Working away from home ?
Working away from home ?
(OP)
Hello all,
I have a chance of a job which will require me to live away from home for 4 nights a week (mon - thur) returning home on a Friday evening. The job (although similar salary to what I earn now) is a good opportunity within a large company.
Due to my family being settled where we currently live (2 young children) we do not wish to re-locate. The job is too far to commute (3 hours drive) but close enough to return home in emergencies. Does anyone have any similar experience of working away from home and are there any problems I should look out for ?
Basically any advice / experiences would be welcomed.
Many thanks
gd72
I have a chance of a job which will require me to live away from home for 4 nights a week (mon - thur) returning home on a Friday evening. The job (although similar salary to what I earn now) is a good opportunity within a large company.
Due to my family being settled where we currently live (2 young children) we do not wish to re-locate. The job is too far to commute (3 hours drive) but close enough to return home in emergencies. Does anyone have any similar experience of working away from home and are there any problems I should look out for ?
Basically any advice / experiences would be welcomed.
Many thanks
gd72





RE: Working away from home ?
Chris
SolidWorks 06 5.1/PDMWorks 06
AutoCAD 06
ctopher's home (updated 10-27-06)
RE: Working away from home ?
This is going to cause you nothing but stress and strain, I see no upside at all.
More to life than money.
Charlie
www.facsco.com
RE: Working away from home ?
"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."
Have you read FAQ731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?
RE: Working away from home ?
Evenings I tended to round up other homeless guys and go drinking because I just couldn't face trying to work in the Hotel room after dinner after about Tuesday. I drank A LOT those three years so I didn't really make any extra money at all.
There was nothing about that experience that I would recommend.
The two years before I started working out of town I was in Graduate School in the evenings and got home at 9:00 most evenings, but I was able to put the kids to bed and talk to them some. It was hard, but nothing like being out of town.
David
RE: Working away from home ?
Why is my handle 65Roses?
Please visit http://www.cff.org/aboutCFFoundation/About65Roses/ to learn why!
RE: Working away from home ?
RE: Working away from home ?
Work to live...not vice versa.
Brian
RE: Working away from home ?
You could also get this third baby that does not look much like yourself.
Remember to take care of your wife dude, or someone else will do it for you, and it seems to me that sleeping 4 nights a week outside is not exactly what the doctor ordered for a relashionship.
If you are a soldier and you have to, we can understand, but for money?
RE: Working away from home ?
For a lot of money and a short time maby. Longer than monts forget it. I did it once because it was that or nothing.
The only exception I can imagine is 1.) sort job, .) in the summer. 3.) you have a place main squeeze and kids can stay. and 4.) nice city with lots of attractions for kids ie. good zoo, museusm etc.
RE: Working away from home ?
For construction workers, they normally get higher pay than if they try to stay in one place, plus get per diem on top of that. If you're single, it's a pretty good deal.
I can see trying to do something like this if your pay would be double or triple, or if it's the difference between working and not working, but I can't imagine doing it for the reasons you describe.
Rest assured, it will be a LOT easier on "young" children to move with Dad than to be part-time orphans from here on out. Divorces aren't easy on kids, either.
Your expenses will definitely go up, as you'll have to maintain a second living place. Staying in motel rooms watching TV gets awfully boring in a hurry, too.
RE: Working away from home ?
On the upside, it was the best move I could have made for my career and my professional development. I learned a helluva lot from the experience and I'm 10times better as an engineer because of the opportunities presented by that role. And most of the guys I moved down there with are still there - some of them moved there families because they prefer the new location, some of them find that a night at home mid-week helps keep their marriage working and none of them have let on about there being too much trouble at home. However, most of them are either childless or have teenage children.
In terms of advice, if you decide to take the job I would suggest you have an escape plan in place before you go so that you can always come home if it doesn't work out. I would make sure there is sufficient reward to justify the sacrifice. And if you have the opportunity to negotiate your working hours, work long hours through the week and leave early enough on Friday to make sure you get home in time for dinner on Friday night.
RE: Working away from home ?
Either stay where you are or move your family with you.
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RE: Working away from home ?
Another real life example - why do you think the military divorce rate is higher than civilian?
If spouse and family mean anything to you, don't do it for long...
RE: Working away from home ?
Once again thanks for your advice.
RE: Working away from home ?
I’m in a similar situation (4 hr drive) and have been for over a year but there are some significant differences.
For me it was a major pay rise, pay more than tripled.
The previous job was as a sales assistant at a drug store so low pay and crummy hours (a lot of evenings and weekends), they’d made me supervisor just before I left but it didn’t help much.
I’ve arranged it so that most weeks I only work 4 days (away 3 nights) and leave early the last day so am home long before bed time, often in time for dinner. I actually see my wife and kids more now than when I was at home working at the drugstore.
In my line of work I won’t be able to get a job locally till I am eligible for security clearance which is several years from now. As such the chance of getting a well paid job locally is slim to none at present.
Disadvantage is the cost to stay away. Costs me over $1000 a month with hotel & travel. Due to the area getting a room somewhere wouldn’t be much cheaper, especially as I’m only there 3 nights. However I’m still better off than I would be at my previous employer.
The kids are actually my wife’s, I’m the proverbial evil stepparent so they probably don’t mind me being away as much as yours would.
For me it’s worth it, for you it doesn’t sound a good idea.
RE: Working away from home ?
Hey Man,
Well I have been on the road for 2 years as a international construction Superintendent, I would fly home on a Friday spend time with my family Saturday and then fly out Sunday. Because my job was so stressful when I got home all I wanted to do was enjoy my time off not wanting to go out with the family. This is a really big mistake, make sure when you are home you take time out for the wife, this time must be separate from the kids. So you will have a family day and then a wife day, if you do this it will work out for the better.
Good luck
RE: Working away from home ?
Regards
Alberto J. Hung C
Caracas Venezuela
RE: Working away from home ?
I'm no longer married, my teenaged daughter chose to stay during the week with my parents. This means zero time as she had her own interests and never wanted to hang out with her mom (me). After a year we moved her to the apartment with me. Will have to upgrade to something larger when the lease is up.
We still go back every weekend, my family still knows me. My boyfriend and I have come to the realization that I will probably never find a decent job in that limited market.
It is costing a lot of money, the additional travel etc. At this point I am happy as I have my daughter with me, doing the work I love, a lot of soul searching on what is important in life.
RE: Working away from home ?
RE: Working away from home ?
I work away from home, monday through friday evening. I travel back home (2 hours drive) on friday, arriving just for dinner time with my family: my wife, two girls and one boy. I return back to my job early on monday morning.
I live monday - thursday night at a sort of village that our power plant has for their employees. In this place we have a clubhouse, restaurant, playing fields for basket ball, soccer, tennis, among other facilities.
Some evenings I use to drink a couple of beers with other co-workers and that is all. Another nights I stay at my village home (not my village room) and watch TV, or read, study a special matter or make one of my favorite extra work activities: have a part in this forum.
I have been living in this way of life for more than 4 years (so far I have no choice) but certainly, I have become accustomed. I spend the weekend entirely with my family so, I have no sorrows. But, being honest, from now on, I will try to put into practice (and I will see what happens) the idea of Borg70f99, this is, to dedicate part of one day exclusively to my wife.
Go ahead gd72 and good luck !
RE: Working away from home ?
0 for...
wow
I'm younger and have no spouse or kids so I cannot relate but a lot of good responses here.
RE: Working away from home ?
I have worked with several older gentlemen who commute home on weekends and seemed to do okay with their marriages. I only remember one guys complaining about his wife spending money they din't have. I guess I would say if you really thrive on your family relationship and friends and have lots of activities during monday to thursday, don't do it. If you enjoy your free time to pursue your own hobbies and stuff, then try it out. Maybe...It is a hard call, seeing as how you have a family dependant on you :). Now that I read my post I see I have very little in the way of similar situation.
RE: Working away from home ?
=) good luck
Tobalcane
"If you avoid failure, you also avoid success."
RE: Working away from home ?
A few years ago, we had a project in China. It seemed like many of the Chinese do this for the jobs. They have to take a job in a different city, but leave the family where they are.
On PBS, there is a program on currently, I think called "Inside China" or "China from the inside" (not sure??). They talk about this same issue and the problems it causes.
Not worth it, but if you can't find work.....
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This is normally the space where people post something insightful.
RE: Working away from home ?
However the pay was a lot more.
Gradually as time went on the jobs got farther and farther away from home and the return times longer between them.
Now I am home getting ready to go back to Afghanistan. Its 3 months a trip with 48 hours travel time one way.
I could never have done this when the kids were young. (They were 10 and 12 when I started).
I’d pass on it in your situation I wait until the kids were older and a little more independent before starting on this path. It can be exciting and interesting but is hard on the family life. You have to balance your responsibility as a parent with your career.
Rick Kitson MBA P.Eng
Construction Project Management
From conception to completion
www.kitsonengineering.com