Corny Management sayings.....
Corny Management sayings.....
(OP)
I don't know if this has been visited by our members yet...
What about those corny management sayings?
Make sure the staff is aligned with this proposal,
At the end of the day,
Let me put my ___________ hat on,
I gotta believe,
Force march to the sea,
We need someone to get plugged in to that,
Anyone providing air cover,
and on and on and on........any more out there?
What about those corny management sayings?
Make sure the staff is aligned with this proposal,
At the end of the day,
Let me put my ___________ hat on,
I gotta believe,
Force march to the sea,
We need someone to get plugged in to that,
Anyone providing air cover,
and on and on and on........any more out there?
Regards,
Qshake
Eng-Tips Forums:Real Solutions for Real Problems Really Quick.





RE: Corny Management sayings.....
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RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Think of it as a development opportunity
It will be reflected in your bonus
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy it...
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
"we know what we're doing"
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein
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RE: Corny Management sayings.....
http://www.bulls**tbingo.net
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
It's a moving bus situation
Someone moved the goalposts
There's a good reason for that, but I can't tell you what it is
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Let me tell you from personal experience, run like FFFF(sounds like puck)if your boss runs that one out.
G'day LN, if you ever read this I'm doing OK since I went out on my own.
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
If anyone ever sees my door open, close it!
One minute late is the same as 5 minutes late!
(I have really heard these)
Chris
Systems Analyst, I.S.
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 05
AutoCAD 05
ctopher's home site (updated 06-21-05)
FAQ559-1100
FAQ559-716
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Cast in Jello
Quick as a wink, nothing happened.
Rick Kitson MBA P.Eng
Construction Project Management
From conception to completion
www.kitsonengineering.com
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Maybe I'm dreaming in Techni-color, but can you just ______.
Maybe I'm viewing the world through rose-tinted glasses, but why can't we just ______.
Can I have just 1 minute of your time?
This should only take a second.
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.
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RE: Corny Management sayings.....
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
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Sometimes abbreviated "Done and done."
In either case, NEVER true....
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
except, as the Capain of one of the bigger tankers explained to me, his (foreign, non english speaking) crew knew enough to tick the boxes on the check sheet but never knew enough to understand the items on the check list, never mind their actual status.
Hence the objective of the excercise becomes "ticking the boxes".
Sound familiar?
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
This guy scares me. I hope this line gets him outta here before he goes postal.
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Keep the bathwater.
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
"You're an engineer. Well, engineer!"
"Those electricians don't know what they're doing, they're just afraid of losing their licenses. We'll pull the wires ourselves" and then not electropolish at the same time as hard anodizing [max. amperage draw of all the rectifiers was several times the supply].
Got to see a high voltage circuit breaker glowing red hot!
"The secret to success in business is secrecy."
-- well, he kept so many secrets from the IRS & State Tax Board & wife's divorce lawyers & EPA & Fire Dept. HazMat regulators, that I could have retired on his legal fees and fines.
"You can't tell the customer the truth"
"Ken, you may be technically correct, but..."
-- Needless to say, I couldn't take much of that any more.
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Love that one.
Cheers
Greg Locock
Please see FAQ731-376 for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy it...
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
"It should take you an hour..."
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.
Have you read FAQ731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Outside the box
We should set up a meeting . . .
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
"We've ALWAYS done it this way..."
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein
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RE: Corny Management sayings.....
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saludos.
a.
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"It's not a crime if you don't get caught."
"My lawyers will destroy you if you talk."
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Rick Kitson MBA P.Eng
Construction Project Management
From conception to completion
www.kitsonengineering.com
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
http://www.inflection-point.com/jokes/60.htm
Wheels within wheels / In a spiral array
A pattern so grand / And complex
Time after time / We lose sight of the way
Our causes can't see / Their effects.
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"Lay the rubber on the road"
ASM
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meaning: you are about to be shafted.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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"We need to get up to speed on that."
"Just do it, and if we get caught ask for forgiveness."
Vita sine litteris mors est.
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I always used to hear: "Better say than sorry!" -- the best way to discourage any plan, daring or not, just because:
- the plan has never been tried before
- there is "no time" to implement it
- there is too much time to think about how to further improve it
- somebody came up with a completely unrealistic scenario of how things might get risky but nobody can convince him it's unrealistic
- the engineer who came up with the plan is under 50 yrs old
- the manager did not invent the plan himself
- .....
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"That's a no brainer!"
"Do we really need to test that? What could possibly go wrong?"
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Ex-boss was the opposite, bringing to mind the expression "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread."
One of his favorites was:
"It's my job to get the part in the door; it's your job to figure out how to do it."
-- He bid on a job for which we lacked processing capability.
"It's only a prototype; fake it."
"There's something wrong with the crane. Fix it."
--- Boss looked at an electropolishing job & quoted a price. Failed to consider that the stainless part weighed 1700# more than aluminum of the same size.
"Come to the office" followed by "Close the door behind you"
--- meant I don't want witnesses for a forwith Labor Law violation, e.g.: "I want to fire ___ for complaining to the State; find cause so they won't get unemployment."
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
I guess it is really meant as a varition on the " a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step" and suggests breaking things down into tiny "digestable" chunks.
But for this manager it really meant we do it one very slow step at a time with lots of reports and meetings in between (i.e. at a rate at which he could hope to fathom out what was happening, but at which his expectations always exceeded his mental capacity) and if the directors complain about progress, pass the buck downwards.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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safe - yes, that was a typo
And I feel rather embarassed about that especially because I love making fun of managers misquoting other managers' corny sayings.
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- Cascade Solutions (someone must know what to do)
- Virtual Stream Mapping (unintelligible director-level dribble)
corus
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I always thought that was a phrase used AGAINST management who thought that 1% average error was twice as good as 2% average error.
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Unless safety actually affects production, naturally.
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy it...
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Wouldn't it be nice if the all private firms adopt this mentality...
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To this day I don't know what it was supposed to mean, but when he said it, he would walk away and chuckle to himself.
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Engineers and Managers:
A man flying in a hot air balloon realises he is hopelessly lost.
He reduces his altitude before spotting a man in a field down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts out: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”
“Yes I can,” the man below says. “You’re in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above where I am in this field.”
“You must be an engineer.” Says the disgruntled balloonist.
“I am. How did you know?” Replied the man.
“Everything you told me is correct but of no use to anyone”
The man below says: “you must be in management.”
“I am. But how did you know?” says the balloonist.
“You don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
I had a supervisor tell me this once:
"Praise the lord and pass the ammunition." (Trust me, it was an exceptionally lousy 2 days after that statement)
"Its easier to ask for forgiveness that to ask for permission" meaning go ahead and do it and if you get in trouble, say you didn't know. I didn't do it.
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I naively associated it with a busy blacksmith, the translation turned out to be: "yes I'm bringing my clubs"
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The phrase is "keep your stick on the ice, not your eyes on the stick". It is a reference to ice hockey, and how you should be ready at any time (stick on the ice) and be looking around at the entire situation, not just on your local issue (eyes on your stick).
Regards,
Cory
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Voluntold - the act of a superior requiring you to volunteer.
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Fortune favours the bold but is less generous to the unprepared.
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Following this remarkable piece of after dinner speaking £500m was wiped of the company's share value.
"Doing a Ratner is a British business phrase referring to a chief executive or a senior person of a company who criticises the company's products or disparages the customers." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doing_a_Ratner).
Unfortunately, while this type of management thinking or mental acuity is fairly common, in most cases these guys get promoted rather than fired.
The really sad thing is that they have control of us!
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Interpretation of corny management sayings by those who have to listen to them.
Hydrae
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CoryPad's "keep your stick on the ice, not your eyes on the stick" explanation is correct but a bit high-falutin'. On natural ice, keeping your stick down gives a split-second warning of rough ice (hard to see after early sunsets). With your eyes on the stick, someone can send you flying or you may skate into a riverbank.
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RE: Corny Management sayings.....
I also always thought the "keep your stick on the ice" referred more to being ready to receive/deflect a pass (being ready at all times, especially for the expected), and usually in front of the net when a defenseman is whacking at you. I can see this being useful when playing with a great playmaker such as Joe Thornton, and the passes are coming from all over.
I don't think this advise would work as well for when skating because, a) it is only a split second between the stick and you when going over rough ice, b) when skating, the stick is often off the ice a great deal as you swing your hands, handle the puck, etc
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Our office now has one.
Doesn't do much but get a management laugh out of a meeting.
Yeah...
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A.
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Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376
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Now normally, I'm a great fan of improving my vocabulary, but I desperately wish I hadn't just looked that particular word up.
A.
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The scariest part is that such contagions spread via threads. Perhaps sharp tacking to the original course may throw it off.
--- Vendor had a cheaper, one-point unit. Item is an effluent pH recorder required for Industrial Discharge to city sewer) to unload. Problem was overly high upper end readings if calibrated at pH 7, and erroneously low readings at lower end if calibrated at pH 10.
Boss doesn't like violations, especially false ones.
Besides the illegality per se, the workers never remember to return the pH probe to the required monitoring position. Noticed the probe in the beaker on 5 consecutive plant visits!
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(maybe you have to know the guy, but I wouldn't wish that upon any Eng-Tips member!)
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Better check your wiring!
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However there must be more pleasant subjects for discussion!
Good Luck
johnwm
________________________________________________________
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Steam Engine enthusiasts: www.essexsteam.co.uk
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
h
Norm
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The committee may or may not get formed but the problem is never dealt with. Either the committee spends plenty of time on general/administrative billing with no results or they do produce results only to be squashed by upper management. Personal experience only.
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Its use is remarkably similiar and often there is no known, understood (by the speaker or adressee) fair or rational answer available.
For example, it may be used to deny time off in lieu after spending uncounted hours/days/weeks in unpaid overtime to get something done on time.
Like "our duty to the shareholders" ("our legal duty to the shareholders", if the deed is perceived to be particularly heinous or morally suspect) it is one of those convenient excuses management like to employ to excuse all sorts of plutocratic excesses or injustices (and one that carefully ignores the fact that more often than not the speaker is one of the most significant shareholders and thus has excercised this "legal duty" to his own benefit and at the expense of the non-shareholders)
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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This is not a criticism. I got that man's back.
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
If you want it bad, you get it bad.
And the worse you want it, the worse you get it.
"Oh well, I wasn't using my civl liberties anyways."
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
"Oh well, I wasn't using my civl liberties anyways."
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GOOD
FAST - CHEAP
Pick 2
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
Realistically you only can cross the bridge when you come to it.
Bruce L Farrar.
Works Engineering Manager
Marshalls Mono PLC.Brookfoot Works.
Halifax W.Yorks UK
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
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"...students of traffic are beginning to realize the false economy of mechanically controlled traffic, and hand work by trained officers will again prevail."
Wm. Phelps Eno, ca. 1928
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Can you burn it after you crossed it?
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That and the use of the term "crippler" to mean anything which isn't going as planned.
We have a whole raft of them though, usually accompanied by people using the wrong word altogether.
"datal" - its the datal solution (look it up, this is meaningless)
"galvanize" - when you mean consolidate, rather than zinc coating things
"total engagement" the favourite of the moment
And my personal favourite, the addition of "adge or idge" onto the end of the word for no reason at all.
stoppage = plant stop or outage
spillage = no you mean a spill, spillage is the material that has been spilled not a spill.
wasteage = waste is the word
there are too many of these but I cringe every time I hear someone use them.
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
"Singing from the same Hymn sheet" would drive me nuts.
Never met "Datal" or "Crippler", but the others seem fairly normal.
"Galvanise" is to "stimulate" but yes, if he uses it to mean consolidate, a problem.
The others, however irritating, do seem to be part of common parlance.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
and my absolute favorite
Wes C.
------------------------------
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions...
RE: Corny Management sayings.....
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"...students of traffic are beginning to realize the false economy of mechanically controlled traffic, and hand work by trained officers will again prevail."
Wm. Phelps Eno, ca. 1928
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Although the formation of a distinct denomination around him was a gradual development, Charles Russell was one of the chief founders of the church known as Jehovah's Witnesses.
His followers believed him when he (Russell) said that in 1914 the millennium would occur and righteousness would be restored to the earth. As 1914 approached, he, and his successor, changed the date to 1915, 1916, 1924, 1928, and on and on to the present day! If you ask a “believer” about this, they'll give you the ultimate management corny saying, "Well, the Watchtower (home office management) is reaching different levels of enlightenment."
Dude! I have got to remember that one! The next time we completely fail on some assigned task and the client calls me on it, I am going to have to quote, “Well, we are reaching new levels of enlightenment on that project.” This is bound to pacify the client and get us more engineering business. Why wouldn’t it? It got the JWs 13 million followers! Right?!
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JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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"there is no I in team"
From the engineers corner of the crowd an unidentified voice
"no but there is a U in bullshit"
meeting disolves in laughter.
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That's another one I plan to use on my boss, clients, etc. That report/project/whatever is finished, its just invisible!
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-- Used when lacking proof, but needing to reach a desired conclusion.
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' a piece of cake'.
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LOL sorry spsu97 I just had to throw that in...
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zeusfaber - You cracked me up with management consultant infestation.
"no problems, only opportunities"
"key stakeholders"
"factoid"
"gap analysis"
And my personal favorite: "What are you working on right now?" (I could remind you of the last five things you asked me to do that I haven't even gotten to yet, but would it make any difference?)
=====================================
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RE: Corny Management sayings.....
make a full court press
have all hands on deck
turn up the volume (with obnoxious hand gestures)
burn the midnight oil
leave no stone unturned
until this problem is resolved.
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.... we haven't got stakeholder buy-in yet.
Perhaps that's why we aren't pushing against an open door.
A.
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can you go ahead without stakeholder buy-in or is that going to be a showstopper?
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A.