A man was driving late at night into Wales from London and was speeding, just a bit, and was stopped in Wales by a policeman (now image a very strong Welsh accent):
"You were travelling a bit fast there weren't you sir?"
"If you say so, officer." replied the motorist cautiously.
"Well, sir, what would you do if Mr. Fog came down?" he heard the policeman say.
"I'd put my foot on Mr. Brake." replied the driver (who was actually a comic returning from a gig).
"I'll say that again," said the patient policeman, " what would you do if mist or fog came down?"

The reason I relate this story is that while the Welsh policeman may make the distinction between mist and fog, few motorists appear to be that discriminating. The Eskimos may have 50 or more words for snow and though they cannot match that, the Brits still have quite a few for mist or fog; pea-souper, smog, fog, mist, miasma (bad air, Malpas in Cornwall).

The last pea-souper I ever experienced, they seem to be a thing of the past with the passing of the clean air act, was when I was nowt but a lad being driven by my Grandpa. I recall that vsibility was so bad we had to drive at only 2-3mph and as the most ambitious we had (presumably) a long line of cars behind us playing follow my leader. At Guildford the AA HQ used to be located on one of the roundabouts with bot an entrance and an exit onto the roundabout. My Grandfather, reaching what appeared to be the roundabout, forgot about the AA HQ when counting exits and turned in at their entrance, re-emerging onto the roundabout moments later and finding the right exit at last. Every single car following us took the same route. We literally couldn't see much beyond the end of the bonnet (hood) and not even that sometimes. How welcome it was to follow a set of rear lights everywhere... or so thought all those behind us.

However, since then anything more than an occassional spotty mist is a rare event.

The Highway Code says:
"201. You MUST use headlights when visibility is seriously reduced, generally when you cannot see for more than 100 metres (328 feet). You may also use front or rear fog lights but you MUST switch them off when visibility improves (see Rule 211)."

"211. You MUST NOT use front or rear fog lights unless visibility is seriously reduced (see Rule 201) as they dazzle other road users and can obscure your brake lights. You MUST switch them off when visibility improves."

In the UK, having cars fitted with fog lights most motorists must live their entire lives for the opportunity to use them; the least impairment of visibility and they switch them on and then leave them on for the next 4 months.

Certainly, for some of them, the distinction between "mist" and "fog" must be a difficult philosophical concept to grasp but some of them find that, by using their imagination, they can make the definition stretch to include rain, 9/10ths cloud cover and hangovers and, it would seem, night time (a lack of sun).

Peasants.

Being such a rare event many car manufacturers have hedged their bets but fitting not two fog lights but just one. This really is a nuisance because, when approaching a single bright red rear view light it is sometimes a problem to determine if the are just a bit slower than you, a lot slower or stationary (it doesn't matter with motor cycles, they are usually receding lights) and, without two equal intensity lights to observe for separation; increasing separation means they are getting closer or you are to them.

Of course, there is nothing more exciting in the genuine article than driving along at 30mph with ones face pressed to the windscreen and to be overtaken by some damn great Mercedes with full frontal and rear foglights blazing and travelling at about 120mph.

So there we are, has the distinction between mist and fog been lost or what?
What other words are now redundant and why?








 

JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com