work after having baby
work after having baby
(OP)
I have been working with my company for about half a year and is my first engineering job. I just found out that I am pregnant with my first child (very scared). I am really against daycare for personal reasons and would want to stay at home with my baby until he/she goes into school (about 4 or five years). I am worried that with less than a year of experience and then 4 or 5 years off that once I am ready to get back to work I will have an extremely hard time finding someone that will take me on. Are employers understanding of this type of situation, should I really reconsider daycare, go back to school so that I am not completely out of touch? I would appreciate opinion of someone who is in position of hiring or anyone.





RE: work after having baby
If geography and time permit, school is a good option. This will allow you to stay current (or even progress) and still spend enough time at home.
Staying home to raise a child is a good reason to not have a job (notice I didn't say "not work"). It should be perfectly acceptable to any reasonable potential employer.
Contract work is a good way to get back into the job market if there are some gaps in your work history. If your spouse has insurance, then you can opt for more money and fewer benefits.
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RE: work after having baby
I probably will take a beating for this post, but in my opinion you needn't worry. I think that you have your priorities exactly right, and in 4 or 5 years there will probably be even greater demand for your skills than there is right now. With the ever increasing demand for diversity in engineering, there will continue to be high demand for women engineers.
I would start with your current company and see what if anything they can do to work with you in a telecommuting or part time arrangement. If that doesn't work, I would stay involved in the field as much as possible, attend a couple conferences each year, take a course here and there if possible so that when you are ready to go back to work that you can demonstrate that you aren't too rusty. At some point when you are settled down and are a bit more comfortable with your situation you might also look at part time or contract assignments that you can do from home. Hey, for that matter start your own consulting business, even if you don't have very many clients, at least it demonstrates that you remained involved and interested.
But enjoy the ride, investing in children is a very worthwhile endevor.
-The future's so bright I gotta wear shades!
RE: work after having baby
Having a baby is pretty full time..obviously having never done it.. However...
When the time comes for you to inform your company - like when it is obvious - you might explore the possiblity of job-sharing/splitting (4 hours a day), part-time work, work from home, etc. Do this only if you are really interested. Some companies can be VERY accomodating!! Most aren't.
And good luck.
RE: work after having baby
When I'm interviewing, I wouldn't hold the fact that someone chose to stay home against them. What might hurt you is losing touch with the industry a little. If there is something that you can do to keep up, whether that is school, contract work, or working part time, that would probably make you much more marketable in the future. You obviously won't keep up with your counterparts now, and you will need to be prepared to start back near or at the bottom again.
If you feel strongly about not using daycare, obviously, you shouldn't be guilted into reconsidering.
Perhaps you could find another mom you could co-op with who has a baby similar in age? Or some similar option to traditional daycare which would allow you to work a day a week or so to keep up your experience. Some employers might be open to working from home a couple days a week. Other employers allow their employees to bring the baby to work for the first few months - before they learn to crawl and move around. Do a bit of reseach, you never know what options might be available to you. And if none of it appeals to you, stay home. Then when you are ready to go back to work, you can figure out the details.
RE: work after having baby
I think the trick will be to stay current in engineering and develop your skills. Sorry, I don't see an easy solution. Hopefully somebody will have a more positive suggestion. Judging by my friends with kids, even 4 hours a day at work is unlikely until they are at least 3 years old.
Depending on your employment laws and contracts, try and sort this out NOW with your current employer.
Cheers
Greg Locock
Please see FAQ731-376 for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.
RE: work after having baby
Houston Texas, MS in materials, working for a large oil company, all of that is possible.
Small town Pennsylvania, BS degree, maybe not.
Bottom line is that women engineers in the US have lots of opportunities and options. Even with six months experience there are large companies that would hire her on a contract or consulting basis in order to make their contracting EEO targets. Even if she lives in small town Pennsylvania, and the company is in Houston Texas. Right or wrong the opportunities are out there. Carpe Diem!
-The future's so bright I gotta wear shades!
RE: work after having baby
Look into working virtual (office at home). It has become more common throughout the industry.
Chris
SolidWorks 06 5.1/PDMWorks 06
AutoCAD 06
ctopher's home (updated 02-10-07)
RE: work after having baby
Congrats.
I can sympathise a little with how you will be feeling as I am expecting baby number 2 in a couple of months.
I think for us girls this is a hard decision no matter what profession you are in, but because engineering is typically male orientated anyway, there is not the support around you that perhaps in other professions you might get. (There is no way in my comany when there are 50 males and 2 female engineers that I am in a strong position to push for subsidised day care or paid maternity leave).
I took 3 months off to have number one, and then when she was 11 weeks old I went back to work full time. This was a personal choice for a number of reasons including: I love my job (I am not a stay at home coffee group kind of girl I need more stimulation than that), the money is pretty useful (although not totally essential - we could survive on one income) and the main reason for me is my father died when I was very young, leaving my mother with 4 kids, no money, no life insurance and no job. I decided it was very important that I could support my family by myself.
My daughter gets far more stimulation and experiences in daycare than she would at home with me. Sure there are days she doesn't want me to leave her, and times I have to leave a screaming child at the window because I have an urgent meeting to go to (and although I feel rotton I know that in 2 minutes if I peak through the window she is off with her friends having a good time). Generally though, as a working mum I love daycare - to me daycare is easier than having kids at school - you drop them off at 8.00, pick them up at 5.00, whereas school is only from 9.00am until 3.00pm). My daughter's daycare arranges lots of extras like swimming lessons, haircuts etc. I am more worried what I will do when my daughter goes to school in another year.
I would recommendation having a go at working part time if your employer is willing to let you. (I am amazed the number of females I know who DEMAND that they come back part time, without even discussing this - some jobs it is not possible). This would enable you to stay in the work force such that in a few years time you can go back full time if you wish (especially since chances are you'll have more than one child so that will mean 7 or 8 years out the work force, not 5). You'll most likely not get the best and biggest projects to work on but it would keep you current and in the field. Engineering is not a field you learn (or relearn) in a couple of weeks.
Realistically, don't kid yourself that you can work from home, or undertake extensive volumes of study - the only way I can work from home typically is if my daughter is somewhere else.
When number 2 comes along, I will again take 3 months off, before returning to work fulltime. I am currectly working on some pretty big projects so I want to keep in the loop regaarding these (and there really is no one else to do so) so I hope to work a few hours a week from home.
In the end the choice has to be one you are happy with - if you want to stay at home, then do so - don't worry what other people think. As long as you and your husband and baby are happy with the way things are, forget everyone else - we all have different opinions, and you can never keep everyone happy so keep yourself happy. As I saw written somewhere, "the past is gone, the future is unknown, live for now, it is a gift, that is why it is called the present".
Enjoy your baby whichever decision you make.
RE: work after having baby
Cheers
Greg Locock
Please see FAQ731-376 for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.
RE: work after having baby
I disagree with anyone who thinks you can plan on working with an infant at hand. Maybe in a few spurts and jerks here and there, but it totally depends on the baby. My first (son) came out screaming and didn't stop for (no lie) 4.5 months!! And NOTHING made him stop. I begrudgingly returned to work at 3.5 weeks (WAY too soon) b/c my dh lost his job and I was threatened with dismissal (not protected under FMLA b/c I started the job 9 weeks pg - so it had been less than a year). They did work with me during an EXTENDED bedrest (oh, what will you do if that happens? 10 weeks flat of my back to keep from having a preemie!). I had terrible postpartum depression, breastfeeding problems (oh the joyful stories I could tell) and in the middle of that first year of hell, we sold our house and started building a new one - ACK!!! Remember, it does get better. But there is nothing more awful that worrying about babies getting sick (which they do all the time especially in daycare). So even though I am not the SAHM type, I can totally relate to the joy of not having to juggle career on top of it all.
Second baby (daughter) was a much easier pg (although I still puked A LOT, but at least no bedrest). Was at an IECA workshop on Friday, gave birth on Sunday at lunch. LOL She came out and was a dream compared to her brother. When she cried, it was most usually fixable and she slept longer periods of time sooner and was a champ at nursing (practially had to pry her off). I also made a VERY wise decision to take off six weeks and then 4 more part time weeks to ease back into working and by the time she was in daycare fulltime, both of us had acclimated to it. I was ready to be back at work. She will still occassionally cry, but heck - she also cries when I pick her up! Doesn't want to leave!
Every woman, every baby is different. Hard to know what you will think and feel in 9 mo. I have a friend that actually walked away from an engineering sales job to stay at home with HIS daughters (his wife made twice what he did as head of IT for a major hospital). He stayed at home for 4 or 5 years until daughter #2 went to school and worked odd jobs here and there (not engineering) to get out of the house. He made it back into the work force ok, but definitely several notches lower than he would have had he not taken the time off. Such is life. We all make decisions as to what is best for us and for our families. Maybe you will go back to the same type of job, maybe a different type of job. Maybe you will want to consider a masters degree to "freshen up" your skills before returning to work. Maybe you will want to do some part time work. It is hard to say. Only you can know what will work best for you and frankly, you may not even know what THAT is right now.
Best wishes for a happy and healthy 9 mo. I personally hated being pg and the infant stage leaves a lot to be desired. But we just got rid of the last diapers in our house and it is a very fun time to hang out with my kindergartener and preschooler. Love them a lot - and they are only little once.
CL
RE: work after having baby
Montessori stresses tactile learning, has LOTS of props and a relatively structured learning environment.
Another thing to start early with is Yamaha music school. We started our eldest at 4, and while the first 3 years seemed to be low on piano instruction, the ear training that did occur in that time was priceless. He has perfect pitch and is able to figure out how to play songs simply by listening. We missed the boat on the younger one, though.
TTFN
RE: work after having baby
That said, with your experience, it would not appear that you are registered as a PE or P.Eng and that might limit your ability to work from home. You can check with other firms or even your current firm to see if you can do this; with technology, it's easier and easier; I essentially live with my laptop... faxing, email, scanning, preparing reports, offloading photos from my camera, etc. I have of late been working from my home due to my wife's illness. It's difficult, and time consuming, but it can be done. A small home office can be set up with little expense... depending on the work you do. Your office can grow with your child to be. Time management may become an issue...
Dik
RE: work after having baby
My tip would be to have the email addresses of a couple of key colleagues or your boss and pop in to your old workplace on the odd occasion. Even if you end up resigning, hopefully you'll have one friend from that job that may be able to help with a reference later on.
One of my ex-colleague's occasionally passes through and has kept a few friends in the organisation. She also brings the baby and we all get a cuddle.
From what my friends have encountered, being a full-time mum and trying to squeeze in some engineering consulting work is difficult and often to the detriment of time with their partners. Mostly they would start on the work between 10pm and midnight and found it hard to conectrate on it. One woman thrived on it and finished her PhD, another found it very stressful and not worth her time.
Congratulations and good luck!
RE: work after having baby
The reason I say this is because I've seen so many new mothers do an about face right after they have had their first child. One good friend of mine swore she would be back at work in a couple of months. Years and another child later and she's still happily at home. Another thought she would stay home - it turns out she is more like Turbokiwi and was just not built that way. She's also had another child and is still full time in the workforce, having stayed home for 8 weeks for each one.
It's such a personal decision and there's many arguments each way - you've seen several above. Do your research and some soul searching after the stork delivers your precious package...
RE: work after having baby
A future employer MAY view you’re your history negatively in the sense that:
1) If you had planned on starting a family shortly after starting your career, it probably wasn’t a well conceived plan (pardon the pun).
2) If you hadn’t intended to have a child so soon then you were irresponsible.
That said, I still doubt you’d have any trouble getting a job several years down the road if you have any technically competence. I’d like to think smart engineers will always be in demand. I’d say the other thing you’ll always have going for you is your gender but that’s probably only true in some sectors, geographical and industrial, where companies need to balance the workforce.
Not wanting to fuel a long debate about the pros and cons about daycare I’ll quickly offer my experience/advice and be done. My family has done it both ways and we find that a stay at home parent is much more to our liking. Follow through with your plan but add to it any other children you may decide to have, then go back to work.
Kids are a good thing. Best of luck.
RE: work after having baby
1) Easier to get a job when you want to go back.
2) Could easily be done part time.
3) You would continue to grow as an engineer.
4) You get to meet other people in engineering, maybe even find a better job.
If you don't want to leave your child even for part time school, consider a distance education program. A lot of very repuable schools have online programs in engineering these days (although I get the sense that it varies quite a bit in the different fields).
RE: work after having baby
On a different subtopic...
"1) If you had planned on starting a family shortly after starting your career, it probably wasn’t a well conceived plan (pardon the pun).
2) If you hadn’t intended to have a child so soon then you were irresponsible."
I'll grant #1, but anyone who thinks #2 doesn't know much about birth control statistics.
Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376
RE: work after having baby
In the big cities, many professional moms do not have the luxury of staying home for 5 years, though it is ideal for the kids. Many return to work after anywhere from 3 months to a year. If your husband can support both of you, you are in luck. If not, make a deal with your current employer for a maternity leave and afterwords, possible telecommute.
If you had at least 5 years of exprience, taking a 5 year absense from work due to the baby will have less of an impact. But with 6 months of work experience, it will be difficult getting back into the job market. Focus on the baby for a while then as others suggested, go back to school for a higher degree. Alternative is to return to work sooner (say 1 year or so) as a part timer or telecommuter.
Another thing to consider is the disability insurance. I don't have the details but if you were working before the birth of a child, you are eligible for disability benefits for a certain duration while on maternity leave. If you quit before the child birth, I don't think you can claim it. Something to look into. Good luck.
RE: work after having baby
This is a very important decision, I am quite sure you will have a hard time finding a job after 4-5 years that even remotely looks like your current job. It would really be an almost definitive decision to give up your career. Since it's still an early stage I wonder if it wouldn't be better to somewhat postpone the decision.
What if you tried to come to a part-time arrangement with your current employer after your maternity leave and arranged part-time daycare for the kid? That would allow you to wait and see how both your work and daycare turn out to be. Depending on how you like it and how your financial situation is, you can then either increase or decrease the work over baby time ratio.
I would not be too optimistic re avoiding daycare by raising your baby yourself and going back to school at the same time, even with a distance education programme. Raisin a baby is a lot of work, you will be very tired at least the first few months. I have noticed that daycare is actually great fun for many kids. Just give daycare a try before you put your career on the backburner, if you are not yet 100% sure that that is what you really want.
RE: work after having baby
The industry would be foolish to not welcome you back with open arms whenever you decide to return. Perhaps your present employer will not be avaialble; their loss.
RE: work after having baby
Nonsense. The industry would be insane to hire someone who's had 4 or 5 years to forget everything she ever learned in school, and didn't even have much work experience under her belt to help solidify that school learning. Why on earth would they pick this person over soneone fresh out of school? On what grounds could she possibly compete with either new grads or experienced workers?
Nothing wrong with prioritizing family over job, but let's not artificially reassure her. Either choice will have its consequences, both positive and negative.
Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376
RE: work after having baby
As someone doing the hiring who is more attractive.
Person A with 6 month - 1 year of recent experience little or no employment gap.
Person B with 6 month - 1 year of experience 5 years ago and no directly relevant employment experience since.
It may not seem fair or right but I know which way I'd lean, at least initially.
I was told by more than one person (including one giving me an interview) that you should try and make your first post last at least 3-4 years and that this looks more attractive to prospective employees than a shorter period. This isn't always possible and I'm sure there are people here who did'nt do this and don't feel they suffered, but thought I'd add it in.
If you choose to have the gap find a way to stay connected as others suggest, just don't underestimate the time the baby will take. It may not be possible to fit in an entire masters, both for time and cost reasons, but you could perhaps manage one class a semester or something.
Some of the posters seem to underestimate the difficulty of finding any job but then perhaps I'm just not that attractive of an option or not good at job hunting and that's why it took a while to find both my engineering jobs.
Some people act as if you're neglecting you children if you send them to day care from a young age, or at least look on it as less preferential. However, I'm inclined to be a bit more charitable, especially given economic realities and our current culture. Do whatever you think is best based on the information you are able to obtain, that's all any of us can do as parents.
Either way congrats and good luck!
RE: work after having baby
You'll still need to spend some time during that last year re-learning a lot of your undergrad stuff so that you can survive grad school. EIT/FE review books probably covers a lot of ground in a fairly efficient manner. For that matter, if you haven't taken the FE exam, doing that sometime before the grad school application process will help your case for grad school.
By the age of 3 or 4 your child will start having a social life, playdates at other people's houses, etc. You might even find an advantage in sending the kid to daycare part-time for socialization purposes at that age; I know some stay-at-hom parents who do this. That time apart during the day, in combination with Dad having primary responsibility in the evenings, would give you time to yourself to prepare for grad school and applications.
If you have more kids, of course, the whole timeline gets shifted over. Which isn't the end of the world, except for the part about re-learning everything you did for your bachelor's degree. And by then, your thinking about what you want to do for a living may have completely changed anyway.
hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376
RE: work after having baby
Throw in an absence of any type, whether it's a layoff, a return to school, or family leave and you will find yourself having to explain that absence to a prospective employer, because they WILL ask you about it.
Now factor in the fact that her resume will have just one job as a beginning engineer with roughly a year's experience and then a 5+ year absence. In 5 years, if she can say "I decided to return to school for my graduate degree..." rather than "I took 5 years off to raise my family" I think she would make a much better impression during an interview if she truly decides she wants to return to engineering. The reality is, at least in the U.S., that staying home to raise a child (probably the most important thing she will EVER DO in her life!) is not a good career move. Without more experience, she can't have it "all".
Before anyone blasts either me or Hg, take a minute to think about her situation. There are too many factors involved to be able to say with 100% certainty that she'll have no trouble landing a great job in 5 years. What will the economy be like then? Who knows. Is she in a very competitive field with few openings or is her field growing and jobs are plentiful? Would she be willing to relocate her family to go where the jobs are?
Between now and then, another 5 or 6 years' worth of graduates will be out there, fighting with her for the same entry-level (0-3 yrs experience) jobs. But, with a Master's degree and a good transcript, she'll be giving herself the best of both worlds - time to do what is most important to her, raising her baby, and furthering her education which will definitely give her a "leg up" over the competition once she decides to return to engineering work.
I, myself, am female so don't lump me into some kind of chauvinist pig category--I've lived through this. When I interview for a new job, I feel like the person is wondering if I'm married, if I have kids, will I be leaving to have kids, etc. I don't wear a ring, and I have actually had an interviewer ask me what my plans were in this area, which I don't think is legal but what can you say when you are sitting across a desk from someone that you hope to work for???
I took time off to return to college for a master's. I was also laid off from an engineering job and took 2 years there to open my own business. My advice would be to do what she can to keep her resume full during her time away from engineering. Whether it is school or part-time work somewhere, even at her current company (daycare isn't all bad-a few hours a day really does help a child to learn social skills!), she will need to show a continuing drive to remain in her field or she'll be left behind.
RE: work after having baby
RE: work after having baby
RE: work after having baby
Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376
RE: work after having baby
Some people don't have it in them to stay-at-home and some people say they just can't afford it. If you can afford it and are inclined to it, I don't believe you will ever regret it. My wife planned to go back to work after our first child but when the time came, she just couldn't do it. She has now been a stay at home mom for 6+ years and never once have we regretted that decision. You will be blessed for the decision. Raising your children is the most important job you can have and you will never get another chance at it. Deal with the consequences later.
I have two comments regarding getting back into engineering:
1) Someone will hire you... it may not be your ideal job to start out but someone will hire you.
2) Consider taking some distance learning classes part time as you gear up to go back to work. Even if you don't get the full master's degree, this will help you to get back up to speed on engineering subject and new technology and it will help to show a potential employer how serious you are.
3) Take your education and continue your stay-at-home status by homeschooling your children. You won't believe the "job satisfaction" you get from that endeavour.
Good luck with your decision and congratulations on the baby!
RE: work after having baby
RE: work after having baby
2) Consider taking some distance learning classes part time as you gear up to go back to work. Even if you don't get the full master's degree, this will help you to get back up to speed on engineering subject and new technology and it will help to show a potential employer how serious you are."
"Another thing to consider; it's not like the engineering curiculum radically changes every year. Chances are pretty good you will still have the same knowledge base as new grads 5 years from now"
No sorry guys, I really think this is WAY to optimistic. And it's not about engineering and not about women, anybody who steps out of any high-level job for 5 years will have enormous difficulty to get back in at the same level or to get back in at all. 5 years is LONG and, probably even more importantly, 6 months is SHORT! Something else: 5 years of hands-on engineering experience can never, never be replaced by distance learning. (As a matter of fact I have to admit I don't see the sense of distance learning at all as far as engineering is concerned).
I am not trying to criticize taking 5 years off to raise one or several kids. I just want to lower the job prospects after that 5y period to what I think is a realistic level.
RE: work after having baby
RE: work after having baby
I left engineering school for 5 years in the middle of my undergrad education. Before I came back, I had to re-learn all the calculus, physics, and statics I needed to take undergrad civil engineering classes. It took me a couple of months of full-time study to re-learn 3 or 4 courses' worth of material, and I didn't have a job or a family to raise.
Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376
RE: work after having baby
So you believe that no one can ever get a job after having done something different for 5 or 6 years? Engineers switch careers all the time into a field they have little experience in. No one here is saying the OP will find her dream job after having not been in the workforce for several years or that she will step right back into her old job with seniority. It may take months after she decides to go back to work to actually find a job but there will be one out there somewhere. I will guarantee there are hiring managers out there who would hire a degreed engineer with a year of experience and 5 years of "time-management" training, especially if that engineer has spent part of that 5 years involved with engineering groups and/or working part time on master's level classes. Most engineering positions use very little of what you actually learned in your undergrad schooling anyway. A lot of it is on-the-job training.
Regarding engineering distance learning...this subject has been posted many times but I learned more useful, real-world knowledge while getting my distance learning masters degree than I ever got from my bachelors degree. It is much harder to take distance learning classes but distance learning master's degrees and very valuable and viable in engineering.
RE: work after having baby
As for whether you can find a job or not, the answer can be nothing but "it depends." Is your chosen field in need of people, does your added maturity offset the fact that you've been out of industry a while, etc. 5 years ago my employer was having mass layoffs, and now they're hiring any engineer with a pulse.
My best advice is to not stress out too much. Things will work out. I've made some really dumb career and personal decisions in life, but I've always managed to come out better off in the long term.
Best of luck to you!
RE: work after having baby
metgirl05, remember what they say about free advice, it's not worth the money you paid for it!
RE: work after having baby
She may decide to take on another child or two and provide daycare in her home - my sister did that while raising her 3 children and took home more money each week than I did from engineering. And, she could write off a ton of her home and car expenses.
Life is short...don't worry about what will come 5 years from now. It will be here before we know it. Her new baby will only be a baby for a little while. I think her priorities are definitely in the right place.
RE: work after having baby
As a matter of fact, I just had my first baby (pretty much as you were drafting this email.) I am only taking a week off, but my wife is going to take 4 or 5 years off from employment. She is also a professional and her industry will be waiting for her with open arms (as it will for you.)
woodengineer
RE: work after having baby
I don't want to discourage you but am trying to give you what I think is the realistic view point.
Good luck whatever way it goes, make sure and enjoy whatever time you do have with the kid, they grow up so fast.
RE: work after having baby
After 5 years of doing other things you will be a complete newbie again... AND you will remember just as much from your engineering masters as you currently remember from Spanish, biology, history or anything else you learnt at school before you started engineering.
This does not mean that it will be impossible to find a decent job. But just keep in mind that you will have a major handicap vs all engineers that will come fresh out of school 5 years from now, without even mentioning your generation of fellow engineers that will have 5 years hands-on experience and will have switched jobs 2 or 3 times.
Anyway I stop before I start to repeat myself if not already.
RE: work after having baby
My daughter in law is a Coast Guard officer, Lt Cdr, who has been on active duty for a number of years, delivered two children, and her career is still going steadily uphill. I won't go into details, but she has had her share of challenges on the job, mostly personnel mgt and discipline problems. Kids and gender have not gotten in the way.
They use military facility day care, which is paid on a monthly basis. The grandkids don't seem to suffer from the experience.
RE: work after having baby
Why not plan on taking a nice long maternity leave and see how you feel after that. I took 6-7 months off when each of my two children were born, which was fantastic. At that point, it was much less painful for me to place them in day care. For me, it was actually easier to work when they were younger. Once they hit school age, things got a lot more complicated because of after school activities, field trips and school events that took place during the day. But then they were old enough for us to have a live in Au Pair, which can be very economical. Now they are in high school - too old for an Au Pair. I had to take a job closer to home with shorter hours to prevent my house from becoming afternoon party central.
Maybe you could get a job with a government agency where you might have shorter work hours, more sick leave and vacation and retirement at a relatively young age. Congratulations and good luck.
RE: work after having baby
Congratulations! I worked for 5 years before my first child was born, then worked fulltime for a year before switching to parttime (3 days/week). I continued this schedule after my second and third children were born. When the littlest was a toddler, we moved for my husband's job and I stayed at home for a year. I then pursued my PhD for a year, but the youngest had some developmental issues, so I stayed home again until he entered school. After a long search, I finally landed a part time job (practically the dream job for me.) So from my perspective, I believe the best advice so far is:
1) Take a long maternity leave - this will help you sort out what it best for you.
2) Talk to your present employer about part time work. It is far easier to switch to part time rather than looking for a part time job. I have found working part time is a great solution. I can spend time with the kids, yet still am challenged, have income, and have the security of a second income if anything happens to my husband or his job.
3) It is far easier to manage work/daycare before the kids hit school. I used to work 3 days/week, but now I work 4-5 shorter days (leave when they get on the bus and be home when they get off). Homework and after school activities add to the fun. Not complaining, just different balls to juggle - thank goodness my boss understands.
4) If you decide to stay home, keep in touch with your boss/coworkers so if you decide to come back, you still hve your foot in the door. Great idea, it will be easier to get a job, especially part time, with your present company.
5) If you decide to stay home, don't worry about it. I loved staying home with my children even though it was only for a little while. I wish I could have stayed home longer.
Good luck! Enjoy your pregnancy and your baby.
Last bit of advice - have a lot of dates with your husband and maybe some nice vacations before the baby is born. It is hard to find a lot of "alone" time together afterwards!!!
RE: work after having baby
Congratulations.
I think some people on this board are overdoing it a bit with the “never get a job if you take time off” warnings. When I graduated, I was unable to find an engineering job, and ended up doing something completely different (non-technical sales) for two and a half years. Eventually, I took a couple of engineering classes to “freshen up” and found an entry-level engineering position. Not only did I do okay despite almost three years of limited engineering involvement, but my career has progressed to a point where I think I’m doing as well as I would have been had I gotten an entry-level job right out of school. I credit this at least in part to a certain degree of maturity that can come only from life experience which is often lacking in those fresh out of college. As someone who is in the hiring seat nowadays, I give a lot of weight to previous work experience. All other things equal, given a choice of a kid with a new degree or someone with a year’s experience and a couple of years out of the workforce to raise kids, I’d chose the latter, no problem
RE: work after having baby
Congrats on the baby.
With regards to re-starting your career, here are some thoughts:
1) Yes it will be possible. Lots of people change careers, start anew, etc.
2) Yes it will probably be harder than if you didn't take 4-5 years off. But what did you expect? You may need to take some courses to "freshen up", maybe a masters degree to catch up on the new technologies, maybe keep up to date on your own, maybe ...
3) Yes, most companies will probably be understanding. Not all men are misogynist dinosaurs from a bygone era. And in 4-5 years time, hopefully, there will be more women doing the hiring.
4) No, that understanding probably wouldn't help you much. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you hire you, or someone who came straight out of school and have been working for the last year?
Finally, I think all of this worrying is moot. In 4-5 years, who knows what the future holds? Maybe you will decide to not be an engineer and instead open your own business in another industry that you discover in 2 years.
"Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater."
Albert Einstein
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RE: work after having baby
My opinion on your questions . . .
You said: "I am worried that with less than a year of experience and then 4 or 5 years off that once I am ready to get back to work I will have an extremely hard time finding someone that will take me on."
I don't think you will have an "extremely" hard time. It really depends on the market. If employers need people, you will have an easier time getting a job. Likewise in a tighter market, you may have a little harder time. You basically will have to start out at the bottom all over again. This is not necessary a bad thing, just have patience. At my previous employer, I worked with a female CAD person. She said she used to waitress. One day she got sick of waitressing, so she started doing CAD with no previous experience. I know it is not the same as engineering but people start/change new careers all the time. I see you as no different than someone deciding to start a new career mid-life. People do it all the time. When the time comes to return to work, if you have the desire and are persistent (and perhaps take some refresher courses), I think you will eventually get your foot in a door somewhere and be on your way.
"Are employers understanding of this type of situation?"
Overall, yes I think employers ARE understanding of this type of situation. There probably WILL be employers who aren't, but you may not want to work for them anyway if their value system is such that they don't understand your decision.
". . . should I really reconsider daycare, go back to school so that I am not completely out of touch?"
I personally think it is unrealistic to think that you can go to school or work-from-home part time "to stay in touch" while you are home with very young children. Before I had kids, I thought this was possible. Now that I have kids, I got educated real fast that taking care of children is a full time job. Also, you don't want to fill your every waking moment at home squeezing in work. After all, part of the reason one chooses to stay at home is to ENJOY your child's childhood. Personally, I question a parent who says they want to "stay at home to raise their children" and then have their nose buried in a book or a computer. They might as well be at work.
My personal story;
I purposely waited to have kids to give me time to develop some professional self confidence. This is not necessary though. I really wanted to stay home until they started school and I also had the same concerns as you regarding re-entering engineering after being out for years.
At the time, my husband didn't make enough money to support the family. He did not want me to stop working because he didn't think we could make it and frankly he was right. So we decided daycare BUT I would work a reduced schedule, 32 hr/wk. I approached my current boss about a reduced schedule and he reluctantly agreed. Later when I quit that job, he said he was never happy with my part-time schedule.
I now still work part time 32hr/wk (it has been 7 years) and my current employer has no problem with it. I do not get the big important projects but it is a tradeoff I am willing to make. My youngest (4) starts school this fall. I will probably go back to full time at that time. Part time work is a godsend!
I cried when I had to send my baby to daycare. I would take my lunch hour(daycare was close to work) to go and just hold my baby in my arms and smell her baby hair. Last week, my 4 year old told me that the babysitter said that she was her "second Mom". Ouch. I sometimes feel that my second child loves that babysitter more than me. I sometimes feel that I haven't given my second child as much attention as she needs. I'm always so busy. On the plus side, daycare and work provided a structure that seemed to help my baby (and me) sleep well. She always slept better through the week than on weekends ( I guess all the stimulation tired her out.)
I took 10 weeks leave with my first child and 12 weeks with my second. Both without pay (small company) and used savings to pay bills. At six weeks, my first baby was still waking up 2 and 3 times a night and I was exhausted. I agree with other posters on taking a decent maternity leave. Don't rush it. Who ARE these people that go back to work after 3 weeks? At 3 weeks I was barely getting a shower everyday let alone being able to go back to work! ?
Anyway I hope some of this helped. Good luck with whatever you decide and congratulations on your little one.
P.S. Your kids will always need you. Even (especially) when they are school age and beyond! Not just when they are babies.