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Self Esteem
3

Self Esteem

Self Esteem

(OP)
What advice can I give to the young people today that I believe can help them live a better life because it is based on my experience. I barley graduated high school because I found it boring but I stayed in because I loved playing baseball and football. When I graduated I really had no real life skills but I did have a lot of self esteem because I was quite good in athletics. I went to work at Douglas Aircraft and was put to work making form blocks and stretch dies within a month I was quite good at it. Within three months I joined the Marine Corps and I loved boot camp and the discipline of it all. I was assigned to Marine Corps Base, 29 Palms CA. 1st AAA-AW Battalion for the next 21 months. While there the Battalion decided to hold a competitive event consisting of setups, pushups run the 440, fire the grease gun, 50 Cal machine gun, the Browning automatic rifle, and get a rifle grenade in a 55 gal drum from 50 yards out. I told a friend I was going to win that in my class (Private and PFC) I did win in my class and was designated "Outstanding Individual Marine". They gave me a medal and my name was engraved on a trophy Plaque to be maintained in the administration office. I never went to see It! From there I got out, learned Refrigeration and Air Conditioning eventually went to work for the County of Los Angeles where I worked my way up from a service mechanic to Application Engineer to Supervisor To the Highest technical Position of Craft head of Steamfitters and Refrigeration fitters I acquired three degrees along the way with honors was a member of Local# 250, U.A.. I tell you this not to brag but to let you know It was a result of self-esteem (a belief in yourself) I found this on the web:

Self-esteem is defined as "belief in oneself" or "undue pride in oneself" (Webster's Third New International Dictionary,1986). It is also a student's awareness that he or she is a
person of worth or value simply because he or she is a human being. Self-esteem is recognizing that because one is treated with respect by others, one is worthy of respect. Finally, it is
a sense of self-confidence resulting from successful completion of attempted tasks. Do yourself a favor, just believe you can and you will succeed>

 

RE: Self Esteem

Whether you think you can or you can't, you are correct.

RE: Self Esteem

2
There are plenty of people who think they can but they can not.  A trip to Guitar Center on a Saturday afternoon will prove that.

RE: Self Esteem

RE: Self Esteem

"It was a result of self-esteem" and a healthy dose of ability.
Part of self-esteem is not to let failures destroy you. Learn your limitations.

RE: Self Esteem

Mr. Tick, I like your poster. We also have a GC here but I always go to the local drum shop, because it is such a pleasure to deal with people who are honest and really know what they are doing.

RE: Self Esteem


I love the drum jokes.  I've dated two drummers.  You'd think I'd learn after the first one.

But my favorite joke on the list is the NY drummer who goes to Greece. (I won't spoil the punchline)

If I am belly dancing to live drum music, one of my instructions is "Chiftitelli is OK, but don't break out any of that Greek sh!t unless you're prepared to yell out the time signature two measures ahead 7/8, 9/8, 11/8..."

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

RE: Self Esteem

I have to agree that in my career so far I've encountered more people that had too much self esteem, if not out right arrogance, than too little.

However, imok2, if it worked for you good on ya.
 

KENAT,

Have you reminded yourself of FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies recently, or taken a look at posting policies: http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

RE: Self Esteem

Keep Learning.   Its that simple.  When I am sixty years old ... i want to learn like I am 18 still.    

Bart Brejcha    Chicago
DESIGN-ENGINE|EDUCATION
http://www.proetools.com
surfacing and Pro/CABLE training
 

RE: Self Esteem

(OP)
Tick, are you joshing with me or did you miss the point. Please don't tell me to explain!

RE: Self Esteem

But, the ones with the low self-esteem, you probably wouldn't remember "encountering," because they have a tendency to take on the air of the surrounding furniture.

It's a bit more than just learning from your mistakes, it's learning NOT TO FEAR your mistakes.  What many people learn from their mistakes is to not risk making their next mistake, and that's when they turn into wallpaper.  

To rip from Jim Morrison, "Break on through to the other side."  As with the trite, "No Pain, No Gain," you have to risk the pain of rejection, making mistakes, etc., to achieve some level of success.

TTFN

FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies

RE: Self Esteem

There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence.  You don't build confidence without making and learning from a few mistakes.  You also can't foster "self-esteem" in someone by giving them something easy to achieve, since there is little risk.  Successfully overcoming the greater risk is the foundation of confidence.

RE: Self Esteem

IRstuff, I considered that, then thought about the people I've worked with and still think I've known more overconfident people than under.

That said, my manager claims I'm too humble (I know some of you may not believe based on my posts etc.) so perhaps with that perspective some people that are in the 'sweet spot' seem arrogant.

KENAT,

Have you reminded yourself of FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies recently, or taken a look at posting policies: http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

RE: Self Esteem

"Arrogant" is a term used by mediocrities to describe those who rise above.

RE: Self Esteem

The only good losers are those that are used to losing.

There is only one place that count and that is first place.

Second place only make you the first loser across the finish line.

Winning is not everything, it is the only thing.

Hardly the type saying that builds self-esteem unless you come in first place.  I know when I was growing up, my Dad would tell me that losing sucks so get back in the game and get better.  A lot of this self-esteem crap is just liberal mumble jumble from educators and shrinks, such that they don't want to damage a kid's/person's delicate psychic.       

However, everyone motivations are different.  Some folks you need to motivate with a compliment and others with a big stick.  No there is common theme here for encouragement.  So I disagree that a high self esteem is necessarily a good thing.  Violent criminals often have a very high self esteem and react inappropriately when their undue self esteem is threatened.  

In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with being down on yourself and questioning your worth.  It often is a motivation for improving ones self.  Don't fall into the trap that everyone is motivated by the same things that you are.  Isn't diversity a wonderful thing?
 

RE: Self Esteem

I CAN - Confidence.

ONLY I can - Arrogance.

I dont think there is a thin line. I see a very thick line.

if some one does not say the work 'only I' then Tick's definition suits perfectly.   

RE: Self Esteem

Tick--

Thanks, buddy!  That one made it to the corner of the whiteboard in my office upon which I write inspirational sayings!

old field guy

RE: Self Esteem

Our working definition here for arrogance is caring more about being right personally than about getting the correct result.  That kind of arrogance interferes with job performance, learning etc.  A certain amount of humility is, by definition, required for learning to be possible.

Confidence which extends beyond competence is also extremely undesirable, but this character flaw seems to be distinct from arrogance.

RE: Self Esteem

imok2,

The word "I" was used in your first paragraph 24 times. (I, Latin for Ego.) You want to give young people some advice? Instill in them a sense of duty and service which I suspect is the real reason behind your success. Self-esteem needs to be tempered with modesty.  

Warning: your idea of what "live a better life" means will differ from others. It would be interesting to ask the young people what the phrase means to them.

RE: Self Esteem

(OP)
"Quote" The word "I" was used in your first paragraph 24 times. (I, Latin for Ego.) You want to give young people some advice? Instill in them a sense of duty and service which I suspect is the real reason behind your success. Self-esteem needs to be tempered with modesty.  

Warning: your idea of what "live a better life" means will differ from others. It would be interesting to ask the young people what the phrase means to them.

Of course the word I was used 24 times because me was talking about me. My intention for the post was to hopefully inspire other people who may not have the self esteem  they should have and hopefully live a happier life. Boy, I cannot believe the negitive responses this post has created. OK here's my idea of a better life. start with practically nothing, meet the love of your life and after 47 years still be in love, have some kids(boys) who turn out to be successful in their work and your best friends  have grand children (10)who who come by and always kiss me and their grandmother and say they love us and who clean our pool, build a 32 roadster with their tools and some of mine in my garage which I gave them, work , go the community college Etc,etc get the point? Thats my idea of a decent and good life all brought about because I believed in myself along with others who loved me. Maybe I'm taking some of your comments too personnel, If I am it's because I have always believed that if you believe you can you will become the person you really are and of course it should be accomplished by not deminishing others.  

RE: Self Esteem

imok2, it sounds like you've achieved a lot in life and I could happily accept your definition of a decent life.

Frankly what you put doesn't come across as particularly arrogant, to me at least.

However, while there are I'm sure many with a lack of self esteem, within Engineering I've encopuntered more that I would consider at the other end of the spectrum.

Maybe it's a glass half full thing.

KENAT,

Have you reminded yourself of FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies recently, or taken a look at posting policies: http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

RE: Self Esteem

I think it is just one of those irregular adjectives, conjugated as follows:

I am self-confident, you are a bit of a big-head, he is arrogant.

 

Cheers

Greg Locock

SIG:Please see FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.

RE: Self Esteem

Sorry imok2, I completely misunderstood you. I thought you were looking for advice on mentoring/giving talks to young people about self-esteem. The point was that, instead of talking about all your accomplishments item by item (which would come across as having a big ego), temper it by instilling a sense of duty and service. About the "live a better life" comment, rather than defining it from your standpoint, have your audience tell you what they think "live a better life" means.

RE: Self Esteem

I hate myself for reading this post.

Tunalover

RE: Self Esteem

(OP)
quote "I hate myself for reading this post".
See that's what I mean, you need to improve your self esteem and become happy like me LOL

RE: Self Esteem

Not self-esteem, self-respect. One implies unconditional love, which is fine in its place.  The other encourages esteem born of action and responsibility to self, others, the community and world.~A Writer Afoot
 

RE: Self Esteem

"...have some kids(boys) who turn out to be successful in their work..."

I've got three girls - oh well, so much for a happy life.  I guess I'm doomed...


If you "heard" it on the internet, it's guilty until proven innocent. - DCS

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