Quotes
Quotes
(OP)
"Before criticizing someone, first walk a mile in his shoes"
That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes!
Happy New Year
Rerig
That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes!
Happy New Year
Rerig





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Speak softly and own a big, mean Dauberman.
Here's to a great '06.
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"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
DaveAtkins
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Dr. Who
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"There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't."
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"The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut"
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away.
May God bless you.
You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that
may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football.
A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein
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"What do you call a big hairy ex-convict sitting up a tree with a machine gun ?" ....Sir.
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Attributed to Australia's richest man, 5 x USD billionare Kerry Packer RIP when interviwed in the 1990s by a newshound during his recovery from a heart attack while playing polo. He was technically dead for 6 minutes.
htt
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7/3 of the world don't understand fractions
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein
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http://www.despair.com
saludos.
a.
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You're not really an engineer if you don't recognize that one. Although I'll cut our non-American members some slack.
Edward L. Klein
Pipe Stress Engineer
Houston, Texas
"All the world is a Spring"
All opinions expressed here are my own and not my company's.
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"I love logging onto Tek-Tips. It's always so exciting to see what the hell I said yesterday."
Helpful SW websites FAQ559-520
How to get answers to your SW questions FAQ559-1091
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Cannot remember where I saw that one but it seems to ring true in too many meetings I have to attend.
Alan M. Etzkorn

Reliability Engineer
Wabash National Corp.
www.wabashnational.com
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-- Wernher von Braun
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
-- Thomas A. Edison
"I am often amazed at how much more capability and enthusiasm for science there is among elementary school youngsters than among college students."
-- Carl Sagan
"A computer does not substitute for judgment any more than a pencil substitutes for literacy. But writing without a pencil is no particular advantage."
-- Robert S. McNamara
And the one that probably fits best on this board:
"Scientists dream about doing great things. Engineers do them."
-- James A. Michener
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The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare that the problem is unsolvable. - unknown
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." - unknown
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings. They did it by killing all those who opposed them. - unknown
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. - unknown
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Later in high school, we learned to use it again;
"When in doubt, leave it out"
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein
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abelito (honest)
saludos.
a.
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"The downside to being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious."
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Chris
Systems Analyst
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 05
AutoCAD 05
ctopher's home site (updated 06-21-05)
FAQ559-1100
FAQ559-716
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Barry1961, Titular Despot Emeritus
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DB
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- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
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Isn't that an old proverb?
I prefer:
"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day."
Rik
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DQ was a rich source of stupid quotes, as is our current Whitehouse occupant. Here is one of my favorites.
"I have a record in office, as well. And all Americans have seen that record. September the 4th, 2001, I stood in the ruins of the Twin Towers. It's a day I will never forget." —George W. Bush, Marlton, New Jersey, Oct. 18, 2004
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I still like the drink beer all day quote.
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rmw
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"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein
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Too many cooks spoil the broth - Many hands make light work;
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread - Strike while the irons hot;
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush - The grass is always greener on the other side
There are more, but I can't think of them just now.
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Those actually are consistent.
Hg
vying for the position of Official Eng-Tips Pedant
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376
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It's maybe a perception thing. To me, " A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" means its better the keep what you have instead of risking it on something more that you might not get. I.E. what you have is better.
"grass is always greener etc" suggests to me what you don't have is better than what you do.
Maybe I'm interpreting them wrongly?
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Hg
Eng-Tips policies: FAQ731-376
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I agree with Ussuri. (my opinion)
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Eng-Tips: Help for your job, not for your homework Read FAQ731-376
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Good Luck
--------------
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein
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I am not young enough to know everything." --Oscar Wilde
The man who does not make any mistakes does not usually make anything." --William Connor Magee
Nothing is impossible for the one who does NOT have to do the Job. -Unk
All progress requires change. But not all change is progress." --John Wooden
Murphy was an optomist! - Unk
Happy are those who dream-dreams... and are willing to pay the price to see them come true. - Unk
Civis Aerius Sum ~ "A citizen of the Air" - Steve Link
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. - Unk
Do what you feel in your heart to be right--for you will be criticized anyway. You'll be dammed if you do and dammed if you don't.-- Eleanor Roosevelt.
and... my "simple" all-time favorite...
It's kind of fun to do the impossible." --Walt Disney
Regards, Wil Taylor
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Blessed is she/he who has nothing to say and who refrains from saying it.
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BTW... i like this quote from the hell angels:
gas, grass or *ss... nobody rides for free.
THE MURPHY'S LAW APPROACH:
the grass is greener on the other side of the fence...
changing sides makes the first grass greener...
changing sides again may attract attention and some busybody may call 911 to report a trespasser and get you in trouble.
my favorite albert einstein quote:
"if my theory is accepted, germany will reivindicate me as a german citizen and france will proclaim i am a "citizen of the world"...but, if it is rejected: france will say: he is a german and germany will say: he is a jew..."
my favorite business quote:
never "assume", if you "ass-u-me":
you make an *SS of U and ME
the 2nd favorite business quote (or simile?) i came up with and added thru the years...
1984: working for a big company is like walking under an elephant... if you go too fast: front legs get u... if you go too slow: rear legs get you... but the shade is cool.
1989: every now and then... you have to bow your head... otherwise the b*lls will hit you...
1994: no matter what you do... you cannot avoid being peed on.
1998: if you go really slow... not only the rear legs get you... you may end up being cr*pped on as well.
2001: if you go fast enough as to avoid the front legs... you will surely frighten or irate the elephant and get stabbed in the back with the tusks...
2004: stepping aside is an alternative... but, you lose the shade under the blazing sun and you may find it be very difficult to fall in step to get under another elephant.
the home quote i came up during a dinner with friends:
at home: i wear the trousers!
but careful... she may iron them while i'm inside...
cheers.
saludos.
a.
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All those excellent one-liners remind me of thread731-99002.
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After some thought, the Officer wrote the following.
"To whom it may concern;
This will serve to introduce Mr. xxx
He has served himself faithfully all the years he has been in my employ.
If you are planning on giving him a bearth, make it a wide one.
Yours."
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"When you do right, no one remembers.
When you do wrong, no one forgets."
and some others:
The 2 rules for getting thru the day:
"Rule 1 - Don't sweat the small stuff"
"Rule 2 - It's all small stuff"
"When the grass appears greener on the other side of the fence, find out how much they pay for lawn care"
"Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes"
"If you can't race with the big boys, stay in the pits"
(or run with the big dogs, stay under the porch)
Finally, the most famous quotation for all the married guys:
"yes dear..."
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein
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"Most technical writers make their living describing the smile on the face of a black cat in a dark room in a house that will be built next week."
B.E.
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"Sometimes, the squeaky wheel gets replaced"
"Lead, follow or get out of the way"
"Parachute for sale, never been opened, small stain"
*Without data, you're just another person with an opinion.*
Hydroformer
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1. Boss is always RIGHT
2. If boss comes wrong, refer to item no. 1
So who's the boss?
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"DON'T YOU EVER FEEL LIKE THE WORLD IS A TUXEDO AND YOU ARE A PAIR OF BROWN SHOES?"
and...
in the immortal words of Abraham... (squinting hard)
"dear G'd, let me get this straight... the arabs get to keep all the oil and WE must cut the tips of our what?"
saludos.
a.
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Meaning?
A pointless excercise, in my view.
(This came from this article which appeared in the Maritime Advocate Online which always features a nice line in humour, including a new (to me) lawyer joke for those of you who enjoy such things.)
Hole-hearted research
ENGINEERS at Cardiff University claim to have produced the world's tiniest hole. It is 22 microns in diameter, if you can imagine that. (Your editor can't). It remains to be seen what these holes might be used for. Hair follicles have already been rejected as too stubby. But, undaunted, the Cardiff engineers are working up something smaller, which should be ready by next year, or next week.
The university's marketing director says, "Sometimes, research is ahead of application." Your editor is greatly encouraged by this sage observation. He has, on the drawing board at home, plans for the world's biggest microchip, measuring three hectares by a rood. It is a little beauty.
and the lawyer joke?:
THE devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you," the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you. Your clients will respect you. You'll have four months' paid holiday every year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that the soul of your best friend will rot in hell for eternity." The lawyer thought for a moment before asking, "What's the catch?"
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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like this:
"Black holes are places where God divided by zero"
sorry, I don't know the author.
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Lou,
"Can you do me a favor doctor?"
"Sure, What is it?"
"This afternoon, when Rossi comes in, when you get to this part of the examination, can you say
'Oh by the way, Lou Grant says hello'?"
It was probably cut in a lot of areas.
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"Those who give up liberty for the sake of security deserve neither liberty nor security."
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the trouble is (if you care) to find a cat that doesn't object ...
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----------------------------------
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy it...
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Another favorite of mine from him;
Eng-Tips: Help for your job, not for your homework Read FAQ731-376
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[quote Isaac Asimov]"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny...'"[\quote]
Eng-Tips: Help for your job, not for your homework Read FAQ731-376
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It wasn't the quote marks, it was the backslash with the end quote. (should have been front slash)
Helpful SW websites FAQ559-520
How to get answers to your SW questions FAQ559-1091
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Fat finger syndrome.
Eng-Tips: Help for your job, not for your homework Read FAQ731-376
RE: Quotes
Helpful SW websites FAQ559-520
How to get answers to your SW questions FAQ559-1091
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Don't know who I'm quoting but I'm sure its true.
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That quote is paraphrased from the writings of Benjamin Franklin.
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A couple more of Ben's quotes:
"What is serving God?
Tis doing Good to Man."
"If you would not be forgotten
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worthy reading,
Or do things worth the writing."
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"...by the time we've reached the 'w' of 'now' the 'n' is ancient history." Michael Frayn
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The doctor was examining Lou's prostate at the time.
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Helpful SW websites FAQ559-520
How to get answers to your SW questions FAQ559-1091
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Rick Kitson MBA P.Eng
Construction Project Management
From conception to completion
www.kitsonengineering.com
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"Now why not try doing it our way?
A.
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"Wouldn't it be nice if everything just worked?
My reply was "Wouldn't it be nice if Honda built power stations?". But then I might not have a job!
----------------------------------
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy it...
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I liked the Honda "Hate Something" ad but the rest just don't cut it for me and while I really did like the ad with the car parts spread out for a domino effect, the latest ads have lost the plot somewhat. They try too hard to be clever.
Top ad? the "Skating Priests" , well it is beer they're advertising, (http://www.stellaartois.co.uk/swf/mainMovie.html and follow the links) , I've even started drinking their beer to encourage them.... and hence the quote.
JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com
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People who say that money doesn't motivate their workers just haven't thrown enough money at them.
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From these forums:
To err is human but to really foul things up you need a computer.
The isness of things is well worth studying; but it is their whyness that makes life worth living.
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"It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear"
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but dont let work get in the way of drink either.
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This instantly became one of my favorites.
From the AddALL book site: http://used.addall.com/New/quote.cgi
from h
P.S. Paul Erlich deserves credit for "To err is human, to really foul things up you need a computer."
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'He is so dense, light bends around him.'
Can't remember where I saw this.
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The grass is always greener over the septic field.
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The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank
Author: Erma Bombeck
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I have a couple quotes that I came up with myself. <------ thinks of himself as a budding philosopher.
Philosophical question:
Every one knows it takes a big dog to weigh a ton! How big of a dog does it take to have his way with the big dog that weighs a ton?
Quote:
"It takes a big dog to weigh a ton! God have mercy on the days it doesn't!" Norb Gruman
Answer to the Question:
Depends on how easy the big dog is!
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Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum!
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If I may correct it, I'd say:"...contra ventum."
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I know that one as:
"Vir prudens non contra ventum mingit"
Yours seems a little "homemade"
Benta.
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"Look at it more closely. Why would someone fish for a day if you GAVE them a fish?
DQ was a rich source of stupid quotes, as is our current Whitehouse occupant. Here is one of my favorites.
"I have a record in office, as well. And all Americans have seen that record. September the 4th, 2001, I stood in the ruins of the Twin Towers. It's a day I will never forget." —George W. Bush, Marlton, New Jersey, Oct. 18, 2004 "
I prefer the quote, "Being a critic is the easiest occupation in the world. It requires no skill nor experience and everyone thinks they're an expert."
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"Some people are like a Slinky..... They're really good for nothing, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
"The plan? Quick Like Bunny! Vicious Death Wielding Bunny!"
"That's so Irony that you could stick a magnet to it"
"Be polite, be professional, be curtious, but have a plan to kill everyone in the room"
"If you are going to a gun fight, bring a gun... and a friend with a gun"
Wayne
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TACT
The ability to tell someone to go to hell such that they look forward to the trip
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein
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"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff."
"All we got here's American-made / It's a bit cheesy, but it's nicely displayed."
Also another of von Braun: "Research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing."
and, Voltaire: "It is not enough to conquer, one must know how to endure."
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From the movie Casino Royale:
"I remember your chap Lenin very well. First-class organizer. Second-class mind."
From "O Brother Where Art Thou"
"Woman is the most terrible instrument of torture to ever bedevil the days of man!"
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"A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done."
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A Bierce
Cheers
Greg Locock
Please see FAQ731-376 for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.
RE: Quotes
http://www.ukcivilengineering.co.uk/quotes.html