Question about your (life) partner
Question about your (life) partner
(OP)
Ok, here's a few questions I'm interested in hearing the answers to.
How many of you have husbands, wives, girlfirends or boyfriends that are engineers or have technical or scientific jobs?
Would you prefer to marry (or date) someone with a technical / science background or would you prefer someone who works in an entirely different field?
I'll hold off on answering for myself until a few others reply.
How many of you have husbands, wives, girlfirends or boyfriends that are engineers or have technical or scientific jobs?
Would you prefer to marry (or date) someone with a technical / science background or would you prefer someone who works in an entirely different field?
I'll hold off on answering for myself until a few others reply.





RE: Question about your (life) partner
My wife is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I like the difference in careers as it exposes me to something entirely different from what I do.
Regards,
RLS
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Chris
Systems Analyst, I.S.
SolidWorks 06 4.1/PDMWorks 06
AutoCAD 06
ctopher's home (updated 06-21-06)
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
There are a few questions in life that can't be answered using math, science or statistics. This is one of them.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
We have substantially different interests and personalities but have never had an argument or fight...
Dik
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I don't believe profession has much bearing, other than finding some common ground. A lot of relationship issues boil down to personalities and conflict resolution. It's not the good times that test the strength of the union, it's getting through the bad stuff intact.
And, you MUST agree on which way to hang the toilet paper roll.
"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"
RE: Question about your (life) partner
My wife is a domestic engineer in our household (no formal ABET accredited, engineering degree program only OJT).
Entirely different profession. Keeps things balanced in life.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Anyways, back to my point. I did marry an engineer. We compliment each other well in that we have different strengths and common strengths that make us a good team. She's also a cheap consultant....a couple of weeks ago I was having trouble with some control tuning on a deethanizer and I called her at home (she's at home with the baby this year) and she walked me through some tuning tricks and tips...she a process control guru and I just pretend to understand.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I have female engineer friends, but I could not imagine spending any more time with them then I do.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy it...
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
TTFN
RE: Question about your (life) partner
As said by others, I don't think that the profession is not really important to choose the person that you want to share the rest of your life.
It's much more important if (s)he is rich or not (eheheh, just kidding)
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Of course there are two ways to hang bog roll! It either feeds off the top of the roll and hangs down some distance off the wall, or it feeds off the back of the roll from below and hangs near to the wall. It is an immensely important thing!!
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy it...
RE: Question about your (life) partner
My wife simply does not understand my approach to problem solving. In fact, she does not even consider the dynamics of "things" around us. After 26 years and two years of counseling, it's on the way out.
I have to agree with casseopeia. The internet dating seems to be a good way to meet someone whom shares common interest and activities. Good question, by the way!
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I can see how Zoobie's situation could be nice too.
I never meant to suggest that I would use someone's career to judge their potential as a mate. Mostly I was just wondering what the engineer+engineer to engineer+other ratio was.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
"The two major benefits as I see it are (1) I don't talk shop at home, because she won't understand/care/listen and (2) she introduces me to a lot of things that I wouldn't be exposed to otherwise"
So mine is not the only household where the evening debriefing is one way traffic !!
RE: Question about your (life) partner
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy it...
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
That being said, I would NOT advise anyone to rule out dating a person who does the same type of work different as you are doing. Judge people for who they are.
You may want to avoid an office romance. Some firms frown on it, and it could get to be uncomfortable if things don't work out.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
"Sometimes the urge to scream "JUST SHUT UP!! I DON'T BLOODY CARE!!!" is overwhelming, but I have succeeded so far in just thinking it."
One evening my wife said "I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID PARTS!!!"
That was when I realized there is a whole other world out there (besides there are others places in this world besides the US).
RE: Question about your (life) partner
DaveVikingPE: "What do I usually think about? ALL THE TIME?!"
DaveVikingPE's wife: "You're thinking about other women!"
DaveVikingPE: "NO! I THINK ABOUT ENGINEERING ALL THE TIME."
DaveVikingPE's wife: "Same thing."
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Wes C.
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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
But why??? It's just as good sitting on the toilet tank, no difference in quality, no lack of effect, why waste your resources hanging it. Hehehe just kidding...my wife already drilled that out of me ;)
In university we always considered engineering couples to be two people who just can't score anywhere else...needless to say I still dated an engineer....we broke up pretty quickly, it wasn't b/c of the career similarities.
I'm married to an actress now, basically she's good at exactly the things I'm not good at. I get to meet the strangest people, and I get to indulge my inner connoisseur. Plus we never talk engineering...well I do, she tries to listen, I try to listen when she talks about the reason for some theatre character's emotional color pattern, buzzzzzzzzz, AND I tune out.
It has its bad times, she's emotional and impractical, I'm logical and practical, thus we argue, usually about stupid things.
I wouldn't change it for anything.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Everybody has problems there are times you need more strenght than you both have indivually.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Myself, I am an ME married to an ME. My first husband was an ME also. I guess it is a clinical case :)
RE: Question about your (life) partner
The idea that one should marry outside of engineering to avoid a dull life is a load of ####!! If you're dull, you'll be dull no matter who you marry.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
TTFN
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
every time she sees me writing something on here, she just shakes her head and walks away.
B.E.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
My wife is now completely domesticated (well, nearly so) but she was an Anaesthetist (however spelt) and her eldest brother a surgeon and two nephews are a plastic surgeon and a micro-surgeon (yes, he is quite short).
We do actually talk shop. She talks and I listen. I understand nothing of what she says (a recent survey reported that most men don't actually listent, but do konw enough to nod and go "uh ha" and "yes dear" every so often).
No toilet role issues but she is a tothpaste tube pest - she squeezes at the nozzle end and I then have to then squeeze it all from the back of the tube to the front. In the old days (sorry, wrong thread but never mind) when toothpaste came in metalised tubes you could roll them up from the back end. Now they insist on straightening themselves out again. This means that just as soon as she can get at it she squezes from the nozzle end and while some undoubtedly comes out, all the rest promptly goes to the back of the tube again.
I have at last learned the trick of letting her shop on her own without worrying if we will have to sell the house. Last week I dumped her at a Factory outlet Mall with lots of shoe shops. Six hours later when I collected her she had just two bags of shopping and a happy smile. A number of shoe shops were trying to get all their stock back on the shelves but hampered, I guess, by most of the staff having relocated to the post-traumatic stress treatment centre.
She bought no shoes.
Actually we don't have room for any more, but not that this was a consideration, she is just Jimmy. (Pardon the made up rhyming slang-Jimmy Choos - choosy? .... OK never mind, I'm sure the ladies will understand).
She then spent the next hour telling me how much money she had saved ... I still haven't figured out how to explain that she didn't save any money buying stuff she wouldn't have otherwise bought... if anyone knows the answer, let me know.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I'll be she actually "looks" like she's listening too.
My ex-wife was in the film business too... talk about a match made in hell.... but I don't think that career had anything to do with it.
Wes C.
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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Thinking about it, I know of several couples working in the exact same professions, and it can tend to become competitive. None of them seem really content, the worst example were probably a pair of lawyers, ha-ha-ha.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Just a thought, but you don't suppose it could have anything to do with the uniform do you??
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Sometimes we talk shop, sometimes we talk about other things. We grumble about general stuff at work and put the world to rights, we also amuse ourselves laughing at the politics as we are both on different sides of the fence its funny to see what rubbish our managers are sometimes telling each other.
I think it helps that when we've had a hard day we can talk to the other one and they do understand and sympathise. Helps to get things off your chest rather than bottling it up and taking it back to work the following morning.
And we're both each other's free consulting services which makes our problem solving that bit more effective.
Obviously we do switch off work as well and have different interests and hobbies as well as some shared ones which gives us different things to talk about than the 9-5
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Scary thing is when I tell my wife (a primary teacher) all the new management tricks I learnt in my MBA course, she replies that she uses them all the time in the classroom...
RE: Question about your (life) partner
My girlfriend's mother is a nurse. Her brother is a nurse. Both her aunt's are nurses. Her uncle is in nursing school. So are 2 of her 4 cousins. A third cousin is in medical school. I found the only one in the whole family who faints at the sight of blood.
And 2 of the 15 engineers working here are married to nurses.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I imagine any female engineer would be way to responsible and organized with her life to ever catch my attention. I only go after the crazy ones.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Does that count?
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Chris
Systems Analyst, I.S.
SolidWorks 06 4.1/PDMWorks 06
AutoCAD 06
ctopher's home (updated 06-21-06)
RE: Question about your (life) partner
You mean all women aren't all crazy? Hell, one of 'em was crazy enough to marry me!
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy it...
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Tobalcane
"If you avoid failure, you also avoid success."
RE: Question about your (life) partner
It seems to be the female equivelant of duct tape, suitable for all kinds of instant jobs on anything at any time.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Chris
Systems Analyst, I.S.
SolidWorks 06 4.1/PDMWorks 06
AutoCAD 06
ctopher's home (updated 06-21-06)
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I could never understand why we have a shortage of nurses. Okay, it's very stressful and can be disgusting at times, but it pays really well and there is a lot of job satisfaction. Plus it's a very respected profession.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I am very thankful that my wife is NOT an engineer. I get enough technical jargon during the day, I really don't want to hear it at home. Plus, I think I would feel a strange sense of competition with my wife if she was an engineer and I really wouldn't like to have that sort of stress around.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I think it's still the same. Many doctors don't seem to treat nurses very well. But the nurses who have been at it a long time usually learn to deal with the doctors quite well. On more then one occasion I have seen my girlfriend's mother lecture a doctor--loudly, in the hall, where everyone can hear-- and the doctor slinks away and does as they are told.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Exactly what is required to live with a typical cranky loony engineer.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I've known nurses that were very good at their jobs, but couldn't recognize a decent man if he fell on them.
TTFN
RE: Question about your (life) partner
However she does talk about work and her work colleagues quite a bit which I don't mind. Some of the things they get up to sound quite impressive and groundbreaking. Most of it is very interesting but sometimes as Im sure I do sometimes, she goes into too much detail, loses me and I drift off concentrating, often resulting in an evil glare. However Im sure she loves it when I start going on about how we’ve defined our Takt Time, met our OEE targets for the month and our new 5 axis machining centre capable of reducing 5 changeovers to 1 and finish hard turning in one hit. :)
I don’t know what it would be like having a partner who is an engineer but certainly with her being a biologist we can appreciate each others technical focus better.
One thing that does annoy her though is when I start rambling on about engines and my 205. For some reason she finds it dull listening :(
RE: Question about your (life) partner
It's financial security, although I did'nt even consider her occupation when deciding to marry her.
When manufacturing was down and plants were closing, I was out of work, but she was busy doing corporate law. She does corporate law… such as bankruptcies, foreclosures, acquisitions, etc.
If we were both in engineering, particularly plastics, it would’ve been devastating.
David
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Hey! I do weddings, bar mitzvahs, and funerals.
I used to date physicists. Now I don't know any physicists. Trying times, these.
Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
A quick thought on some of the guys I hung out with in my graduating class - 4 out of 5 married teachers. The nurses must have all been taken that year.
LewTam Inc.
Petrophysicist, Leading Hand, Natural Horseman, Prickle Farmer, Crack Shot, Venerable Yogi.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
It works well for child rearing because her schedule follows the schools' schedules. She's been working P/T since our daughter was born which puts her home by noon every day.
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How much do YOU owe?
http://www.brillig.com/debt_clock/
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RE: Question about your (life) partner
I couldn't imagine being married to an engineer. With engineers, generally speaking things are so black and white. I can't imagine being married to a person who views things as black and white as I do.
The wife's favorite thing to do is to get with the wives of other engineers and discuss the travail of being married to an engineer.
Toilet paper is not an issue in our household. However putting the toilet lid down is. However, I get less of that since I posed the question "since I have to use the toilet in a sitting position at times, obviously less than a woman does, but none the less at least on a daily basis and I have never sat down on the porcelein part of the toilet, does that prove that men are smarter than women?"
That seemed to take the urgency off of nagging me about putting the toilet lid down. And, the cat has never fallen in.
rmw
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Wes C.
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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
probably a good thing since I'd be discussing tech-stuff all the time. And that's exactly what I do with my father who used to be a machinist (turning & milling).
Solidworks 2006/DBWorks 2006 user
RE: Question about your (life) partner
We have a lot of the same hobbies, but our personalities are a lot different.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I think that is what is happening to me. My wife teaches at a primary school. If she can cope with 30 of the little terrors running about, I on my own must be quite easy to deal with.
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Sometimes I only open my mouth to swap feet...
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
rmw
PS to fglass: I met her in Church. When I went to engineering school, there were no girls in engineering classes.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
And we agree on how the toilet paper should hang!
RE: Question about your (life) partner
The School Voice is scary isn't it? Kinda like my mother sounded when I was a little kid misbehaving.
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Sometimes I only open my mouth to swap feet...
RE: Question about your (life) partner
First, I was (WAS) married to a nurse. She worked in intensive care. You can forget about ever finding sympathy for any of your ailments, sir, because ALL DAY she's been dealing with people tottering on the brink of death... Your simple cold ain't gonna get you anything...
Second, I knew a female engineer at a previous place of employment. After I left there and became a contractor, I was back in the facility for some work and noted that she'd been moved to a maintenance planner position. I had a friend that still worked there as a maintenace foreman in her area as to how she was to work with. "Bud," he told me, "that is ONE strange woman. Her husband is an engineer, too. I think they probably have to plot a graph before they have sex..."
old field guy
RE: Question about your (life) partner
oilfieldguy ...your dead on about trying to get sympathy ...or medical treatment from an ER nurse!!!
RE: Question about your (life) partner
The flexibility and money in that market are outstanding. Its part of what makes me enjoy engineering less and less. Its amazing how structured we have to be (8-5, etc...) and how little money we make in comparison.
Ed
www.engineerboards.com
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I crawled back to the house nursing my laptop and woke my wife, the ex-nurse.
She quite unsympathetically wiggled my arm and said she thought it probably was broken and she had better take me to the hospital. I sat waiting for nearly an hour while she dressed and put on her make-up before finally driving me in for an X-ray and treatment. She is not a "morning person".
Meanwhile I am now trying to learn a new reflex that says "drop the laptop dummy".
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I don't mean to laugh, but that is kind of funny! I hope its all better and just a fond memory now.
Ed
www.engineerboards.com
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I did almost the same thing wandering home from a night out a few winters ago. I'd bought a pizza from my local shop and was eating it en-route while it was warm rather than wait until I got home. I slipped on the ice and fell backward as my feet shot from under me. In my inebriated state I managed to land the pizza box flat and right way up on my chest milliseconds before the back of my head struck the concrete. My first instinct was to check my pizza was ok, then my head. Had it been a laptop I would probably have tried to save my head and left the laptop to its fate. No wonder my waistline keeps expanding. I received absolutely no sympathy at all from my wife for the lump on my head, although I did enjoy the pizza!
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Sometimes I only open my mouth to swap feet...
RE: Question about your (life) partner
My mum's a nurse and two of my favourite lines from her were:
"don't get blood on the carpet" and
"you know where the bandaids are"...
My husband and I are both engineers. Most female engineers I know have married other engineers. I swore I wouldn't marry another engineer, but I did.
It's nice to get some empathy with some of the frustrations of engineering and it's nice to cheer each other on. It works for us. We don't talk shop much as we're in different fields, but we share a similar mindset (and a truly awful sense of humour).
I have to say I don't know how we'll both manage engineering careers if we have kids. Most of my girlfriends with engineering degrees who have kids are no longer working in engineering anymore.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
your wife lets you out alone at night? .... to go drinking and eating pizzas?
That's interesting!
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I hope your arm is ok. Happily you got married with an ex-nurse and she quickly detect you had a broken arm without losing control. Maybe if your wife was an assurance engineer, first she will take note of the occurrence, she will see if the laptop was damaged, measure the distance from your car to the back door, than after looking to your swelled arm she gets nervous and starts arguing with you saying why do you had slide in the ice? Trough the iceberg analysis she elaborates in the computer a detailed report of the occurrence. Three hours later, after get dressed putting a red lips stick and the make-up on, she finally drives you to the hospital to treat your hurt arm.
Cheers
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Sometimes if I have a technical problem by involving her as a completely non-technical viewpoint she has come up with some very useful insights/solutions, that I was too involved in the problem to see clearly. Plus she stops me talking like an engineer because it annoys the hell out of her, particularly excessive use of acronyms.
Never assume anyone knows what the hell you are talking about.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
my wifes response was amusing(more so after the event, i must confess) but my companies less so.
At the hospital, I was X-rayed and then, because they fractures were not displaced, simply plastered (plaster of paris style, not the Scotty style).
Feeling rather self-indulgent I took the rest of the day off.
When I got to work the next day (by train, the car insurance is as invalid as you are!) to discover the boss had been doing research among other arm-breakers to find out the average time of work.
I suspect he was disappointed to discover others took a week or two off - (but for displaced and quite srious fractures). I seriously considered getting a sick note and going awol but since I was due in Canada the following week (more snow and ice in Alberta) I kept going.
I also put in an expenses claim for train fares and made them pay it.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I don't think someone should let the profession itself determine whether you "click". However, I am not so naive to believe that the way a person thinks and their profession are mutually exclusive. The differences in the way we think are apparent: I extensively plan everything under the Sun, while she plans only after extensive water board torture... usually for revenge.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Keep your daughters away from young airline pilots, even if you have to physically restrain them. My daughter married one, who used her as a cash cow. She earns six figures, and the bastard milked her for a lot of money. All he brought to the marriage was debt and unlimited tastes in spending. The last toy he demanded was a Lamborghini. They are now divorced.
In a different time and place the judge would have been told, "He needed killing" and the judge would have understood.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Ed
www.engineerboards.com
RE: Question about your (life) partner
Ed
www.engineerboards.com
RE: Question about your (life) partner
It is possible to have kids and still work as an engineer although professional priorities just change a little (site work, overtime, travel etc). I am a female engineer married to an engineer, we have 2 young kids (both under 5) and I still work as an engineer. For both kids I took 12 weeks off work then went back to my job full time. I have no extended family living near me to help out when they can which would be nice (but in the end they are my kids and my responsibility). Both kids are in daycare (costs a bomb). In the end I love my job and luckily I have a very supportive husband and employer. Take one of these three out of the equation and it would be much more difficult. Life is mad but at the moment I wouldn't have it any other way (unless I won lotto).
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I feel your pain. My wife and I have 3 kids ages 3 and under. She owns a magazine publisher and I am an ME. We are going absolutely crazy at the moment. I am actually not very happy in what I am doing at the moment. I think that things will be a little nicer when I finally find more rewarding work. It certainly doesn't help seeing the flexibility and the income that my wife, her business partner and their employees have. I'm glad my wife is doing well and proud of her, but man, we engineers go through some serious stuff for such little bit of reward in comparison.
Ed
www.engineerboards.com
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
The pilot was on furlough until recently. He was harboring his next girl in the house even when we were visiting our daughter as house guests. (Fly United sparingly. They returned my mail unopened.)
"Judge, he needed killing."
RE: Question about your (life) partner
My 2 cents!
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I used to think marrying an engineer would be a problem so I avoided them. I dated party girls all the time, what a headache.
Now single at 33 but basically engaged (girlfriend lives with me, haven't bought a ring yet), my girlfriend is going into nursing.
I probably should have dated better girlfriends (i.e. not the party girl) before, but I had fun!
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I didn't even live with any fellow engineering students whilst at Uni; English, Music, Classics, Law, Russian Studies, anything not to have to talk about engineering outside of work. I think I extended this into my relationship.
Ben
RE: Question about your (life) partner
John Nabors
'Heaven is the place where the police are British, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the poets are French, and it is all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is the place where the police are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the poets are Swiss and it is all organized by the Italians.'
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
I'm a woman, married 12 years (together 16) to a man that couldn't do algebra for his life. The last 5 years he's been an electrician. He has a degree in Animal Science (non-prevet), but ag didn't pay. But he understands my passion for my field and has always been pretty supportive.
I'll add a note to some comments above that throwing children into the equation makes life a bit insane with a two career family, but we manage and the kids seem to be good too - although a teensy part of me looks forward to them being a little older and more self-reliant (they are 2 and 5).
Been attracted to a few engineer types over the years, but overall am happy with where my love life went early on. Probably be a little wierd being more in competition with my dh.
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
RE: Question about your (life) partner
You were just seeing the stare your sales date saw when she was talking. The main difference in sales if they sense a pause, they feel as though they need to stop the silence.