Mottoes
Mottoes
(OP)
Further to catchphrases, does anyone have a favourite motto? Mine belongs to Faber College of "Animal House", -"knowledge is good".
Regards,
Bill
Regards,
Bill
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RE: Mottoes
A couple of sites that have some pretty sophmoric T-Shirt phrases:
www.shirtaday.com
www.mentalfloss.com/store/home.php?cat=103
If you "heard" it on the internet, it's guilty until proven innocent. - DCS
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- Steve
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Jeff Mirisola, CSWP, Certified DriveWorks AE
http://designsmarter.typepad.com/jeffs_blog
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f-d
¡papá gordo ain't no madre flaca!
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Credit Dorothy Parker please.
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Mikee '66
Mike McCann
MMC Engineering
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Don Corleone.
Jeff Mirisola, CSWP, Certified DriveWorks AE
http://designsmarter.typepad.com/jeffs_blog
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old field guy
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BTW, thanks swearingen :)
<<A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend
will be sitting beside you saying " Damn that was fun!" - Unknown>>
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swearingen,
An acquaintance of mine does consulting work for our city's homicide squad. They gave him a tee shirt with the following legend...
"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."
JHG
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If in doubt, make is stout.
Tobalcane
"If you avoid failure, you also avoid success."
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You're only immortal for a limited time.
And another:
IF YOU TELL THE TRUTH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMEMBER ANYTHING
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Say what you mean.
Mean what you think.
Think anything.
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Amateurs practice until they get it right, proffesionals practice till they cant get it wrong.
(both stolen from the Live Audio Forums)
Nick
I love materials science!
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"The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy."
The author of this quote is listed as Anonymous in my Civilizaton IV game; also attributed to Oscar Wilde at Wikipedia.
Cheers,
CanuckMiner
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Heh. To try to keep myself sane, I keep telling myself never to attribute to malice that which can be attributed to simple stupidity.
Hg
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RE: Mottoes
"In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics." Homer Simpson
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It Depends!
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Check everything twice, machine it once!
Trevor Clarke. (R & D) Scientific Instruments.Somerset. UK
SW2007x64 SP3.0 Pentium P4 3.6Ghz, 4Gb Ram ATI FireGL V7100 Driver: 8.323.0.0
SW2007x32 SP4.0 Pentium P4 3.6Ghz, 2Gb Ram NVIDIA Quadro FX 500 Driver: 6.14.10.7756
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luismarques
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If you "heard" it on the internet, it's guilty until proven innocent. - DCS
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luismarques
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luis
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"For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who do not believe, no proof is possible." Stuart Chase
"Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results." Scott Adams
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to choose the one I've never tried before." Mae West
"Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it." Cullen Hightower
"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"
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I have always like your sign-off and it makes a great motto.
My Dad's motto....
You only end up fooling yourself when you try to be too clever.
Kevin
"It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class." ~Author Unknown
"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." ~Author Unknown
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'Kev, have you ever noticed that you are the common denominator to all my troubles'
Sigh!
Kevin
"It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class." ~Author Unknown
"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." ~Author Unknown
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"Diesel smoke makes me horny."
- Steve
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Peter principle
"In a Hierarchy Every Employee Tends to Rise to His Level of Incompetence."
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- Gore Vidal (I think)
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Lawrence Peter also states "Incompetence is in the eye of the beholder.". I think this negates everything else in his book.
JHG
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``Incompetent individuals are less able to recognize competence in others,''
Thomas Jefferson's asserted that ``he who knows best knows how little he knows.''
Or Socrates who said "I only know that I know nothing"
Incompetence is the incapacity to delegate.
luis
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Interesting paper on incompetence and self-assessment:
h
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Hg
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Hg
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PERFORMANCE = SUCCESS
No mention of if they mean good or bad performance.
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
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Pass me a razor.
Cheers
Greg Locock
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RE: Mottoes
Patricia Lougheed
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RE: Mottoes
The study is a very interesting read, but there was one aspect that jumped out at me that raised my skeptic hairs. It was the magical 'training packet' containing "techniques for testing the veracity of logical syllogisms" that the authors gave to a portions of the participants that, IN 10 MINUTES,transformed them from the incompetent to the competent.
I wanna know exactly what was in that test packet and how many of those incompetents knew the definition of 'veracity' and 'syllogism'.
"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"
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Yes, this is a complete philosophy, and a good one -- if you don't know what to order in a pub, order a stout.
But is somewhat contrary structural engineering advice to Kelly Johnson's admonishment to his aeronautical engineers: "simplificate and add lightness". I think he borrowed that one from an earlier aero type (Wright? Icarus' dad?)
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"They are all interchangeable, but don't mix them up."
The last was a true quote from one of my employees !! (now ex-employee
Ross
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"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."
Have you read FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies to make the be
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Believe it if you need it or leave it if you dare. - Robert Hunter
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"If your gonna be a bum, be the king of the bums because you should always be the best at what you be."
Mr. Kinkle - one of my shop instructors in high school
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Disclaimer (in case she reads it). I am not chauvinist and I have a gorgeous mother of two for a wife! It's all in good fun
<<A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend
will be sitting beside you saying " Damn that was fun!" - Unknown>>
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"If in doubt, find a scapegoat.
If caught find an alibi.
If convicted, don't be the one to find the bar of soap"
Kevin
"It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class." ~Author Unknown
"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." ~Author Unknown
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luismarques
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(Quad Erat Demonstratum)
Kevin
"It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class." ~Author Unknown
"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." ~Author Unknown
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'Kevin, take a look at a dollar bill and what does it say. In God we trust, but Kevin for everything else you need data.'
Kevin
"It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class." ~Author Unknown
"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." ~Author Unknown
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"A problem postponed is a problem half solved."
- Steve
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And there's a sign on the wall in our lab: "One test is worth a thousand expert opinions."
Hg
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RE: Mottoes
<<A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend
will be sitting beside you saying " Damn that was fun!" - Unknown>>
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- Steve
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"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin
Mike
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"People do not do what you expect, people do what you inspect" or something like that.
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
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Not sure that some of these are motoes as such though.
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
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The SAS motto is a beauty, "Who dares wins", or in the case of the Italian equivalent "Who cares who wins". heh, heh.
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"We're here for a good time, not a long time"
"Per Ardua Ad Astra"
"Nemo Me Impune Lacessit "
Or while I'm at it:
"Illegitimi non carborundum"
(I usually fing gratuitous posting of Latin Pretentious but I guess the mood caught me.)
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
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I've always liked that one, especially when it was the basis of an SF story, where, to spoil the story, humans were regarded as very inventive and creative but shortlived people, individually, by all the aliens. Another SF story once considered whether you should give people a choice at the age of 20 - either live unaged until 60 and then die immediately, or age naturally until whatever. A very good friend suggested that we should kill all those who chose the latter path. I no longer agree with her.
Cheers
Greg Locock
SIG:Please see FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.
RE: Mottoes
Believe it if you need it or leave it if you dare. - Robert Hunter
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The seven Ps, just doing it without peeing 7 times can be an error.
The key as ever is balance.
KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
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What I meant to post was "...The key to success distilled into three words. I often think of it when I catch myself procrastinating."
Believe it if you need it or leave it if you dare. - Robert Hunter
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The US Army's "Be all you can be." and Castrol's "Liquid Engineering." though in retrospect, "Liquid for engineering" is obviously that favoured by Mike 17650.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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"The Quicker you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up."
JR97
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"Who shoots, kills"
- Steve
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"Procrastinators unite tomorrow!"
If you "heard" it on the internet, it's guilty until proven innocent. - DCS
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- Douglas Adams
its not a motto but its what I do
(scary huh?)
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My boys love this one
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The best way to test something is to squeeze it, slowly, until it breaks!
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- or -
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. (??)
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There was another one: "Its not how many strings you have to your bow but how many Beaus you have on your string." Don't know who said that.
Another Movie quote that seems pretty good:
"The sharpest sword never leaves its sheath." ("San Jiro" [30] a sequel to Yojimbo).
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Mottoes
The public have an insatiable curiosity to
know everything, except what is worth knowing.
-Oscar Wilde
<<A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend
will be sitting beside you saying " Damn that was fun!" - Unknown>>
RE: Mottoes
I use this one when projects are moving along a bit too fast and people are making mistakes: "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get", author unknown
Just clever. I love the logic of this one: "Hangs in the air the way that bricks don't", Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
My mantra: "I never make mistakes. I thought I did once, but I was wrong".
RE: Mottoes
Dad: "TRY!!!"
Life: "No Guts, No Glory!!!"
"Never give up, Never Give UP, NEVER GIVE UP"
Kids: "Hire a teenage while they still know everything!!"
Work: Anything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong.
Murphy was an optimst!
Regards, Wil Taylor
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I think this was an old NBC Saturday Night Live take-off of the General Electric motto "Progress is our most important Product". I believe GE owned NBC at the time.
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"PICK ANY TWO:
I want it done fast
I want it done good
I want it done cheap"
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Good Fast and Cheap are known as the Golden triangle - a term used and described as such by the US Navy, paradoxical as it may seem.
Of course, their definition of "cheap" may be a bit different to ours.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Mottoes
- "We will agree to disagree." I like to tell my wife this. If I say I am going to do something and she doesn't think it's a good idea, then I tell her this and do it anyways!
- "_____ was no match for my superior intellect and massive upperbody strength." This was originally used by a college classmate in reference to CADKey program. He had never worked with CADKey, but that's the programming our engineering drafting course used...
- "People do things. It's a fact." Same college classmate. I like to use this when people are caught up in drama. Such as, "Why did you take the last donut when I didn't get any and you already had two?" I have also personally added the pharse, "Look it up on Wikipedia." to the end. =)
- "That sounds like an electrical problem." Used to try to pass blame (jokingly) at the office. Things like mounting a sensor with little clearance around it and then there is no way to get power to the sensor. The electrical guys will complain and I'll just tell them it is an electrical problem. They do the same thing for us mechanical guys (though the electrical guys have more experience and seem to make less mistakes than I do at this point. =( Just don't tell them I said that...)
-- MechEng2005
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Hg
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Don't Rush me... I'll work cheaper. -- Grandpa Taylor
To trust is to bust; to bust is hell-to-pay; so... no-trust, no-bust, no-hell-to-pay. -- Grandpa Taylor
In God We Trust! (National Motto, U.S.A)
In God We Trusted... In Kansas we busted!
In God We Trust... all other must pay cash.
In God We Trust... all others are suspects.
In God We Trust... all others must have a security clearance... and a need-to-know.
Regards, Wil Taylor
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Be a jack of all trades, but be a master of one.
Tobalcane
"If you avoid failure, you also avoid success."
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Luck is a difficult thing to verify and therefore should be tested often. - Me
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"It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class."
Has always bugged me!
Nothing personal, I just find myself doing sums in my head to see if it is true everytime I read it!
Is it a fact? Presumably only those who graduate get to be called doctors, so anyone who fails are firmly in the bottom half of the class, but not a doctor.
So if we assume an even distribution of results, in a class of 100 potential doctors, and lets say that 15 of them fail.
The top half of the class will have 50 doctors, and the bottom half of the class will have 35 doctors and 15 failed students.
So in this example 41.2% of doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class.
Unfortunately "It is a mathematical fact that 50% of doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class, assuming all students pass and become doctors" isn't such a snappy motto!
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When I was in the sixth form, some boys formed a band. Their best song was a punked up version of the school song, with the motto featuring prominently in the chorus.
For really sad motto hunters, check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mottos
- Steve
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I'm of the opinion that once a potential doctor fails, they are no longer part of the class. In example, if you were intending to graduate college as the class of 2008 but happened to fail a course, you would no longer consider yourself to be in the class of 2008. Possibly '09, but that leaves only the passing students remaining in the class.
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- Steve
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Life is tough - it's tougher if Your stupid. John Wayne in the sands of Iwo Jima.. I think...
A few serious and controversial quotes...but food for thought (I have NO idea who said them).
1. As John Steinbeck once said: Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.
2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
3. I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.
4. America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the Mall.
5. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away. Shoot first... then call 911.
6. A reporter did a human interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him "Why do you carry a 45?" The Ranger responded with, "Because they don't make a 46."
7. An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.
8. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my rifle." (Winchester Model 94 30-30 Cal., loaded with Winchester Silver Tips, no doubt).
9. Beware the man who only has one gun. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT!
10. I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in the house. To which I said I did. She said "well I certainly hope it isn't loaded!" To which I said, "of course it is loaded." She then asked, "Are you that afraid of some one evil coming into your house?" My reply was, "No not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching on fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and THEY ARE ALL LOADED."
Regards, Wil Taylor
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KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
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1. If you do not drink, smoke or have wild sex, you do not live longer, it just seems like it.
2. (Serious note) Ubique Quo Fas Et Gloria Ducunt (Everywhere Whither Right and Glory Lead)
Royal Artillery motto
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wait and see what amateurs cost you.
~ Unknown
<<A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend
will be sitting beside you saying " Damn that was fun!" - Unknown>>
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Love it.
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Beware the lollipop of mediocrity, one lick and you'll suck forever.
Hg
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RE: Mottoes
Unfortunately "It is a mathematical fact that 50% of doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class, assuming all students pass and become doctors" isn't such a snappy motto!
Been gone for a while but gotta say that you are right, this isn't at all snappy......
Wecos and Sompt, good points. I agree with Wecos and Sompt everyone knows that the admissions officers always make sure that only an even number of students are admitted each year to avoid any such trivial arguments (also failing and student transfers are always done in a multiple of 2)
And for everyone else.....
"It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class."
as previously discussed, but for statisticians
"It is a mathematical fact that 1% percent of all statisticians graduate in the bottom half of their class, the rest are taken care of by a standard binomial distribution."
Kevin
"It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class." ~Author Unknown
"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." ~Author Unknown
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-- Albert Einstein
I've always found inspiration in this quote but now I've taken pause to evaluate my metacognative skills. At least I still know why God invented beer...
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"Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood" Daniel Burnham (architect)
"Communism doesn't work. People like to own things." Frank Zappa
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-George Box
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"When I was sixteen, I thought my dad was the stupidest man in the world.
When I turned 21, I was amazed how much he had learned in five years."
My motto is "There is nothing more expensive in this world than a free lunch."
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"Behold, the fool saith, 'Put not all thine eggs in the one basket'--which is but a manner of saying, 'Scatter your money and your attention', but the wise man saith, 'Put all your eggs in the one basket and WATCH THAT BASKET."
- Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
"The Mississippi will always have its own way; no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise..."
- Autobiograhy
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All progress requires change. But not all change is progress." --John Wooden, legendary basketball coach
WE TRAINED HARD --- BUT IT SEEMED THAT EVERY TIME WE BEGAN TO FORM UP INTO TEAMS WE WOULD BE REORGANIZED. I WAS TO LEARN LATER IN LIFE THAT WE TEND TO MEET ANY NEW SITUATION BY REORGANIZING: AND A WONDERFUL METHOD IT CAN BE FOR CREATING THE ILLUSION OF PROGRESS WHILE PRODUCING CONFUSION, INEFFICIENCY AND DEMORALIZATION."
--PETRONIUS ARBITER??? [210 B.C.]
Regards, Wil Taylor
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Yogi Berra. (Baseball player)
"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? "
Will Rogers.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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There's the right way, the wrong way and the army way.
KENAT,
Have you reminded yourself of FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies recently?
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Regards, Wil Taylor
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JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before. Mark Twain
So I wonder where the Aussies fall in this?
Luck is a difficult thing to verify and therefore should be tested often. - Me
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Ciao.
RE: Mottoes
Luck is a difficult thing to verify and therefore should be tested often. - Me
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From Red Dwarf: "Smoke me a Kipper, Ill be back for breakfast".
"Why have a Dog when you can bark yourself".
A modern favorite of mine: "Its not the size of the Dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the Dog".
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Awesome.
KENAT,
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(I must dig out my complete series 1-6 12 VHS set. Or throw out!)
- Steve
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or
-On Time
-Under Budget
-To Spec
..pick any two.
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SIAG (Scheme In A Grid)
JHG
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See:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Q.E.D.
And (RE: GeekKing / 4 Aug 08 19:43) "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get"
My aunt has had that one on her fridge for many years now. Now I am trying desperately to recall the only Latin phrase I ever memorized as a child (40 yrs ago)~
Something like: "Brevis esse laborio, obscurio fio"...(?) which means something to the tune of: "The more I labor to be brief, the more obscure I become." [Any Latin majors out there, please re-set this fading memory!]
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"If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe." -- Abraham Lincoln
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RE: Mottoes
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KENAT,
Have you reminded yourself of FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies recently, or taken a look at http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?
RE: Mottoes
Hg
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If it still does not fit, get a bigger hammer.
If it still does not fit, it was not meant to be.
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In good old times the latin was compulsory in grade 7 to 9. So was the Russian as second language. I still remember few things...
gr2vessels
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"That which does not kill us makes us stronger".
Mark
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----------------------------------
If we learn from our mistakes I'm getting a great education!
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"Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you are a ..."
Joe
SW Office 2008 SP4.0
P4 3.0Ghz 3GB
ATI FireGL X1
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"Beat your wife every morning. You may not know why, but she does."
If you "heard" it on the internet, it's guilty until proven innocent. - DCS
http://www.eng-tips.com/supportus.cfm
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JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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(As quoted by Pongo Twistleon's uncle Fred (Lord Ickenham) at Blandings Castle.)
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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"You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it glitter"
Very apt here.
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"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" - The Great Mae West
More serious,
"The more I know, the more I realize I don't know."
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What a concept.
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No trees were destroyed in the sending of this message. However a few electrons were temporarily excited...
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Beer is life. The rest is details.
----------------------------------
If we learn from our mistakes I'm getting a great education!
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I have used this as a tag line on various messaging systems. I made it up, but it is a pretty obvious joke, so I am sure someone got there ahead of me.
JHG
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My personal motto is from the Three Stooges:
"I'm thinking, but nothing's happening."
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Presidential Mottoe's
Clinton- "I did not inhale"
W. Bush- "I did not exhale"
B. Obama- "What the hale?"
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"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand"
Something else from him, slightly off topic in that it isn't a motto, but chillingly apropos to the times;
"The chief weapon of sea pirates... was their capacity to astonish. Nobody else could believe, until it was too late, how heartless and greedy they were." (From Breakfast of Champions)
"If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe." -- Abraham Lincoln
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RE: Mottoes
The Barbary Pirates had it good because the major powers were too busy fighting a war and it was left to neutral America to sort out the pirates.
This time around we need another nation to step up to the plate, the US is busy in Iraq and Afghanistan and, of course, this is Somalia..... after the battle of Mogadishu, I think the US wants nothing more to do with the place.
Any nominations?
Who could sort it out without taking a small mess and making it a bigger mess?
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Mottoes
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"People who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do."
tom
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Play by the rules, but be ferocious. --Phil Knight, NIKE
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny." --Kim Hubbard
May you live every day of your life." --Jonathan Swift
Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to simple stupidity. – unknown
Regards, Wil Taylor
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Drugs are for people who can't handle reality. Or, conversely; Reality is for people who can't handle drugs. - unknown
And one of my favorites by Vonnegut, also my favorite author, "We could have saved the earth, but we were too damn cheap".
Check out the attached PDF titled, "You Can't Handle the Truth". You structural folk will get a kick out of this one.
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Youth is wasted on the young.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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If it ain't broke - don't fix it.
NEVER start a plumbing project unless the hardware store will be open for eight more hours!!
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I was laughing so loud and hard at your last one that I couldn't even read it out loud to the wife. When she finally came over and read it for herself, she only said "how true" and then rhetorically asked HOW MANY times I had started a plumbing project only to be thwarted by the closing of the hardware store(s). I have WAY too many stories to tell-most I am not proud of.
This one shouldn't be just a motto, it should be the Fourth Law of Thermodynamics.
rmw
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The hexes are not standard inch sizes, no model numbers etc. on the faucets so that you can't buy parts before taking it apart, and so forth.
Regards,
Mike
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I always liked this one. Giants, of course, being the likes of Galileo & Kepler.
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"War does not determine who is right - only who is left." Bertrand Russell.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
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- Homer Simpson
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K.I.S.S
No matter how foolproof it is, some fool will break it.
Murphy rules!
Work smart, not hard.
( not sure if the latin is correct but, here goes)Ex liber, scientia, ex scientia, libertas.(from books, knowledge, from knowledge, freedom.)
(One of my favourites), You have the right to believe anything you like, no matter how silly I think it is.
Theory tells you how it is supposed to work, practice tells you whether it actually does.
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If it wasn't for bad luck, I would have no luck at all...
Homer Simpson
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Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.
tom
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--Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.
from Mark Twain's "Following the Equator"
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"Never Underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers." - Author Unknown
"Anyone who attempts to make something foolproof underestimates the ingenuity of fools." - Author Unknown
From our current Engineering Manager - "Why would you do that? That's like wiping your butt before you poop."
Actual exchange I had with a vendor -
Me - "I'm pretty sure this feature is out of print"
Them - "Well, we're not capable of making that feature to print."
Me - "So you're saying that it's out of print?"
Them - "No. We're saying we're not capable."
RE: Mottoes
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Your list includes:
which reminds me of this one, quoted to me many years ago but I have no idea who it should be attributed to:"Americans don't solve problems, they overwhelm them."
PS what is a secretary?
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Mottoes
"No sense in going after brain damage"
"No good deed goes unpunished"
"He wouldn't be happy if he was hung with a new rope"
"Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while"
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on"
"One man's meat is another man's poison, or, kitty heaven is mousie hell"
"The client who pays the least complains the most"
"It is easier to get forgiveness than permission"
"If you are going to buy a dead horse, make sure you either know CPR or where to sell the parts"
"Find an accountant who wants to win the Pulitzer Prize for fiction"
"The large print giveth and the small print taketh away"
"The best time to sell a horse is before it dies"
"Don't hold a $1000 meeting to solve a $100 problem"
"The empty can makes the loudest noise"
"This is probably as bad as it can get, but don't count on it"
"You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks"
Don't try to teach a pig to dance. It won't work and you'll just end up annoying the pig"
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I have a vague recollection of a poster showing the "Ideal NATO" officer that combined the perceived characteristics of each nation. Naturally, there was 'humorous as a German' with a cartoon of a German standing there puzzled whilst all about were convulsed with laughter, I think 'relaxed as a Turk' with Turk in full dress uniform at a party, and as inhibited as a Dane (shown in full party mode). IIRC, the American quality was something like 'flexibility' accompanied by a very angry US officer pointing at a page on a very thick manual, whilst the Brit was doing the opposite. I've had a quick google but can't find it.
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3: The perfect NATO member should be.... calm as a Canadian, flexible as an American, generous as a Dutchman, sober as a Norwegian, discreet as a Dane, reserved as an Italian, straightforward as a Brit, active as a Spaniard, organized as a Greek, relaxed as a Turk, conspicuous as a Luxembourgian, intelligible as an Icelander, humble as a Frenchman, technical as a Portuguese, available as a Belgian, humorous as a German.
but not the cartoon
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At 74th year working on IR-One2 PhD from UHK - - -
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"Try to learn something about everything and everything about something"
"An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions"
"Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to get leisure"
"Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress"
Kristine
Legazpi City Philippines
West Palm Beach, Fl, USA
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The harder they hit
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For many years we had a sticker on the back of the car:
"Avenge yourself - live long enough to be a problem to your children"
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"Some people are like slinkies; they don't really have a purpose, but they still bring a big smile to your face when you push them down stairs!"
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(https://w
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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But those years aren't added when you are in your 20's and partying every night.
They are added on at the end, when you are sitting at the nursing home, dirtying your pants.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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"The future isn't what it used to be."
I like the linking of past, present and future into this concise and profound expression. It is worth printing this out on the cover of every new project file because barely a day will go by when some small change or little bit of sales and marketing tinkering will case the project objectives to shift.
Read it every time you pick up the file and it will remind you to keep on top of changes and think though the consequences.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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"Labor Vincit Omnia" latin for "work conquers all" good to remember these days especially
and:
"If you think an expert's expensive, wait till you hire an amateur."
Red Adair
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He is an engineer.
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"I'm not a vegetarian because I dislike meat, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
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(Yokum family motto from Li'l Abner by Al Capp)
BA
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John
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~Popeye The Sailor
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I had a previous boss that used to say,
"Don't ever go with an assumption, because then you'll make an ass out of u and umption."
If you "heard" it on the internet, it's guilty until proven innocent. - DCS
http://www.eng-tips.com/supportus.cfm
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I'll try and keep that one in mind as well.
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"If you didn't get what you wanted, you didn't tell a good enough story."
I've never doubted her on this....
Regards,
Mike
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- Steve
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"Nobody has ever been let down by underestimating the intelligence of the masses." or something similiar. I believe it was during an interview in discussing possible legislation to solve a problem...
-- MechEng2005
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Warren Zevong (sp?)
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Mamsy
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"Go ugly early."
"There are two certainties in life: death and nurses."
"There are two kinds of women in life: those who do and those who haven't been asked properly."
- Steve
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Red Adair
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Tobalcane
"If you avoid failure, you also avoid success."
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"Fast, Cheap and Easy...pick any two"
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Sorry, it should've read:
"Fast, Cheap and GOOD...pick any two".
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- as used by the US Navy, for example.
OK, I know that'll come as a surprise to all those of you who believe military contracts are usually based on commercial price x 10 (or x 100) but I guess they mean in relative terms i.e. relative to other kit they are offered, not relative to commercial prices.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Mottoes
jmw, don't get me started on under appreciation of why mil stuff is so much more expensive than apparantly equivalent civil stuff.
KENAT,
Have you reminded yourself of FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies recently, or taken a look at posting policies: http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?
What is Engineering anyway: FAQ1088-1484: In layman terms, what is "engineering"?
RE: Mottoes
gr2vessels
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"The drip on this side of the faucet betrays the flood that waits behind it."
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Yoda
"An expert is a drip under pressure"
Bubba Maccann
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"I don't want it right, I want it tomorrow!"
Quite right too, when properly applied.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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"Ageing is inevitable, growing up is optional."
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"Assumption" is the mother of all f#%k-ups!
You can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which fills up first.
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Love, love, love Wodehouse and Shakespeare, but the Bible beat them both to that paraphrased ditty.
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your second motto is one of my mother's standards, hey, are you my brother?
One of my favorites:
"We have a strange and unique relationship-you are strange and i am unique"
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Do remind me, which ditty is it?
Of course, the one we should all be familiar with but haven't mentioned is:
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
I think Boeing produced some frightful statistic that said 80%(or some large figure) of failures were caused by maintenance. If anyone knows the source of that please let us know.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Mottoes
"There is nothing either good or bad....(Hamlet) as quoted by Pongo...
Of course this morning, I couldn't find the scripture reference, but I'll keep looking.
One of my personal favorites:
A journey of a thousand miles begins with my Dad saying "I know a shortcut"
We ended up at Peachbottom Atomic Resarch Center that way once.
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Wonder if this explains in part why we insist repeating errors.
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drawn to design, designed to draw
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"Any resemblance to the drawing is strictly coincidental"
it took a few doozies before I realized he wasn't joking
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Mark
www.bensonglobal.com
RE: Mottoes
Apparently a strategy from his nightclubbing days... as soon as you get to the club you grab the first ugly bird you see and then you've got your evening sorted.
Your mates (he says) then think you're an idiot for picking a dog and spend their entire evening looking for Top Totty and coming up blank.
A pragmatic, effective and somewhat daunting approach.
Low standards equals high success rate?
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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- Steve
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The second part of the expression (according to my highly sucessful friend who first described the tactic to me) is "They are so much more appreciative." I never asked him if his wife was an early bird.
- Steve
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I'm tempted to go for the "great minds think alike" defence but....
On the other hand, Evolution does play a part; this is probably why the population ain't getting any prettier or any brighter; for that we can probably blame you, the Hamster and your friend.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Mottoes
"Assumption" is the mother all F#$#-UPs!
You don't have to agree with me. You have the right to be wrong.
2% of the people think.
5% think they think
93% would rather be dead than think! (From a college philosophy professor)
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Fe
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-Wilde
drawn to design, designed to draw
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-my wife
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Cyril Guichard
Defense Program Manager
Belgium
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- Steve
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JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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If you "heard" it on the internet, it's guilty until proven innocent. - DCS
http://www.eng-tips.com/supportus.cfm
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"When all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail"
"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience - well, that comes from poor judgment."
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BA
RE: Mottoes
Stop reading it then.
Others may enjoy it still.
Dan
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BA