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Some golden rules
9

Some golden rules

Some golden rules

(OP)
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague (they’re old hat).
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it is highly superfluous. 14. One should NEVER generalise.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth- shaking ideas.
24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said: ‘I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.’
25. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousands times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
28. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

RE: Some golden rules

Quote:

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

Agreed!  This is something up with which I will not put.

RE: Some golden rules

#28... lol

DERAIL that metaphor!

RE: Some golden rules

I just e-mailed this thread to my wife the English teacher.

I was reading it to her, and she said "I must have a copy of that!"

rmw

RE: Some golden rules

It's funny until you realize how pathetic the general population has become.  I know someone who works at a university.  She received the following communication recently.  I have not edited the grammar, spelling,  or punctuation but I have removed "identification" nouns.


Please send me some informatjon on how to apply for the [bachelor's degree] program that you are offering. 1 have finished my degree in Early Chitdhood Education from *********** and I would like to attend your college to futher my educatkmal needs. 1 would also be jnterested to know how the classes would transfer and where the classes that I need will be offered at. Thanks,
 

RE: Some golden rules

Looks more like bad typing (and lack of bother to proofread) than anything else.

Hg

Eng-Tips policies:  FAQ731-376

RE: Some golden rules

This is an excellent posting that I will print and post on the bulletin board at work. I tried to write this reply without using one of the 30 errors to avoid!

RE: Some golden rules

JimCasey: I can sympathize with your friend. I teach at a college, and here is an e-mail I recieved a few weeks ago (cut and pasted, except the original font was fluorescent green).

Quote:


hi sir i need to know if it is ok not to use the template that u provided. i forget to use it when i was creating my parts. plz mail me back asap.

Joe Student
(There are 8 animated pictures in his e-mail signature)

And the hotmail address he sent it from was named to point out that he's "gangsta" (even though he's from suburbia).

What's worse is I must have told them 15 times that the they had to use the school's Pro/E start templates.

RE: Some golden rules

dbooker--To me, all but a couple of the items in the "golden rules" list just serve to illustrate that nothing all that bad happens when the rules are violated.

Hg

Eng-Tips policies:  FAQ731-376

RE: Some golden rules

#4: the split infinitive.

There is some strange idea percolating in the English-speaking world that it is wrong to split an infinitive.  That idea was first promulgated in the 18th century; the reason being that the Romans didn't split infinitives, so nor should we.  Well they spoke Latin!

To paraphrase George Bernard Shaw "to boldly go" is no more a slit infinitive than "the good boy" is a split nominative.

hcp

RE: Some golden rules

7
(OP)
HgTX I agree with you, I can think of no grammatical errors that would stop the world turning or make buildings fall down.

I saw this on another site and it made me smile and I thought a few people on here would appreciate it.

Strangely enough bad things seldom happen when you are smiling either.

RE: Some golden rules

There are some that might make buildings fall down, though a contract claim is far more likely.  Certain grammatical errors (none of them on the list above) give a different meaning to the sentence than what was intended.  The placement of a comma was once at the heart of a RICO case.

Hg

Eng-Tips policies:  FAQ731-376

RE: Some golden rules

ajack1
After reading your golden rules, I have become self conscious and now lack the courage to post any reply . I hope there are no errors.

RE: Some golden rules

Quote:

22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Was this a joke? If not, look up the word "irregardless".

Now look up the word "regardless"

Eng-Tips: Help for your job, not for your homework  Read FAQ731-376

RE: Some golden rules

"Was this a joke?"

?????????  They all  were!


Helpful SW websites  FAQ559-520
How to get answers to your SW questions  FAQ559-1091

RE: Some golden rules

It would be great if some one should re-post the list with examples of the various offences.

RE: Some golden rules

The listed items are examples!

cheers

RE: Some golden rules

Yeah, I got it.  That seemed more humorus before I hit "post".

However, maybe you would care to expand on #19.

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