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EU adopting English as the official language?

EU adopting English as the official language?

EU adopting English as the official language?

(OP)
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which
was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou"

and after zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a rel sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.

The best way to test something is to squeeze it, slowly, until it breaks!

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

I was laughing so hard I was crying...

"Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?" Oddball, "Kelly's Heros" 1970

Please see FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies for tips on how to make the best use of the Eng-Tips Forums.
 

 
 

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

This post finds its way onto this fourm every year or so, and I as I always do, I'll point out that it is an adaption of

Meihem In Ce Klasrum, by Dolton Edwards, first published in 1946

http://www.angelfire.com/va3/timshenk/codes/meihem.html

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

Too funny

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

This is a riot, even if it is old. I especially like how it ends up like German anyway.
 Then there are we Californians who are being increasingly pressured to dump English in favor of Spanish. It is becomimg more and more a requisite for attaining jobs.

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

I feel sorry for Californians, if thats required to get a jobs.

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

Why not have both Spanish and English.  Wonder if Arnie can still speak German.

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

Well, I can understand why Spanish is becoming a requirement in California.  If I owned and ran a shop in Berlin, I sure as heck would insist that my counter clerks speak German.  If my shop were on the German/French border, I'd probably look for someone who spoke German and French.  Competitive businesses typically must run as efficiently as possible to survive, and communication is part of that.  Unless you have some efficiencies of scale, technological advantages, etc. that can somehow offset and allow you to afford the inefficiencies inherent in translation, not speaking the same language as your customers/clients will doom you.

I will mercifully punt on and ignore any discussion about the prevailing environments and their causes.  Another discussion, another more suitable place.

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

I have no problem with a business giving preference to bilingual employees--they should do whatever makes sense to help their competitive advantage.

What I hate is for the government of the United States to spend a single penny of my tax dollars to accommodate people who don't speak English--it is wasteful and counter productive.  Assimilation of all the cultures of the world into US society has made us so much stronger than we ever could have been otherwise.  Pandering to individuals who haven't bothered to take the first step towards assimilation is a perfect way to sow the seeds of this country's destruction.

I don't want to see Spanish versions of any government document or sign.  I don't want to see schools teaching non-language courses in Spanish.  This is the US, and the price of admission is learning English.  Each deviation from that is tearing the very fabric of the country to shreds.

One thing that makes me furious about today's stupid trends is that when the predominate immigrant population in California was Chinese, no one ever proposed printing tax forms or street signs in Mandarin.

David

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

Quote (zdas04):

the predominate immigrant population in California was Chinese, no one ever proposed printing tax forms or street signs in Mandarin.
That is probably because many overseas Chinese are illiterate in Chinese.  I am and so are my kids.  We can recognize a few words here and there and can write our names but that is as far as it goes.  Many can't even speak their own dialect, let alone write Chinese.

Anyway, street names in Chinese aren't always the same as street names in English.  Something like Johnson Street may be known as Truck Depot Street in Chinese because there used to be a Truck Depot there 30 years ago.  Even in the far east, a major road in Penang, Malaysia is known literally as Sultan's Car Breakdown Road - the road where a visiting Sultan's car broke down 10 years ago.

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

Weren't California, and several other US states originally part of Mexico, which were increasingly settled by foreign English speakers until they had a large majority and they chose to leave Mexico join the US?
Sounds like just desserts to me!

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

Carparkio

Ysbytl

being two of my favourite welsh signs.

Cheers

Greg Locock

SIG:Please see FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

Zdas,

There are sections of town here in Houston where the street signs are in Chinese... Not sure what dialect..

"Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?" Oddball, "Kelly's Heros" 1970

Please see FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies for tips on how to make the best use of the Eng-Tips Forums.
 

 
 

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

I've been taken around South Chicago districts where there's no evidence of English anywhere.  It was really educational and interesting.

- Steve

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

Down town Vietnamese

West side of town Chinese

"Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?" Oddball, "Kelly's Heros" 1970

Please see FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies for tips on how to make the best use of the Eng-Tips Forums.
 

 
 

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

Does US downtown = UK town/city centre?  I'm not up with this terminology.

Is US uptown the suburbs?  Always wondered what Billy Joel was singing about.  It is just a girl from the suburbs?

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

xwb, typically I'd say you're correct.

As to Billy Joel?

KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

downtown =  town/city centre
AKA CBD; central business district

RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

Not all cities have "uptown".  In Manhattan (which I think Billy Joel was referring to, since he's from Long Island), "downtown" is at the southern tip of the island, "midtown" north of that, and "uptown" north of that.

Hg

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RE: EU adopting English as the official language?

In the US, downtown also means the city center.  For example, downtown Brooklyn refers to the Brooklyn city center (from when Brooklyn was still a city) even though downtown Brooklyn is at the west end of Long Island.

If you ride the subways or cabs in Manhattan, the terms uptown and downtown refer to the direction of travel as well as general areas of the island.  The term Mid-town can be misleading.  It is not half way between the northern and southern tips of the island.  The Mid-town tunnel is at 34th Street and the northern tip of the island is at 220th street.

The terms uptown and downtown also denote a class distinction.  In Manhattan, uptown was where the rich people lived (upper west side) and downtown was where the poor people lived (lower east side.)  I don’t think this distinction is true anymore although the terms are still used.

I think Billy Joel's use of "uptown girl" referred to an upper class rich girl.

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