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How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?
2

How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

(OP)
Everything is in the title, but just to explain the context:

There are 2 socially handicapped people in the company where I work (> 100 people). They are not engineers but  work in departments that often tend to consider themselves as the center of the universe instead of a unit that is supposed to provide service to internal customers (at the risk of gravely insulting somebody, I add that it's the accounting dept and the lab smile ). Both tend to get on my nerves with their clumsily aggressive reactions whenever they think they smell a request for work coming.

I consider them both socially handicapped and so far I've "forgiven" their uncooperative behavior, knowing that I will have it my way in any case by simply sending work requests to their boss, but sometimes I have an almost irresistible urge to be as childish as they are and send a gravely insulting response, cc'ing the entire planet. However, French is not my native language and I have to think hard before I find a truly beautiful sarcastic answer worth to be sent, usually long after the urge has disappeared again. I'm also afraid I would regret any childish response in writing from my side later on, as it would put me on the same pathetic level as these 2 poor things. Sending an unemotional and understanding response like "listen, you may not realise, but I don't really appreciate the way you write to me" somehow does not sound like it would make any difference to these socially handicapped. Neither do I count on their bosses to be able to change anything in their behavior, I do not even feel like trying, after all we're not in kindergarden anymore.

So my strategy so far is to not waste time on them and ignore them, but I was wondering if anyone had any better (more satisfying) ideas...? If you don't but have to deal with this species as well, please feel free to rant...

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

We are serviced by another department in that we are their customers and without us, they'd not have employment.  However, this is not always understood by (one of) them, who seems to think that if we didn't insist on using their equipment, they wouldn't have to waste their time looking after it.  Bad supplier.

I have a colleague who expects everyone to simply drop what they are doing and help him.  And if the help doesn't satisfy, the helper is at fault.  Bad customer.

The solution: bring bad customer to bad supplier, sit back and take in the fireworks.

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

Hey, Ep, you need to go work out more to relieve that pent-up anger you have.

This happens everywhere, all the time, forever.  Shouldn't, but does.  The true cause is the department managers who probably are worthless and haven't properly done their job, instructing their troops on how to provide service to other departments.

DON'T write poison pen letters, ever.  You'll regret it.

Suggestions:
(1) speak directly with the people and try to build a relationship or a discussion like "I don't understand the hostility I'm receiving from you.  What can we do to make this better?"
(2) Discuss with your boss, have him discuss with their boss.

Both strategies have worked for me in the past.

TygerDawg
Blue Technik LLC
Advanced Robotics & Automation Engineering
www.bluetechnik.com

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

Simple solution!

Trick an intern into writing your e-mail for you.  Then you are in the clear.  :)

Or ignore it...

Depends on how evil you are feeling at the time.

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

I agree with tygerdawg and would add this thought.  Is there something you are doing in your submission of requests for work that may be outside of the "normal" format that they expect?  Perhaps not a well phrased question so I will follow up with a couple of personal examples.

I have worked with several highly detail oriented individuals (one ran a lab, several others were in charge of ECO changes), that would virtually throw a fit if something did not fit their expected routines.  This could be as simple as how a change request was formatted or the information contained in a work request.  It can take a long time but I eventually figured out how to deal with them.  In one case it was the individual's view that consistent formatting of drawing changes makes it easy to review and preserve the change history.  For the lab person, it was the fact that he had a difficult time with changes to his work priorities and did not receive much assistance from his boss on scheduling work.

If they sound like this type of personality, try to find out what they need in order to perform and if necessary "spoon feed" them for a while.  If you make such an effort, it is possible they might loosen up just a bit.

Regards,

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

"French is not my native language and I have to think hard before I find a truly beautiful sarcastic answer worth to be sent,"

The first thing that came to mind was Monty Python's "The Holy Grail" where they come up against the French in the castl.  The French would banter the English and Monty and his knights are aghast at their bodily comments. lol

Tobalcane
"If you avoid failure, you also avoid success."

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

The ideal place for witty sarcastic emails at the expense of colleagues is in the "Draft" folder of your email account, shortly followed by being transferred to "Trash". Trust me on this.


Cheers

Greg Locock

Please see FAQ731-376: Eng-Tips.com Forum Policies for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

epoisses,

I think I used to be like these people you talk about.

Is it possible that they have a lot of other work you dont know about and the reason why they are uncooperative is that they are under a lot of pressure from different angles?

Think of it from their perspective, if your client came to you with the attitude 'you need us to justify your existence' then you would be abit edgy too.

csd

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

epoisses,

I have had the privilege of working with one or two people like you have described and the only lesson I have learned is that it has never been worth my while getting involved in there petty little lives. I have lost time in my life that I will never get back and has never enhanced my time on this planet in any way.

Best advise...

Head down and worry about your own problems and try not to let those people become one of your problems

Kevin

“Insanity in individuals is something rare, but in groups, parties, nations and epochs it is the rule” Nietzsche

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

...and document and unfilled requests that effect your own work.

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

well, if nothing else, ep, you have given me a great smile this morning!

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

Someone said, and I'll bugger this up badly - "never argue with idiots, you'll be on their level and they'll beat you with experience every time."  Trust me, you can usually work things, I've done this time and again with people; most can be reasoned with, some just won't try and aren't worth it.

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

Never argue with an idiot. They'll bring you down to their level and beat you with experience every time.

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

"Never wrestle with a pig in the mud. They just enjoy it and you just get dirty"

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?


epoisses,  Let me see if I understand the situation.  You have one lab technician and one accounting clerk who, for unknown reasons, throws a roadblock up whenever you have a specific request.  You’ve discussed/mentioned this to each person’s direct supervisor, who has not managed (made any effort) to change the situation.

You don’t have a problem with the lab or accounting person.  Who knows what personal issues each may have.  You have a problem with their respective supervisors.  A boss that allows that kind of destructive behavior is not an effective manager.  He has an option.  Send each to the unemployment line.

I’d expend my efforts on their supervisors.  Every time you have ‘an incident’, discuss the problem with the department head.  i.e. “ I tried to give Mary in the lab several samples for testing and she told me to go pound cinders.  This testing is for one of our most important Clients.  I know this makes if difficult for me, but I can’t be the only one affected.  It also makes your department look bad.  What can I do to help...”  You get the idea.  No sarcasm, no whining.  Make an token effort, then let it slide and go work

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

epoisses, you're lucky that you only have 2.  I sometimes think most of the people here fall into that category.

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

(OP)
Thanks all, I am feeling better already (also thanks to a good night of sleep).

casseopeia, I agree with you re the supervisors, but being a relatively small unknown company, we just can't find and hire a 200% perfect person, we have to live with the people we have, who are otherwise quite competent in several ways but not every. (How to find and hire the perfect engineer would be a new interesting thread).

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

well some of the replies might lead to the suggestion that we only see our own side of the problem (first rule for a sanity check: Everybody else seems crazy...)

Best regards

Morten

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

epoisses,

'How to find and hire the perfect engineer would be a new interesting thread'

Too easy....

The answer is ME

Kevin

“Insanity in individuals is something rare, but in groups, parties, nations and epochs it is the rule” Nietzsche

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

No fair prohammy, you beat me to it.

MortenA, you know I thought the same thing as I put my post.  If almost everyone else seems problematic maybe I'm the problem.

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

I don't have too many internal issues like this, but I do have some suppliers that make me jump through hoops to get pricing or parts.  Not only that, it seems like whenever I get a part from them it is just slightly off, but enough so that I cannot use it.

What I did was start CC'ing their 'bosses' on email and that seemed to help.  Now when I do talk to their 'bosses' they ask me if I got the right part for this or that... worked well.  

People seem to act differently when they know that their superiors will find out.

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

casseopeia
Your right on.  I would emphasise that it's a problem that WE have ( not their department) and it makes US ( the company ) look bad.  
Personally I think the situation might respond to ranting and raving, pounding on the desk and a few words that are unknown to a sailors parrot. Explain to them that if the company goes belly up you as a ChemE will have another job, they as clerks etc. will wind up at the local 7-11. You are willing to help them.  Then given them the boatanalogy, "Wer're all in a big boat with 20 oars on a side, we are going upstream and were 1/4 mile upstream from a waterfall. Pull you %&@@ oar or get out of the boat. "  It's fun and you can use you acting experience, don't really loose your cool.

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

I call them 'shitlers', they're young, they're in charge, they're everywhere. Writing to them is a waste of time, arguing with them is a waste of time.

Never raise your voice, ask for their specific objection, repeat it back to them and say thanks then I always ask for their supervisor. I love making sure I understand all the nuances, wording and clauses, sub-sections etc. Ask if there is anything else. I had to do this with a 20 year old telling me I could not get a licence to practice and no she didn't have a supervisor. I just pleasantly asked for someone else then on another matter. I got referred to another department and re-routed to another person in the original department where I was able to repeat verbatim what I was told and I was kindly helped.

This also happened in Holland, typical of any bureaucracy worldwide, an unqualified 19 year old 'civil' servant could decide whether I could stay in Holland (she said no, her supervisor said yes) or whether, ny Dutch law, I am the father of the children (he said no, supervisor said yes). Shitlers. the power goes to their heads, they do not believe in teams.

First, I aim for a win-win deal and get that supervisor to follow up. Secondly, if I am going to lose my rag it's going to be with someone closer to my level then I do BJC's routine.

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?


Avast BJC,

Ye be a sharp-tongued salty dog!   But ye let the plunderin’ scallywag in the lab and accounting off easy.  Are ye addled by ye grog?  The bilge-suckin’ weevel shagger must be keelhauled, or impaled upon th’ bowsprit as an example to allll.  There be no oars upon this pirate ship!  Accept no quarter.....arrrrgggggh

The Foul Temptress Conniving Cassanrdra (just getting ready for a performance at this weekend’s County Fair.  Your boat analogy put me in the pirate mood)

Now where's me hair o' th' dog.....

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

Aye.  Casseopia.  Running a tight ship requires a tool box with more than jars of honey in it.  
Tis your first job to keep the ship from hitting a rock, sinking, or sliding back over the falls. When you need drastic action and ye open your tool kit and find none but jars of honey ye be SOL.   Ye may offend or upset the tender hearts of some "socially handicapped"  lubbers but yer job be to get the ship and yer trusty crew to the next port upstream.  I ner had a job where I was paid to be loved.
we can continue this conversation Sept. 19th.  

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

Arrr.  But a real pirate need say nothing else, it's all in the inflection, intonation, and facial expression when delivering the line.  Arr!

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

Give me a break;
Will you guys quit tripping over your tongue trying to impress the belly dancer?

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?


Monkeydog,

I’m sorry.  Once again I am the instigator.  I should be lashed wit’ yer cat o’ nine tails.

I blame my rather hazy state of mind this morning, caused by a very late night rehearsing, a bit too much drink afterward, and a large fire less than 1/4 mile from my house that caused us to have a reason to stay away.

For some reason some of us (me) thought it would be interesting to try drinking rum, just like our pirate characters would.  BIG, BIG mistake.

As I read my first post, epoisses, I see that my last word was cut off.  I wasn't suggesting that you weren't working.  I meant to say 'work out'.  Physical exercise will help relieve at least a bit of your frustration.

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

RE: How much credit do you give to socially handicapped people?

casseopeia, you go right on being the instigator.  Made me grin big time reading this thread, and today I needed a reason to grin.  See, here it is <GRIN!>

debodine

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