "MASK IDENTIFIED SURFACES BEFORE FINISHING".  How do you verify that they indeed masked those areas, rather than maybe machining after finishing?  Do you really care?  For some situations I've had vendors that wanted to machine certain features after finishing because it was easier than masking.

I tend to extrapolate this to written requirements and the like - specify the end result you want - not how you think it might be achieved.

Obviously there are some occasional gray/grey areas but the above argument, combined with it being how I was taught, convinces mesmile.

Posting guidelines FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm? (probably not aimed specifically at you)
What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?

RE: Passive Voice

   The Underground Grammarian, the late Richard Mitchell wrote about this subject.  His books, including Less Than Words Can Say, are online on the site.

   Active voice is briefer than passive voice.

   A point Richard Mitchell makes is that passive voice eliminates the actor from the description.

Quote:

A mistake was made.

Quote:

I made a mistake.

   This can be significant.  Passive voice is harmless if you use it carefully, but you might want to read carefully.

               JHG

RE: Passive Voice

As a geotechnical engineer getting his start under one of Canada'a best, passive voice was the way forward - and not only that but third person.  I agree it is a matter of style but the "active" voice, too, in my view, makes things seem a bit too informal.  

RE: Passive Voice

Passive is common in larger companies where reports are reviewed by senior engineers or there is a heirarchy of review.  There are two reasons for this...first, if the report is signed by more than one person, it should be written in a 3rd person omnicient sense, which is more conducive to the passive voice.  Secondly, it's easier to put the legal weasel words in so it makes the lawyers and insurance companies happier.

The rule we typically follow is that if it is a "letter" report of a few pages and a signature at the end, we use an active voice approach.  If it is a formal report (cover letter, table of contents, etc.) is is usually written in 3rd person and the passive voice will prevail, though there's usually a mixture.  The cover letter is written in 1st person.

RE: Passive Voice

You can have MS Word highlight the passive voice, and it will offer a correction (sometimes).

______________________________________________________________________________
This is normally the space where people post something insightful.

RE: Passive Voice

CajunCenturion:

Quote:

==> On April 19th, 2010, a site inspection was performed at Project Site X by My Company Inc.
The subject is the site inspection.

==> On April 19th, 2010, My Company Inc. performed a site inspection at Project Site X.  MCI identified many deficiencies.
The subject is My Company, Inc.

But the real subject are the deficiencies:
Many deficiencies were identified at Project site X during an April 19th 2010 site inspection by
MCI (My Company Inc.).

 

JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

RE: Passive Voice

==> But the real subject are the deficiencies:
Perhaps, perhaps not.  That's something we cannot know from what the OP has provided.  Only the author knows where the emphasis should be.

If the deficiencies are where the emphasis should be, then yes, it should be subject and passive voice would make sense.  I think that's in keeping with my suggestion to choose the voice which best represents who/what you want to be the subject to be.

Good Luck
--------------
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

RE: Passive Voice

I believe that passive voice is most appropriate for inspection reports because, as others have pointed out, the emphasis is on the condition of the facility not on the consultant who noted the condition.  Sometimes it can be ok to use the active voice with the name of the company, i.e. MCI has completed it's review of...  But never say "we" and "our" as in "we observed..." and "our recommendations are...".  I always get out the red pencil for those.

Nice visual Zdas04!  I'll think about that next time I review a report.

RE: Passive Voice

graybeach...

Quote:

MCI has completed it's review of...  

This is the way I was taught as well (large company, EVERY report got reviewed by a senior person); however, grammatically the form is incorrect.  It should read "MCI's [highligh]representative[/highlight] has completed a review of...".  MCI is an entity.  It can't "do" anything.  After I became one of those reviewing senior engineers, I routinely bled on such reports, taking out mixtures of personal pronouns in third person, personifications of entities, and verious other grammatical anomalies.

It is unfortunate, but many of the reports I have reviewed over the years had to be re-drafted after grammar and spelling review, so that I could then give it an appropriate technical review.

RE: Passive Voice

Graybeach, Ron...you guys are too tough.  My reports would never pass muster.

RE: Passive Voice

I guess I should proofread my posts a bit better....two typos in the last one!  Sorry hokie66...I can't get my reports past me either!

RE: Passive Voice

I grew up with that kind of scrutiny as Ron describes - perfection and this was before you could go to the word processer and change the word as easy as pie. . .

RE: Passive Voice

"change the word as easy as pie"

Is "easy" being used as an adverb in this phrase?  Should it be "easily"?

- Steve

RE: Passive Voice

I don't think so.  "As easy as pie" is an expression which means easily.

RE: Passive Voice

I forgot my smiley, so here it is winky smile

- Steve

RE: Passive Voice

I asked a few friends and a total of 11 thinks that as easy as pie is correctly used but one thinks as you!

RE: Passive Voice

What's wrong with personifying a corporation?
Sort of the 'editorial we'?
Anyway, legally the corporation is a 'person', isn't it?

winky smile


 

Jay Maechtlen
http://www.laserpubs.com/techcomm

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