"Damp Squids"
"Damp Squids"
(OP)
TV producers, desperate to fill 2-300channels with something besides re-runs of just about everything ever made whatever the quality. discovered the bottomless well of list making:
"The 10/20/50/100 top actors/films/pop songs/comedy/drama/quizes/holiday destinations/etc."
And "as voted for by you-the-viewer/Daily Mail readers/Sun page 3 viewers/Guardian Columnists etc"
The cost is simple and they spice it up with C-list celebrities who act as talking heads but often have little or no obvious relevance to the list in question beyond a good agent and a low fee.
Well, for want of anything better to do, and in line with the many meaningless things Universities do today, Oxford has compiled its list of:
"The ten most irritating phrases"
Here is their list:
The top ten most irritating phrases:
1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science
(http ://www.tel egraph.co. uk/news/ne wstopics/d ebates/339 4545/Oxfor d-compiles -list-of-t op-ten-irr itating-ph rases.html)
This being Eng-Tips, I know we can do better.
"The 10/20/50/100 top actors/films/pop songs/comedy/drama/quizes/holiday destinations/etc."
And "as voted for by you-the-viewer/Daily Mail readers/Sun page 3 viewers/Guardian Columnists etc"
The cost is simple and they spice it up with C-list celebrities who act as talking heads but often have little or no obvious relevance to the list in question beyond a good agent and a low fee.
Well, for want of anything better to do, and in line with the many meaningless things Universities do today, Oxford has compiled its list of:
"The ten most irritating phrases"
Here is their list:
The top ten most irritating phrases:
1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science
(http
This being Eng-Tips, I know we can do better.





RE: "Damp Squids"
"The ten most irritating things Managers say."
"The ten most popular excuses for the project failing"
So I'll accept responses in those categories or favourite irritating expressions at work with their categories.
Just so we can keep it organised. Who knows, maybe we will produce some FAQs.
Under the 10 most irritating things managers say is, for example, "Let's run it up the flag and see who salutes it", "Baby steps" and so on.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: "Damp Squids"
Here is one for starters:
1. You're fired!!!!
RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
How about a list of mutant phrases that have lost both meaning and origin.
1. Slot Chit (originally Slop Chit?)
2. Not my end of ship (originally part of ship?)
3. Damp squid (squib?)
u.s.w.
A.
RE: "Damp Squids"
1. Hopefully.
Non-words that grate:
1. Preventative.
Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA
RE: "Damp Squids"
Awfully good
Supposibly
Dan
www.eltronresearch.com
Dan's Blog
RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
Matt Lorono
CAD Engineer/ECN Analyst
Silicon Valley, CA
Lorono's SolidWorks Resources
Co-moderator of Solidworks Yahoo! Group
and Mechnical.Engineering Yahoo! Group
RE: "Damp Squids"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
(It was a Temptation, I'll admit, as being so often the recipient of corrections, that I long to correct others with exactly the right amount of shock and condensation.*)
(*O.K., Condescension).
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: "Damp Squids"
I tend to find it's a phrase which has a silent suffix of either "but I don't give a toss what you think" or "but I am so clueless that you might be speaking in a different language"
----------------------------------
If we learn from our mistakes I'm getting a great education!
RE: "Damp Squids"
E.g.
"It's not that you're wrong"
Translation
"You are wrong"
RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
1. "Baked-in"
2. "So what you're saying is..." followed by repeating what I had just said verbatim.
RE: "Damp Squids"
when they haven't said anything yet to explain what they meant by that.
Usually I wouldn't have cared what they said, let alone, what they meant by it.
2. "Like, you know..." makes the veins in my forehead pop out!!!
3. "That being said,..."
"That being said, I mean, like, you know"
Rerig
RE: "Damp Squids"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
I liked the verbal 'ticks'. It gave me the image of a bit of bad language sinking its head into some warm, soft, hidden part of your skin, feeding off of your blood, and growing until it got HUGE and noticeable to everyone.
"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"
RE: "Damp Squids"
I have to go back to Zeusfaber #3, it should indeed be damp squib.
h
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squib_(explosive)
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RE: "Damp Squids"
Joe
SW Office 2008 SP5.0
P4 3.0Ghz 3GB
ATI FireGL X1
RE: "Damp Squids"
Similar to how zombies and vampires spread.
Matt Lorono
CAD Engineer/ECN Analyst
Silicon Valley, CA
Lorono's SolidWorks Resources
Co-moderator of Solidworks Yahoo! Group
and Mechnical.Engineering Yahoo! Group
RE: "Damp Squids"
Long story short...
usually means endless droning about unimportant details, told out of sequence, with complete disregard to its relevance to the point of the story.
"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"
RE: "Damp Squids"
See the link in the opening post for why this thread is headed this way.... it is one of the examples collected.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: "Damp Squids"
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RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
No more things should be presumed to exist than are absolutely necessary - William of Occam
RE: "Damp Squids"
"We're building a framework that will anable us to quickly achieve [whatever the task is]..."
Both effectively translate to, "We haven't started your silly task yet and we'll get around to it when we're good and ready, so stop asking or you'll still be waiting for it when The Rapture arrives."
Having typed those, I gotta go puke now.
Good on ya,
Goober Dave
RE: "Damp Squids"
I actually used it a few months ago and nearly shot myself afterwards. In fact I'm resisting reaching for the trigger right now.
KENAT,
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RE: "Damp Squids"
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which is actually the SMALLEST change that a quantized system can make.
Cheers
Greg Locock
SIG:Please see FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.
RE: "Damp Squids"
i.e. we need a miracle (or a scapegoat) and you guys got elected.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: "Damp Squids"
Although the common misuse of Quantum Jump (or Leap) is as you say, I've also had it explained to me (by a scientist type) that the term can be correct if it is applied to a sudden or abrupt change, rather than a large change.
RE: "Damp Squids"
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...any type of communication from HR
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pharmaceutical blah blah claim claim blah blah... "consult your doctor"
anything someone who works in mold remediation will tell you if the word "toxic" is mentioned.
we're all on the same team here on this project....(followed by them erronously pointing out how your behaivor is against the team)
RE: "Damp Squids"
Mike
RE: "Damp Squids"
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RE: "Damp Squids"
"Organic Growth"
I'm not sure even managers know what they mean with these two popular examples from the Management speak dictionary.
But one phrase that really, really [b]really[/b[ gets up my nose, popular with fight announcers and moronic compares, "Give it up for..."
Where did this come from?
Whatever happened to "Show your appreciation please", " a round of applause please," or even (passably) "Put your hands together for..." but "Give it up for..."? Ugh!
Let's hope its a passing fad like "China Syndrome", I mean, who uses that any more?
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: "Damp Squids"
Matt Lorono
CAD Engineer/ECN Analyst
Silicon Valley, CA
Lorono's SolidWorks Resources
Co-moderator of Solidworks Yahoo! Group
and Mechnical.Engineering Yahoo! Group
RE: "Damp Squids"
Two that I just heard recently at separate companies having layoffs:
"Workforce realignment" - They aligned it, then needed to re-do that task? Sounded to me as though someone didn't "align" their workforce correctly in the first place.
"Logisctical restructuring" - Logic would dictate that a manager who made "logistical" into a word should be the first one "restructured"!
"If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe." -- Abraham Lincoln
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RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
I agree with both of these, very annoying:
"it's not like it's brain surgery here..." (Substitute for "rocket science")
But, even more teeth grindingly annoying, we had a manager that said:
"It's not brain science"!!!!!?????
RE: "Damp Squids"
I haven't heard At this moment in time for a long time. It is management speak. Engineers are more economical and tend to use now.
RE: "Damp Squids"
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RE: "Damp Squids"
Its the current favorite here.
"We are realigning to better meet our future goals"
Posted after a recent layoff
The sayings which bother me are any containing the word synergy. Office Space and Dilbert come to mind every time I hear it.
RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
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RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
We have a Quality Engineer that just LOVES to use those.
"A Designer knows that he has achieved Perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away" - Antoine de Saint-Exupry
RE: "Damp Squids"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
In my vocabulary, if a problem is going to take 4 people and 3 months to investigate root causes and how to fix it, that is not 'low hanging fruit' or 'an opportunity'...that is a 'problem'.
"A Designer knows that he has achieved Perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away" - Antoine de Saint-Exupry
RE: "Damp Squids"
Velocity, as in we need to increase our product development velocity.
It's not wrong it's just using fancy terms when you don't need one. Unless they really mean that they want to increase speed in the relevant direction (which is probably true), but I doubt half the people saying it know the distinction between speed and velocity.
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RE: "Damp Squids"
When I hear that I think of all the exposed fruit that the animals have gnawed on and the insects have spoiled. I chuckle out load every time I hear that phrase.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's the questions that drive us"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RE: "Damp Squids"
Nother favourite is "Organic Growth" whatever that means or is intended to mean, and "Synergistic" ... grrrr!
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: "Damp Squids"
Empower is another one.
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RE: "Damp Squids"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
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RE: "Damp Squids"
Hg
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RE: "Damp Squids"
http://
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's the questions that drive us"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RE: "Damp Squids"
Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies
RE: "Damp Squids"
Sort of like "The devil is in the details". The devil is pretty universally considered a bad entity that we'd like to avoid. So why do we say this to imply that details are important? (unless of course the person that you are encouraging to be meticulous happens to be a satanic worshipper).
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RE: "Damp Squids"
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RE: "Damp Squids"
True story:
Lt Col (operator): Ah. So the solution to the problem is to make the radar waves vary their speed with distance from the transmitter."
Capt (engineer): momentary pause ... If you've got a couple of billion dollars handy, Sir, I would be glad to put a team together to research this for you.
The solution was indeed both simple and correct, but the details involved in implementation were a little tricky.
RE: "Damp Squids"
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RE: "Damp Squids"
We can discuss a Single line diagram, and I will say, "we are going to feed these substations at 34.5kV. He will say, "We are going to feed these substations at 34.5kV actually in fact". Voila! It is his thought. I could directly contradict that with the very next sentance and he'll do it again, "actually in fact". Another brilliant idea. I can no longer tell if he is even aware he is doing this.
In a group discussion he will repeat EVERYONE'S statements. The most annoying person I have ever worked with.
It is actually kind of fun to take him in circular arguments, where I can lead him to parrot idiotic conclusions and agree to everything only to lead him back to where we started and try to show him we just wasted an entire hour of four engineer's time. He doesn't seem to notice. There's that metacognition issue again!
Good day,
EEJaime
RE: "Damp Squids"
hahhahahaha!
I also see the following bold statement fairly often in Eng-Tips:
"I am bias"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
Mark Hutton
RE: "Damp Squids"
"touch base"
"heads up"
FOETS

Some days you're the dog.
Some days you're just the hydrant.
RE: "Damp Squids"
"... - so bare with me."
No chance!
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
An annoying saying that I'm giong to add to the tabe is "I don't know what to tell ya". Not only is it always said with "ya" and not "you", but it never seems to end there; whomever admitted complete ignorance about the topic at hand, merely moments before mind you, always seems to have a 5 page speech swirling around in their mind and further elaborates it to you for the next 20 minutes. Well, apparently, you DID know what to tell me. Liar.
RE: "Damp Squids"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
"Whatever".
Very poplar with the young (under 21?), it is used when there is something they don't agree with but don't want to argue about and they're gonna do what they're gonna do anyway.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: "Damp Squids"
"Good to know you got shoes to wear when you find the floor." - Robert Hunter
RE: "Damp Squids"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
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RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
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RE: "Damp Squids"
Do you ever wonder why a sub-par performance is good for golf but bad for everything else? :>)
RE: "Damp Squids"
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'negative growth' and 'negative gains'
Why not call a spade a spade?
What's so wrong with using 'contraction' and 'losses'?
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RE: "Damp Squids"
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
KENAT,
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RE: "Damp Squids"
"Formula One stands on the brink of upheaval"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
Yeah. "Step up to the plate", "take a swing at it", "keeep swing till you hit something", and don't remember to "touch base" once you do. Wow. I never realized that there were so many bloody annoying baseball references in these sayings. We've almost comprised an entire inning already...
Tack on another one. My boss just adopted a very fond obsession with saying "Now we're in the ninth inning stretch!" at the beginning of the meeting wrap up... EVERY wrap up... Without fail. With how he manages to pick up one saying, repeat it a couple hundred times, and then blatantly forget it ever existed, I'm beginning to think he's part parrot.
RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
You are probably right. After hearing this guy enough I catch myself using "What it is" occasionally.
Ed
RE: "Damp Squids"
John
RE: "Damp Squids"
Tell your boss that baseball fans don't stretch in the ninth inning. That's too late. The middle of the seventh inning is customary. But then he probably likes his phrase because he invented it.
RE: "Damp Squids"
Similarly we hear "Duck tape" rather than "Duct tape".
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: "Damp Squids"
KENAT,
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What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?
RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
A long-time-ago and far-far-away... I worked as the lead USAF engineer at a Korean-Air aircraft maintenance depot in Pusan (Ok, Busan) ROK.
I had the privilage of working "shoulder-to-shoulder' with the somewhat inexperienced KAL Engineers. These guys were well educated and technically competant... but had relatively little exposure to the "real-world" of broken aircraft in need-of-fixin'.
The guys understood basic technical English, very well... but I had to re-learn english to be effective with them and enhance their understanding of technical situations.
HOWEVER, occasionally I would unintentionally throw colorful abbreviations or "language zingers" at them... and get this utterly puzzled look back as they tried to translate the meaning.
After a few months... and we were very comfortable with each-other... the guys DEMANDED that I explain these sayings and abbreviations in simple detail... so they could get the full magnitude of what I had just said. It was actually a challenge and re-learning experience for me... I had so many of these "expressions" that I was unaware of how much I depended on them, daily, to express myself, emotions, situations, technical concepts, etc. I soon appreciated the hillarity of their observations during my "fumbling explanations". Try explaining these in simple terms... I dare your...
AFU, BFH, BBFH, FIGMO, KIS, KISS (etc)
Shit's-gonna-hit-the-fan...
All dressed-up and no-place-to-go...
Lipstick on a Pig...
Not only NO, but HELL NO...
Help them "get-to-know-the-ropes..."
crock-of-shit, sack-of-shit...
plus lots of good-ones my esteemed collegues have already mentioned in this thread.
Note: a few actually made it into formal reports, which is how I got my nom-de-guerre from the QA NCOs: BF Hammer
Regards, Wil Taylor
RE: "Damp Squids"
Is a nautical term dating back to when ships had a lot of rope rigging used with the sales.
New sailors had to 'get-to-know-the-ropes' to be able to do their job.
This phrase entered the English dictionary as a phrase meaning 'learning how do do a new job/task'.
There you go, easy
KENAT,
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What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?
RE: "Damp Squids"
You got it (except it's sails... not sales)!
I also learned the fine art of flight-line cussing from a rather dynamic NCO... many times I had to "soften" my explantion when I spouted some really BAAAAD language... ILO teaching the guys the worst-of-the-worst of the english language (although I think they eventually took my soft-sell as a sign to do some off-hour "language research").
Regards, Wil Taylor
RE: "Damp Squids"
KENAT,
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RE: "Damp Squids"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
I'm sorry; did I say that out loud?
RE: "Damp Squids"
RE: "Damp Squids"
Why can't we just talk about the friggin issue?
On another one - imagine if you will me, laughing my ass off one evening while watching Eddie Issard describe Jesus doing "Big Arms" at the last supper, and then trying to remain composed in a meeting of all the company brass the next day when the manager sitting in front of me did an amazing impression of "Big Arms" while saying "We must get our arms around this!" Just the picture of that manager in the royal blue outfit was enough to sent me over. I was nearly excused from the meeting.
RE: "Damp Squids"
Why do I keep hearing that around here?
RE: "Damp Squids"
"You don't do that when someone's just given you a gift horse in the mouth"
- Steve
RE: "Damp Squids"
Then I thought - in its simplest form, rocket science is about as simple and fundamental as it gets. It's mechanics that you learn at the age of 14. Ignoring details like gravity varying with altitude, variable payload as fuel burns, etc, it's pretty easy. F=ma.
Of course, the devil's in the detail.
John
RE: "Damp Squids"
How many of our problems could be avoided if a few people just considered simple, basic science before decisions were made...
old field guy
RE: "Damp Squids"
"We need to sit down about this..."
"You, me and him will sit down and sort this out"
Apparently no one discuses anything any more, simply sits down on them.
RE: "Damp Squids"
We also have "control our own destiny" and "eat the elephant", which always makes me chuckle. I picture a pride of lions chowing down on an elephant growling and snarling the whole the time and wonder how much snarling there will be on the project.
There was a great Dilbert with the pointy-haired boss saying to Alyce "I want to dialog with you about your current project" and her freaking out with fist of death that dialog wasn't a verb.
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"Run it up the flag pole!"
Possibly with "And see who salutes"
"Drill Down"
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I can't stand dialog used as a verb. Verbing weirds nouns.
One of my favorite Dilberts is where the Pointy Haired Boss suggests a problem be dealt with on "a going forward basis." and Dilbert thanks him for ruling out time travel, which is more useful then he usually is. I swear that if I ever hear a boss use that phrase I'll use Dilbert's response.
-Kirby
Kirby Wilkerson
Remember, first define the problem, then solve it.