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Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions
4

Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

(OP)
I am currently working at a small consulting firm.  I accepted the job offer in February, graduated with my BSCE in May, started working in June, and turned 22 in August.

The work was slow, but interesting at first.  Then, in late July I started being mentored in performing soil-structure analysis.  I started enjoying work a bit more, learned a massive array of excel and FE modeling skills, but then something terrible happened.  The mentor quit (premeditated before i even started working)  leaving me as the only person on a fairly complicated analysis with which I have little or no expertise.

Since then I have been faithfully trudging along, but am without guidance, and much less productive.  I feel trapped in this project, and engineering in general.  I feel sick of the work week, and the unreasonable expectation for me to finish this project on my own.

I think i may have too hastily entered into a full-time position.  I feel that I am immature to commit to this type of work and the hours (45+ a week) it demands. The pay in excellent. However, the thought of continuing like this depresses me to no end.

Skiing is my true passion, engineering my major.  I have been a ski instructor for the past 5 seasons.  I have sought and found several instructor positions for the winter.  However this would mean quitting my job.  (Of course after i have this project somewhat wrapped up).  This also means accepting a near-poverty level of income.  (which I am ok with).

I guess I'm looking to vent a bit, after staring at a goddamned spreadsheet all day.  I want to know two things.

How do you decide if you are truly unhappy with your job/life and it is time to leave?

Also, should I ever want to be an engineer again, perhaps pursue an PE (have my EIT) will I be able to?  How badly would leaving for 2+ years of exploring and soul searching as a skier and/or national park employee damage my ability to return to engineering?

Is there any hope?

  

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

It sounds like you need a change with good reason. I would suggest trying to find another position that will continue your engineering development, unless you are going to be professional skier. Obviously your a conscience individual and should have little trouble finding another company with reasonable expectations.

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

The wise thing to do would be to find a new job with a good mentor.

As far as "finding yourself" goes: don't worry, your "self" will be there when your eyes are open enough to find it.  Learn what dharma means.  You'll learn about yourself by applying yourself.

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

You may live to regret your decision, one way or the other.  It really depends on your personality.

I think you should go the ski instructor route while you can.  Also, you should start looking for another job.  Try looking for something with the National Park Service, BLM or maybe the Forest Service. You also might look for seasonal work with those agencies or others that would leave your winters open.

Money isn't everything.  You could work your ass off and save, only to have some prick on Wall Street take it.  

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Option A- Sacrifice now, enjoy life later
Option B- Enjoy life now, sacrifice later

You just turned 22, with 3 months work experience... having spent ~4yrs in school.  You would have thought some of this soul searching would have happened during that 4yrs.  You feel immature now, will you feel more mature when you hit 25, or after skiing the Streif run at Kitzbuehel?

Only you can answer your first two posed questions.  I think most here have probably bounced from job to job and found an acceptable one on their third employer.  Some more, some less.

AS for the last three questions: Yes, Not much, Yes.

"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."

Have you read FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies to make the best use of these Forums?

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Don't burn any bridges, you might blow out a knee or two skiing.

Good luck,
Latexman

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Talk to your boss about the project...

And welcome to the real world -- 45 hours a week is NO big deal - except to a college kid - which you still might be --at least in your thinking....3 or 4 hours of class - a few hours of cramming for the next test and then PARTY all night.   Been there - done that.

I remember my daughter when she got her first job out of college - her thoughts and my responses ...

   You mean No Spring Break --- correct
   No Xmas break ---- correct
   I have to show up at 8:00 am EVERY morning --- correct
   No summer break --- correct
   Only two weeks off a year ---- correct
   I have to work 40 hours a week minimum --- correct
   I have to listen to my boss ---   correct
   I have to go to bed before mid-night ---- correct
   No bars on Thursday night --- correct

At that point I think she broke down and cried.....  Told her I had been doing it for 30 years!!

So go be a skiing instructor and work out your life goals.  You can always get back into engineering....  I have changed careers and always got back.  Worked in real estate, sales, software programming - always made it back when I wanted to...  I am good engineer and can talk and answer phone calls and write a decent report or letter -- something a lot of eningeers cannot do.

If you apply yourself - you will be OK..
 

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Option C - get a 6 month/year contracting job.

- Steve

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Option C- Isn't that just sacrificing both at the same time?  ponder

"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."

Have you read FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies to make the best use of these Forums?

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

First of all, remember its your life that you are living. If you want to be a ski instructor and believe this is the right choice, it's your choice and you sure can go do it.

Right now at the age 22 you probably are fine with living on a ski bum income. You may not need much more. But also recognize that the #1 thing employers like to see is experience and you don't get that experience being a ski bum.

Look at the bigger picture: Do you want your own pad (as in, owning your own pad)? Do you want to have a cool retirement fund? Would you like to afford the bars/clubs in the evening (and not go in debt)?

I know a lot of guys who have kept up the college life WHILE working as an engineer. That's cool. I also know a lot of guys that haven't outgrown the college lifestyle. That's not cool.

Bear with it. Stick with your current job, but explain to your boss that you need a good mentor to help you out. You're only 22, he can't expect the world of you.

If you really want to keep living like a college student, have you thought about grad school? You could probably be a ski instructor while going to grad school, but you'd at least be improving yourself.

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

I would think that part-time consulting might be difficult to come by for an inexperienced civil engineer, but I may be biased because of my particular subdiscipline.  Maybe it's different in geotech.

I've been almost but not quite in your boat.

Similarity 1.  I thought about becoming a full-time musician.  I put together a plan for how I could survive that way.  But then I decided, once I felt I really had a choice in the matter, that I still wanted to be an engineer.

Similarity 2.  When I took my first job (I was 29, not 22), I was afraid I wasn't emotionally up for it.  I'd been in academic settings for 13 years, wasn't sure I could make the transition to full-time work.  I deliberately selected a position with people I felt would be more tolerant of my flaws.  Turns out the regular work schedule was okay for me.  At least it was then.  Nine years later, I'm having trouble with it.

Similarity 3.  My mentor left after a year and a half, and to be honest, my job satisfaction has been in the toilet since then.  Not really for technical reasons, more for "HR" reasons.  At times there has been enough about the job that I liked to keep me here; between those times I didn't really know where else to go so I stayed.  At the moment I'm working on a dream project so it's good I stuck around.

Potential similarity 4.  I have two degrees that I will never use, in a subject I abandoned.  There are worse things in life than walking away from what you spend several years in school for.

But I am not you.

The difficulty won't be so much coming back after two years.  The real difficulty would be coming back after more like five or ten years (say you really like being a ski instructor, stick with it, but then have to quit because of injury).  There is at least one other thread somewhere around here about that topic (I think the poster wanted to take some time off to raise children).  You'd find it hard to compete with the new kids coming fresh out of school who haven't had 5 years to forget it all.  Then again, in 5 years you'll be a different person and maybe it won't matter any more.

How long is a ski instructor's career?  If it's a young person's job, this is the time to do it.  If you can do it into middle age (barring injury), you can afford to spend a little more time in engineering, maybe get a different job & see if you still hate it--perhaps this ski instructor plan is more of an escape fantasy than you think it is.  Or maybe even slog it out for another 10 years (or however long it takes) till you get to where you can do independent consulting and set your own schedule to allow for seasonal ski instruction.

Hg

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RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

I'm in my late 20's and have been working for a 3 years now.  I had my job lined up for me after before I graduated so I took off and travelled for a couple months, which was a great experience.  But, I spend a lot of time wishing I took more time off.  I'm at a stage now where I'm almost surely going to work until retirement.  That is not as exciting as it sounds.  You're in a position where you could work  until the ski season starts, do the 5-6 months of instructing, get some other job during the off season, then do another winter as a ski instructor.  At that point you could have been out of the eng world for 18 months (or whatever) but you would have done two years as a ski instructor.  To me, that sounds like a pretty sweet opportunity.

Take my recommendations with a grain of salt though, if you've ever seen any of my other postings about my job satisfaction you'll know why I say that. ha

Maybe talk to your employer about hiring you back in the summer to work in a student/temp role.  Good luck.

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Been in the game for about a dozen years now.  I think I would rather be a ski instructor.

I just want too much stuff at this point in my life, and it all takes money.  Not that I am truly materialistic, but that I have become accustomed. Now of course, the instructor part would pay for my Colorado pass, but probably not the kids' education fund.

I like watching the documentary "Ski Bums" on the DOC channel. A bunch of long time Canadian ski bums that gave in to the life.  I probably would have done the same if I had grown up around this area.  As one bum said, "I wouldn't tell you to give up everything and become a ski bum, but it sure works for me."

I often think the same as you, but like I said, I like the things I can afford living above the poverty level.  Actually, the next big thing I want to purchase is some land near Breck so we can cut our commute time, and make skiing the whole weekend easier.  I will get to the dream one way or another.  Some nice mountain land and a fat retirement account are high on the goal list.  I suggest you look long term and see if you can get what you want out of what you have or similar.  If not, do as my wife says and does: Ski 'til ya puke!

For the apparent non-skiers, you can be an instructor through old age – see many of them. You can ski after the knee or back heals – proving that.
You can instruct year round – Southern hemi.  There are a lot of instructors in CO from down under.
 

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

wow what it was like to have no responcibility. Things are pritty easy when your single and dont have kids to worry about!

My best freind got an engineering job in Salt Lake Utah, and his employer basically understands that he is really their for the atmosphere, hiking, and any good skiing days he skips work! Obviously he did alot of negotiating, but he is living his dream and not sidetracking his career.

where their is a will there is a way...

best of luck



  

Official DIPPED Member -
Drank in PP Every Day  

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

I didn't graduate until I was 30.
You're only 22, take a year or 2 off engineering, it would hurt in the long run.

It sounds like the real problem is stress and lack of experience. You said yourself you did enjoy engineering with the proper support/mentoring.

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Don't abandon engineering.

I pursued a couple of different avenues along the way, but I never dropped engineering. I took flight training under the GI Bill, and the opportunities for professional pilots were very discouraging. I would have to take a 50% cut in income. I became a part-time flight instructor.

Another was landscape design, for which I took distant training. I practiced this seasonally with mixed results. The sense of design coming from my eng background helped. I looked at full-time opportunities, but the potential never measured up to engineering.

So, don't abandon engineering. When time was available I used to organize my function and document design routines. Another allied activity is writing work instructions. I also ran optimumization computer runs trying to learn the right proportions in my specialty.

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

OK, I fundamentally have a problem with 22 yr old kids graduating and working as engineers.  No flipping wonder you feel that you're not ready- you probably aren't!

If you'd have gone to a co-op university, you'd have another year of age and TWO of work experience to tell you whether or not engineering suits you.  

The trouble with taking your hobby or your passion and turning it into a living is that it can kill the joy you find in it, leaving you with NOTHING.  Being a ski instructor isn't the same as skiing for pleasure.  Being a ski instructor for a living isn't the same as doing it part-time on weekends.  And summers are long...

There are gray clouds on the economic horizon.  In my opinion, the last thing you want to do is to put your four years and many dollars worth of investment in your education in jepoardy because you hit a rough patch in your first job out of school.  Find another job where you'll get a little more support and guidance, and see how that goes before you decide to pitch it all in and become a ski instructor.  But long before you go, make sure your boss knows what you're going through and has a chance to do something about it.  Don't assume that they've noticed, regardless how small the place is:  everybody has their own fish to fry, including your boss.

Some here have successfully found a way to pop in and out of engineering and make a go of it, but in my experience they're the exception rather than the rule.  Gaps in a resume do indicate a potential lack of commitment later when it matters, and employers notice that.  Once you've got a network established that can help you to find work without going through the HR departments of firms, it might not matter so much.  But you're not there yet.  Get a base of experience and a few years of emotional maturity before you make any big decisions about what to do with the rest of your life.

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

When you get back into Engineering, pick a large company, that way if one person leaves there will be others to fill in.

Good luck,
Latexman

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

(OP)
The responses you've given me are reassuring.  I have come to an agreement (with myself) that I think is suitable.

As I said, I've spent the last 5 ski seasons spending anywhere from 20-30 days teaching skiing.  I love it very much and am sure I could do it for 40-70 days and still love it.  That's not really the point though.

After speaking to some colleagues (who promised some level of confidentiality)  I realized there is pretty much no way to leave my firm right now without leaving a nasty, bitter taste in all of our collective mouths.  I don't really have any intention of doing that, now that I've realized communication, not suffering in silence, is VERY necessary to improve work conditions.

As far as co-op programs and experience, I suppose this is about my 7th month working in an office 8-5 setting as I had a pretty good co-op experience during summer 2007.  The problem I have with work isn't so much that its overwhelming, in fact it's awfully similar to any kind of project course I had in my senior year.  I think I'm just resenting that I didn't give myself enough of a gap between school and employment (I realize most people have the opposite problem).

So, now the plan.  I'm going to actively try to communicate better in my workplace.  This company is fairly small, the people are friendly and genuinely want to help you out.  I have enough work on the horizon to last me through March, and I'm in a financial situation where I can save roughly 30% of my income.  I'm going to acvtively seek support and continue this work (which is fairly interesting) for at least a calendar year.

After that year, I will have both a more reasonable amount of experience and a reasonable amount of savings.  I will also have a full year of foresight and planning to enact in any hare-brained scheme I come up with.

Thanks for your support, and I welcome further comments, as you all have brought many different perspectives.  Perspective that I, with my college kid tendency to look for any and all escapes from responsibilty, could not see.

I also haven't used any vacation days yet, so there is ample opportunity to get lost somewhere.  (and return to a lucrative engineering career, heh)
 

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Say what? Most engineers, myself included start working at 21.

As for passion, different strokes for different folks.  The ability to get paid for doing something you like is GREAT!!!  Not only do I have fun at what I do, I get paid GOBS of MONEY!!!  The annoyances on the job come with EVERY job; there are jerks in EVERY company, EVERY profession.

Frankly, if you're dragged down easily, you need to be doing something you like, as that will be the only thing that gets you up in the morning to go to work.  Think about that for a second; Would you really want a sucky job that held no interest for you, while you only get to do the thing that you like a few days or weeks a year.  Or would you do the thing that you like ALL year, and tolerate the minor hassles of that career.

I've seen plenty of ski instructors that work full time, all year round; Aussies that spend half the year in North America, and the rest of the year down under.  It's a permanent ski vacation; if I were more fanatical about skiiing, that would be an E ticket.

TTFN

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RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

phalkor, you sound more mature and introspective than most college kids I've run into lately.

Hg

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RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Not everyone has the luxury of a mentor at all.  Read relevant texts, network etc.  If you put the effort in it is not that hard to work out how to do it on your own, it just seems like it to start with.  Then all of a sudden you are no longer scared about it and get a sense of achievement that you have achieved something yourself.

It sounds like a perfect opportunity to learn very quickly.  There might be a very steep learning curve but think how much more you will know and the responsibility you will have in a few months compared to if you were doing a meaningless graduate project in a large company.  

I agree with all of the above who say that hobbies are exactly that.  You could take the safe option and go into skiing put what would you achieve in a year or two doing that?

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

I'm sorry brother, but I think you have to suck it up and plow thru the job.  In engineering when you go from project to project, job to job, company to company, and promotion to promotion, you will always have these feelings of uncertainty.  You have to build your tolerance for stress.  And the only way to do that is take something on bigger than you think you can handle.  This is the best way to get promoted.  You got thru college with your ingenuity; it is the same with work.  Spread sheets and analysis, you've paid the college to do this, now someday is paying you the do the same work.  Dig deep, keep a sense of humor, read lots of eng-tip post, and move on.

Good luck!
 

Tobalcane
"If you avoid failure, you also avoid success."  

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Wow:  21-22 yrs old, eh?  I did co-op and a combined bachelors/masters (1 calendar yr beyond my Bachelors grad) and I was 25 before I got out into the working world...with no time off between school and work.  Can't imagine being there at 21!

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

Hmm, I did a year in industry before uni and started work after uni at the grand old age of 22, and to be honest given the choice I'd have skipped the third year at uni, at the time I could not foresee that 3 out of 4 of my third year papers were going to be directly useful to me in my career.  

 

Cheers

Greg Locock

SIG:Please see FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

2
I can't speak for everyone but I know many engineers, myself included, who would have loved to work somewhere and have someone working over me leave and they let me take over his duties.  That actually happened to me and is one of the reasons I am in the position, and making the money, I am today.  Throw them in the deep end and see if they can swim.

That's exactly what happened to you.  Staying and making something of this could be a defining moment in your career.  It could also crush you, like it sounds like it is, and put you on the path to being a career cube dweller.  I won't be happy till I have windows, lot's of windows, but that's just me.

There are many engineers in this world who are very happy were they are and will never put themselves out there to try and take that leap to the next level.  You have been given a great opportunity to take that leap.  If you are not willing to then step away and let someone who is willing to go ahead of you.  We all take different paths along our individual journeys and maybe this just isn't your path.

On a more personal not I was fired from my first engineering job after two years.  I hated it, and my boss, and was coming in late and just didn't care about the work.  I got along great with the Sr. Engineer but they needed an application/sales engineer and it was obvious that they were pushing me in that direction.  After that I spent about 1.5 years as a painter/paper hanger working for my father and doing some work on my own.  My father and grandfather were both painters/paper hangers so I took a shot at the family business.  Eventually I got the bug to go back to engineering and have never looked back.

Taking a few years off won't hurt your chances of future success, as long as you have a good reason for doing it.  I would strongly encourage you not tell anyone you are trying to find yourself.  It's one thing to say you are going to do something while you have no expenses, responsibilities, and are young enough to do it.  It's something completely different to come across as a directionless person who thinks skiing would help you find an appreciation for working in the corporate world.

RE: Leaving the first job and dramatic life decisions

phalcor,
I worked all through Uni, started work directly there from and left after about 3 years (age 25) to be a mountain, beach and ski bum; greatly enjoyed the time off and the good times -Sierras, Hawaii, Aspen, etc. After about a year when the car conked out and money became a bit more tight, I found another job in my engieneering field in about 6-weeks. In a little over a year, I bought my ski cabin. So you can do what you are planning without substantially sacrificing longer term financial goals.  

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