Self defense
Self defense
(OP)
A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense
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RE: Self defense
The normal cut, paste and insert options dont appear to be available
FOETS
"social drinker with a golfing problem"
RE: Self defense
RE: Self defense
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How much do YOU owe?
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RE: Self defense
Someone in my home town actually got killed by this happening when the UK caught the tail end of a Hurricane in 87 or 90 as I recal.
Is this self defense or is it considered to be the fault of the 'outside force' and so the tree is innocent?
Ken
RE: Self defense
"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."
Steven K. Roberts, Technomad
Have you read FAQ731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?
RE: Self defense
RE: Self defense
but if there's no-one there to hear it fall....?
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RE: Self defense
does it have a chance of getting re-elected after it crashes?
Only in America.
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RE: Self defense
Self defense while working
RE: Self defense
They believe that from a study of tree behaviour they can identify which trees have a latent intent to comit such acts.
Apparently they (consultant tree behaviourologists) can tell from the manner in which trees position themselves close to roads, and especially on bends in the road, which trees are most likely to commit the autocide and they have used this to justify pre-emptively terminating them before they have the chance to injure or kill a car.
I understand they may even be considering commissioning a genetic study of trees to see if there is a more scientific means to establish this than simply behaviour as some commentators suggest that some of the condemned trees have no such intent but are merely maukish observers. Unfortunately Kirlian Phototgraphy (see: the Secret Life of Plants: http://ww
However it has to be conceded that most trees choose to live in woodland or forest and do not loiter by roads. These trees show no tendancies for autocide so on the face of it, the theory seems to be sound.
Others argue that trees have long conducted guerrila warfare against man ever since man first discovered fire and how to build houses instead of living in caves and that their acts are fully justified. Furthermore, they (The PFFT: the Popular Front for the Liberation of Trees) say that if man wants the help of trees to combat gloobal warming, we are not going about it in the right way and that prejudicial "legal" felling of trees simply on a whim is sending the wrong signals.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Self defense
I suppose that behind your posting is a tree party.
RE: Self defense
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Self defense
Cheers JMW!
RE: Self defense
RE: Self defense
RE: Self defense
should the council's practice arbour-euthanaisa ?
maybe the driver should be charged with arbour-murder, possibly arbour-slaughter ...
RE: Self defense
Chessnut trees have been found encroaching into areas where children play and the council have documented cases where they maliciously drop "conquers" onto the heads of small vulnerable cuddly children.
If not hit by these nuts, the children seem compelled to hang them on strings and bash them against each other potentially resulting in some serious injuries to the children.
As the leader of the Strategic Air Command said (of the Soviet Union's nuclear weapons after Glasnost) "We defend against the potential for nuclar attack, not the level of the threat."
Meaning, we presume, that possession of Nuclear weapons even without the intent to use them, is sufficient to justify a continued defense strategy (i.e. him keeping his job and the planes with which to do it). (Glasnost: no clear translation but generally when Raisa G. went shopping and the Soviet Union became cuddly.)
This is an excellent philosophy for local government and it would seem that despite the many millenia during which such instances of trees "allegedly" attacking children have not lead to any recorded instances of said children being physically harmed (not seriously, anyway), the local governments are busy felling chessnut trees when they come too close to children playing.
(Personally, though I agree this is an apt anthropomorphism for the giant Panda, I'm not sure children can be described as "cuddly", I wasn't.)
PS please visit this website for authenticated documented cases of trees, and even telegraph poles, attacking cars:
http://
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Self defense
Apparently Horse Chestnut trees drop "Conkers" on people too... http://www.beyond.fr/flora/marron.html
RE: Self defense
"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."
Steven K. Roberts, Technomad
Have you read FAQ731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?
RE: Self defense
RE: Self defense
Otherwise, many viewers like me may consider this serious issue as fun.
RE: Self defense
This thread is read by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree!
RE: Self defense
B.E.
RE: Self defense
I follow you and invite all posters to keep going on with the poem.
This thread is read by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree!
Trees are good for the birds free,
Like flowers are for the honey bee.
CORK TREE ALENTEJO PORTUGAL
RE: Self defense
But only God can make a tree!
Trees are good for the birds free,
Like flowers are for the honey bee.
Tall and beautiful for all to see
and a place to hide when one must pee
RE: Self defense
JRaef.com
Eng-Tips: Help for your job, not for your homework Read FAQ731-376
RE: Self defense
But only God can make a tree!
Trees are good for the birds free,
Like flowers are for the honey bee.
Tall and beautiful for all to see
and a place to hide when one must pee
ooh!With that one must not agree
Amoniac is prone to the vegetal life to be
RE: Self defense
But only God can make a tree!
Trees are good for the birds free,
Like flowers are for the honeybee.
Tall and beautiful for all to see
and a place to hide when one must pee
With that one must not agree,
Ammoniac is prone to the vegetal life to be
Rednecks are burning the bush prairie
Scouts are making the jamboree
RE: Self defense
"Beware plunging pears!"
Council zealots seal off "danger trees".
Worcester Council have decided that the hazard presented by pears falling from two trees in a park is such that they have errected safety barriers around the trees, wrapped their trunks in red and white tape and attached bright yellow warning signs (a photo of which was published).
Quote:
"The council's Parks and Cemetaries Manager, Ian Yates, defended the move. He said "There are some sizable pears and not evryone is going to be passing thinking that a pear might fall on them, especially children"."
How right he is; I never think that. I hope he didn't mean that children might also fall on them, presumably scrumping high up in the tree.
You just couldn't make it up.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Self defense
"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."
Steven K. Roberts, Technomad
Have you read FAQ731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?
RE: Self defense
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Sometimes I only open my mouth to swap feet...
RE: Self defense
-- we might all be floating around sans gravity!
RE: Self defense
We shouldnt need to sink it, If the boat is built like older British cars it will have enough leaks built in to take care of that :)
Only a fool would pitch his tent under a River Red Gum in Australia, bad habit of dropping large limbs unnanounced! Seen a car flattened by one. (Suicide Jumper??)
Ken
RE: Self defense
Amen to that: my father was duped into buying an Austin Montego many years ago. It slowly dissolved in front of the house. What a PoS.
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Sometimes I only open my mouth to swap feet...
RE: Self defense
Lucas - Prince of Darkness
RE: Self defense
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Self defense
RE: Self defense
1, Off, 2, Dull, 3,Flicker.
ScottyUK, dont forget the engines which had a build in rust inhibitor. Now, do i put the oil in or on the engine??
Ken
RE: Self defense
0707 posts (26th September) the agenda item "A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense"
Here we are (7th Oct), 40 posts later discussing british car electrics having also had a poetry competition (ongoing, I suspect)and a rogue enquiry about how to post pictures.
Interesting how we segue from one subject to another in a sort of free associative manner.
I once attended a Plant Joint Consultative Meeting with upper Management to discuss redundancy terms and conditions and most of the meeting seemed to be about lawnmowers..... with no idea how we any of us ended up on that topic. And we wonder why Managers are so useless?
Still, this thread seems to be more on-topic than many... but of course, it could be that I too have some responsibility for going off topic in these cases? ... er, no, let's not go there.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Self defense
From nineteen seventy.
It was a lot of fun
When it would choose to run.
Fire engine red
Top down, wind in my head.
Electric problems? Moot.
There’s a tool kit in the boot
Split bumber, wire wheels
And a girlfriend in her heels…
(Ok that was a lie,
no girlfriend, alas, sigh)
…Split bumper, wire wheels
Pop clutch, tire squeals…
(Ok another lie,
lights dim, engine dies)
…Split bumper, wire wheels
Reality reveals:
The damn thing wouldn’t start
But it certainly had heart.
RE: Self defense
If those hostile trees could only see,
That fate for cars will surely be:
Just piles of rust that will help fill
Their leaves with α-chlorophyll!
RE: Self defense
but only God can make a tree!
Trees are good for the birds free,
like flowers are for the honeybee.
Tall and beautiful for all to see
and a place to hide when one must pee
with that! One must not agree,
Ammoniac is prone to the vegetal life be
Rednecks are burning the bush prairie
Scouts are making the jamboree
The world wood forest is under murderee
Warriors are sticking the tamboree
Self-defence is dangerous as strategy
Oil shouldn’t constitutes the escapee
Mushroom bombs are being uncontrolled by the mentee
Who is going to be the referee?
Referee's they come free
If only they could help the trees
You could engage in legalese
but that's like shooting into the breeze
Naresuan University
Phitsanulok
Thailand