meaningless greetings
meaningless greetings
(OP)
It's not an obstacle to getting my work done, but since most of my human interaction happens at work I guess it's work-related.
First there was the empty "How are you?" to which the only appropriate answer is "Fine". And its cousin, "What's up?" to which the only appropriate answer is "Nothin' much."
Okay, I got those.
Then there was "What's going on?" which seemed, in contrast to "What's up?", to be a real question rather than a formulaic greeting, but no, it wasn't. It was just a variant on "What's up?".
Okay, fine, I learned that.
The latest, though, is where someone in passing asks a specific question about some social aspect of my life--and then seems dismayed when I waste their time answering it with a full sentence or two.
Dammit, if you mean hello, just say hello. I don't want to have to go through life assuming that every non-technical question aimed in my direction is insincere. I'm cranky enough as it is.
Hg
First there was the empty "How are you?" to which the only appropriate answer is "Fine". And its cousin, "What's up?" to which the only appropriate answer is "Nothin' much."
Okay, I got those.
Then there was "What's going on?" which seemed, in contrast to "What's up?", to be a real question rather than a formulaic greeting, but no, it wasn't. It was just a variant on "What's up?".
Okay, fine, I learned that.
The latest, though, is where someone in passing asks a specific question about some social aspect of my life--and then seems dismayed when I waste their time answering it with a full sentence or two.
Dammit, if you mean hello, just say hello. I don't want to have to go through life assuming that every non-technical question aimed in my direction is insincere. I'm cranky enough as it is.
Hg
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RE: meaningless greetings
--Scott
http://wertel.eng.pro
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
RE: meaningless greetings
I must be socially retarded. It never occurs to me to ask questions if I don't plan to listen to the answer.
So I feel like an idiot when I actually answer someone's social question and by the fourth word (not the fourth paragraph) the person's trying to get away from me because the expected answer, depending on the sentence structure of the question, was either "yup" or "fine".
But I hate the thought of assuming that all social questions are that insincere.
I'm not talking about a "whassup" in the hallway. I'm talking about specific questions along the lines of "How's your [injury or other medical condition]?" or "Do any [hobby] this weekend?"
The answer to those is to be nothing more than "fine/better" and "yup/nope". What the hell is the point? Asking the question is not a polite show of interest; asking the question and getting a brief answer is a polite show of interest. Asking the question and not waiting for an answer is some kind of weird scoring system where you get points for revealing that you know details about someone else.
Hg
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RE: meaningless greetings
"Ni Hao." is the rhetorical version while "Ni Hao Ma." is where they really want to know how you are.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: meaningless greetings
Depending on my mood, I'll give a brief answer about my weekend and refuse to ask in return. Mind you, I don't have many friends.
Cheers,
CanuckMiner
RE: meaningless greetings
He doesn't ask me anything anymore. ;)
Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
RE: meaningless greetings
David
RE: meaningless greetings
My other option is, "can't/musn't grumble, and no one would listen if I did anyway"
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
RE: meaningless greetings
But, this thread reminds me that I am, in fact, an engineer.
Why do people ask questions they don't want the answer to? Why should I be forced to essentially lie that every day of my life is the best one yet?
Person: Hey, what's up?
Me: Well I've been out all week with food poisoning.
Person: Uh, OK, bye.
Me: Oops.
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
- Steve
RE: meaningless greetings
1. 'Average', usually stops a conversation dead
or
2. 'Best ever, my life is a continual sequence of happy events', usually gets a bemused look, but no more conversation
Kevin
"It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class." ~Author Unknown
"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." ~Author Unknown
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
check out page 15 of "moon is a harsh mistress" by Heinlein... it describes a conversation between a technician and a computer. Computer initiates with "hello man." tech responds with "what do you know?" after which the computer begins to recite Genesis.
An excerpt:
"You asked what I knew." His binary read-out lights rippled back and forth--a chuckle. Mike could laugh with voder, a horrible sound, but reserved that for something really funny, say a cosmic calamity.
"Should have said," I went on," 'What do you know that's new?' But don't read out today's papers; that was a friendly greeting, plus invitation to tell me anything you think would interest me. Otherwise null program."
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
When someone, usually a cashier, replies with "Have a nice Day". I sometimes respond with "I have other plans". It's usually true and it gets some surprising looks.
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
him- "What's up?"
me- "Airplanes and clouds"
Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
RE: meaningless greetings
"C over lambda."
RE: meaningless greetings
My greetings are generally limited to saying good morning to my office partner. Or something like, 'hey, Hg, nice pistol. Is that a Glock?"
"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"
RE: meaningless greetings
There are a few around here that ask a specific question, "How are you doing this morning?" I give specific answers, especially if I know they are only asking it rhetorically and are in a hurry to get someplace. If I know the question was meant to be "Hello", I either reply with:
'morning.
Hey...
Good. You?
Sometimes when I am in the mood, I'll say, "Smellin' roses on the sunny-side of Easy Street!" This always garners a second look.
"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."
Have you read FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies to make the be
RE: meaningless greetings
Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies
RE: meaningless greetings
Was a time back it the UK where gents toilets were a no conversation zone unless you were an adult supevising a small child. I miss those days.
eliebl, that's cruel. Having worked as a cashier I'm now more sympathetic to them. Don't get me wrong a lot of them do suck and ask for it but at the rate most of them are paid and the way they get treated, have a heart.
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
RE: meaningless greetings
Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies
RE: meaningless greetings
Little girl grocery cashier: (after totaling my groceries) "Sir, do you wish to contribute a dollar to the Children's Miracle Network?"
Me: "Yeah, I guess that after a day of squandering the earth's resources and polluting the ecosystem, it'll be good for my karma."
LGGC: "Did you REALLY do that?"
Me: "Sure. On my shoulders is the wight of your way of life. I'm up for it."
LGGC: (smile, with question marks all over it)
Me: "Thank you, sweetie!"
I love being me...
old field guy
RE: meaningless greetings
1. S**t and thanks coz you've made it a f**k load worse
2. Good, that flakey stuff around my k**b has finally cured itself. I told you I wouldn't have to go to the doctor. If you wouldn't mind telling others that they can safely use the toilets again I'd really appreciate the help.
3. (At the top of you're voice) AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH, behind you. Whatever you do don't move.
4. Awful, my wife has PMT and is taking it out on me again.
5. Excellent, would you like to talk about conversion to my religion.
Kevin
"It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class." ~Author Unknown
"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." ~Author Unknown
RE: meaningless greetings
That is one of my pet peeves also. Shallow self absorbed people do this all the time. My response is normally "Im' here". That ends most of it. Even worse are those boneheads that do this in meetings. "Hey Helicopter what is your opinion of why the dussle actuator arm is breaking?"
"Well, I think it may be related to..........interuption.." "Thanks". "Hey,let's move on to the powerpoint presentation that Ted prepared."
I put up with this crap for awhile and then I would just start in talking again like the guy with the stapler in Office Spaces. "I am going to burn this place down if no one wants to listen". "I will burn it down."
RE: meaningless greetings
hey helicopter...do you have those TPS reports yet?
"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"
RE: meaningless greetings
Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
RE: meaningless greetings
"How ya doing?" - "Great, I've just resigned. How 'bout you?"
"Are you winning?" - "Two-nil down with five minutes to go."
And for those who talk while in the loo, if I'm already installed in one of the traps, I sit in silence for a few moments while they chat then I put on a show of straining, groaning, choking, gagging sounds. Conversation dies real quick.
----------------------------------
If we learn from our mistakes I'm getting a great education!
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
"So I went with the ambiguous tight-lipped smile that could be confused with a stomach ache."
"Your stories suck".
- Dilbert, recounting his day to Dogbert
RE: meaningless greetings
http://m
RE: meaningless greetings
So I'm squeezed into the crowd of fellow sprinklers in a pub somewhere in England. A biker friend of mine squeezes in next to me, looks at me, looks down and says in a loud voice: "I see the scabs have healed up then!". Talk about ice-breakers.
- Steve
RE: meaningless greetings
He was obviously totally unaware that he'd done anything wrong (who among us ever is and heh, there's no way to anticipate significant others punishments anyway... so I guess it doesn't matter).
Anyway, walking ahead of them is a lady in a large and flamboyant hat.
Suddenly, and in a loud voice my friends wife says: "Well, I think it is a very nice hat."
The lady in question turns sharply and glares at my friend like she is going to cut him into small pieces. He has nowhere to hide.
He notes the satisfied look on significant others face.
(This is far more subtle than my significant other ever is. I envy him.)
And yes, I too prefer the monastic silence days of the gents loos.
I wonder if this isn't a hangover from the old pub days when the toilets were often just a wall under a shed roof outside the bar (and frequently unlit which made for interesting experiences) and to talk was to breath and to breath could sometimes make you bring up all the more recent beers through the mouth and nose.
Of course, today they've gone all soft with indoor loos and hygiene and all, not forgetting the auto-flush and scented blocks to pee on in the hopes they'll dissolve more quickly.
Why is it that in the UK supermarkets they've all started asking stupid questions at the checkout:
My shopping is on the conveyor, I have a carrier bag open and ready and I'm not obviously a paraplegic. "Would you like some help with your packing?"
Given a choice, I'd rather the customer services team taught them to say "please" and "thank you".
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: meaningless greetings
what is the frequency that you say c over lambda?
RE: meaningless greetings
I laughed out loud.
RE: meaningless greetings
pretty frequently. whenever someone asks "what's 'nu?'"
RE: meaningless greetings
One nurse came in cheerful and asked "So, how are you this morning?"
He responded "I'm above ground! What the h*ll do ya think!".
I couldn't help to laugh.
Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
RE: meaningless greetings
I wonder if it hertz anyone's feelings.
RE: meaningless greetings
Another I haven't heard since emigrating is "How's your belly off for spots?"
RE: meaningless greetings
And I used to answer "frequency" for "What's new".
I don't do anything like that at my current job because the rednecks would shun me.
Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies
RE: meaningless greetings
Belly off for spots, I haven't heard that for ever, in fact I think my Dad was about the only person I know who ever used it.
I may try it in the office here, who thinks it'll go down well in Santa Barbara?
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
RE: meaningless greetings
Santa Barbara? You may not like the response you get (especially if your winking when you do it).
SB County may even fine you for ruining the environment.
RE: meaningless greetings
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
Could be dating back to wanting to verify someone didn't have the 'plague' and looking for tell tale skin discoloration etc but that's just one idea.
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."
Have you read FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies to make the best use of these Forums?
RE: meaningless greetings
I believe human animals still have a subconscious need to identify friend or foe when passing in the halls. Any friendly gesture is preferable to sidewise eye contact and skulking past like a coyote that hopes you didn't see him.
RE: meaningless greetings
Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies
RE: meaningless greetings
However, in Europe (particularly France and Eastern Europe), my impression is that it is fine to say, "Not well, I am having a horrible day".
This is just based on a couple experiences, would be good to know what everyone else thinks.
RE: meaningless greetings
ht
ht
Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
RE: meaningless greetings
ctopher, you get a star for the iMockery link. Great stuff!
I especially like their take on the new Virginia billboard campaign which cannot, even in the most obtuse form, be referenced here.
I'm going to go wipe my eyes and stuff a towel in my mouth now...
"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"
RE: meaningless greetings
Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
RE: meaningless greetings
excellent read!
RE: meaningless greetings
- Steve
RE: meaningless greetings
However for most Engineers I can see your point.
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
RE: meaningless greetings
I normaly just say "Mornin'"
Or "Go0od Mornin"
And some times...
"Hey Rick,how are you?"
maybe i am old fashioned or over formal....
RE: meaningless greetings
I think that bosses walking down rows of cubicles and greeting everyone by name are either -
a) practicing name memorisation by repetition.
b) showing off for actually knowing names of the drones - "aren't I a hand-on manager mixing with and loved by the troops"?
I have worked with Shell on occasions and a lot of the Dutch guys would greet you with "How's life?" My standard answer was - "Sure beats the alternative". Only one of them ever stopped, thought about it and laughed.
RE: meaningless greetings
- Steve
RE: meaningless greetings
Wear your id badge near your crotch... then ask people "did you forget my name, or are you wondering if it's really as big as they say?" Should be worth a laugh.
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
I had to train myself not to ask a friend of mine "what's up". His standard response was "a chicken's butt when he eats". He still gets me with it every once in a while.
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
"Wonderful! A good dose of self delusion gets me through to lunch time!"
Mark Hutton
RE: meaningless greetings
What's up, Norm?
"My nipples. It's freezing out there."
Some nice chap has collated a load of Norm-isms here:
http://www.davidstuff.com/humor/norm.htm
- Steve
RE: meaningless greetings
Even that is not devoid of useful content. I never realized that "What's up? Chicken butt!" was anything more than a bad rhyme. I can go home now, having learned my New Thing For The Day.
Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
After a week or so, they were on restriction if I ever heard it again. They stopped.
A coworker tried it once....once. I told him "Don't go there!".
Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
RE: meaningless greetings
When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty. - Thomas Jefferson
RE: meaningless greetings
Make a sign...
Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
RE: meaningless greetings
When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty. - Thomas Jefferson
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
http://shop.cafepress.com/wtf
When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty. - Thomas Jefferson
RE: meaningless greetings
Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
Tophinater, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, 'kay?
"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"
RE: meaningless greetings
Yet everyone else works 5-10 extra hrs a week...
He is so like Dwight that i cant even get annoyed with him... it makes me laugh...
RE: meaningless greetings
Then there was the kid (I wonder if he is still in prison-but I digress) who always said to the departing customers as they left the store (we were also required to do that parting greeting-"thank you ma'am, hurry back and see us") "F**k you ma'am, hurry back and e@t us" without fail. No one ever caught on although all of us bagboys knew exactly what he had said (and didn't have the brass ourselves to say.)
I've never put much stock in perfunctory greetings since.
rmw
RE: meaningless greetings
Formalities, manners and general greetings are hardly worth so much thought, lighten up and move on.
Charlie
www.facsco.com
RE: meaningless greetings
RE: meaningless greetings
"Till now, I was fine" !!!
HVAC68