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Remembering Names

Remembering Names

Remembering Names

(OP)
I was at a conference last week and realized that I have a very difficult time remembering names.  Sometimes they are "in one ear and out the other"; I'll be having a conversation and realize I had forgotten their name already.  Other times, I concentrate on their name, remember it for the conversation, and forget the next day.

So the question is: what do you do to remember names?  I truly believe this is an obstacle I need to overcome.

Thanks for any and all help!

RE: Remembering Names

Hi SomeYahoo:
"repetition is the mother of retention" What I do, say after getting a phone # for example, is that after a few minutes I go back and try to repeat the phone # just by memory. I do this whit names and other stuff at work also when I don't have pencil & paper in front of me.
Regards

RE: Remembering Names

I tend to remember people's last name better.  Remembering the first name will come naturally once you memmorized their last name.

RE: Remembering Names

I am not good with names.  I make an effort to try to remember.  One thing I do is remind myself a minute or two later to recall a new introducee's name.

I am not afraid to as for someone's name a second time.  In engineering circles, the "bad with names" foible seems pretty common and is accepted.

RE: Remembering Names

I collect business cards.

"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."

Have you read FAQ731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?

RE: Remembering Names


Hello SomeYahoo,

In a meeting or classroom I write every one's name down (including the teacher's).

Another trick, I generally try to give my business card and hopefully receive the other person's card too (i.e. I have their name in the card).

Best regards,

Joseph

RE: Remembering Names

I go for blunt honesty.  "This is awful, but I've completely forgotten your name.  I'm HgTX."

I also go to trusted people fairly often to point at others and ask, "Who's that again?"  Eventually it sinks in.

Hg

Eng-Tips policies:  FAQ731-376

RE: Remembering Names

Something that I find helpful:  After you've been introduced, use their name in the conversation.  It may seem slightly unnatural and forced, but it does help you remember their name!

-b

RE: Remembering Names

I noticed a lot of "little tricks" to remember names being offered here.

In my experience (mostly with friends), I find people who can't remember names also can't remember other things (like when the meeting is, or the corner store run list, or who's turn it is to pick up the beer tab).

If you can practice remembering things in general, maybe that will translate over to remembering names?

"Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater."   
Albert Einstein
Have you read FAQ731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?

RE: Remembering Names

Tony Bussan's books on memory include a series of techniques for just this problem and key amonmg them, as i recall, is Bvanhiel's tip but don't use thee name once, use it as often as you can.

JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com

RE: Remembering Names

Except that I always see right through people deliberately working my name into the conversation, and it annoys me.

Hg

Eng-Tips policies:  FAQ731-376

RE: Remembering Names

HgTX,

I used to think the same thing.  I think it's because the kind of people that are good at remembering names (and therefore use your name frequently) are usually salesmen or politicians.  Once I realized that it could be used for good as well as evil I changed my mind.

-b

RE: Remembering Names

I used to be very poor at remembering names and still is not in the "top league". But its undeniably both an excellent social skill and a good career thing!

I have found that if you frequently need to learn new names - then you "sharpen this skill".

I have become a scout leader a couple of years back. I need to learn the kids name fast - because they have much more respect for you when you use their name. So if you get involved in an "non professional" activity where you meet new people frequently then i believe this could improve your ability to learn new names.

Best regards

Morten

RE: Remembering Names

On a peer level, once I realized how uncomfortable im made others feel when I remembered their name and they couldn't remember mine, it became something of a sport.

I generally jot names down on my palm and make small lists for business and social groups. Really to discretely manage contact info.

I believe it really helps to remember names, particularly of those people in my own organization that are lower on the food chain. I think it sends a message that they are recognized and are not invisible.

I'm not choosy, I'll accept assisitance from anyone if it helps me get the job done.


I find it's all just a matter of focus and priorities anyway. Very few of us can be sucessful without the assistance and support from the others, internally and externally.

RE: Remembering Names

(OP)
Wow... thanks for all the tips.  There are definately some that I can run with, especially using their name in conversation.  Seems like it would have to help, right?

Again... thanks.

RE: Remembering Names

Try this:
Think of an association with the person's name. for instance, I just got introduced to someone on Sunday. his name was Charles. I would NEVER have remembered it, but made a point to think "Charles in Charge" from the 80's/ 90's TV show with Scott Baio. It worked. When I read this thread I thought "what was his name?"  and thought I had forgotten. But then "Charles in Charge" flashed in my head.

Disclaimer, be sure not to accidentally call the person my the name- ie, you think of "Fat Albert" when introduced to s guy named Albert. Also, don't laugh at whatever image comes to mind while doing the name association thing!

Ed

Ed

www.engineerboards.com

RE: Remembering Names

I used to picture of someone with a same name from my past - junior high school friend, college roommate, etc.  It's getting more difficult with foreign names.

In a roundtable setting, I try to write down the names as they are mentioned during the course of the meeting (and the company they represent).  It helps when cards are exchanged before the meeting.

RE: Remembering Names

Try association, even silly ones. To remember Chippewa, tack on CHIPs from Cal Highway Patrol. When its silly enough, it sticks.

RE: Remembering Names

I've given up and will ask for someone's name as many times as necessary. I also can't remember faces and ask often "Where have we met?".

In the military, you can always call others "Sir", "Colonel", "Sarge" ;)

RE: Remembering Names

I'm with Murec, I'm not good at names, faces, places, etc. WhenI find persons in the street that I already met, it is quite difficult for me to make the association. Usually I trust in my wife's good memory.

RE: Remembering Names

It's a really important talent to remember names. It's one of the few talents you don't have to be born with. Focus on it as it pays good dividends.

If there's one thing all successful politicians have in common it's remember the right people's names.

"I've given up and will ask for someone's name as many times as necessary. I also can't remember faces and ask often "Where have we met?"."

That's an excellent technique, too. It's also a good way to ask someone's name for the last time; that is, you'll remember it from then on.

RE: Remembering Names

I just want to give my opinion from a different perpective here. We, ourselves, also have to make some efforts to get people to remember our names 'easily'.

This is important especially when we are working with people from different backgrounds/nationalities. Being from the East, I can say that quite a number of people from the Asia have long names. I notice similar things among my colleagues say from Africa, Latin America and some part of Europe too. It is also on our part to make sure that people can remember our names when we talk to them. For example:

1. Use a shorter/simplified call name on daily-basis. (You can't teach one all those thermodynamic equation-of-states without first introducing them to the basic ideal gas law, can you?)

2. It's better for us to tell others how we'd like them to address us, before they start to simplify our names according to their own tastes/version. Example, "I'm Defghijk, call me Def!" Now I won't blame you if you can't remember my name as 'Defghijk', but don't tell me you can't remember 'Def'!

3. Additionally, if you have a name card, give it to them.

4. I notice that sadly, some people are discriminative towards the amount of effort they will put in to remember others. For example, if you tend to tell to people, "Hi, I'm Defghijk, I'm a graduate engineer, I wonder if bla bla bla". Chances are that you'd be deemed as less useful for him/her because you are perceived as a graduate employee with no experience and what ever questions or tasks that you are handling would be perceived as non-urgent etc... So chances are that they won't really care if they can remember you. So, why bother telling people "I'm a graduate"? Just say that you are an engineer doing so and so. Enough said.

It can be quite annoying sometimes when people don't pronounce our names properly, particularly full names, or especially if they start to shorten our names not in the way that we want it to be. But don't blame it on others if we haven't make any effort for people TO remember us easily. Only then can we blame the rest for their incompetency to remember our names.

All and all I just want to say is that, like most other communications, this is a 2-way process. People must put in efforts to remember others' names, but we also have responsibility to make ourselves easily and correctly remembered. Sorry for the rambling guys, just my 2 cent opinion.

RE: Remembering Names

An old trick, is when you are at a business meeting with cards being passed around, is place the business card in front of you relative to where the people are sitting (a seating chart of sorts).
Works well, and when someone calls you on it, it makes for light side conversation.

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