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T-Shirt ideas...
16

T-Shirt ideas...

T-Shirt ideas...

(OP)
I saw the Eng-Tips Forums' T-Shirt page a few days ago and thought that it was kind of cool that they offered some shirts that bumped engineers. I was thinking of another one and was wondering if anyone else had some good one liners they could plaster on a T-Shirt to describe engineers in a funny way.

Here's mine (I heard it from someone, so it may be old hat to a few of you):

The Optomist - The glass is half full.
The Pessimist - The glass is half empty.
The Engineer - The glass is twice as large as it needs to be.


...I think I would buy that shirt. :)

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

These are interesting.  

http://www.computergear.com/generaltechietshirts.html

I had a great one I bought one time the university, but it's long since worn out and I don't remember all that was on it.  It was something about the top ten ways to tell you're an engineering student.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

At school we had one that read:

War is Peace
Slavery is Freedom
Ignorance is Knowledge

Mass is Energy
Space is Time
Particles are Waves

I wore mine out long ago, but would buy another if they printed them again.  They were black, long sleeved and the text was in forest green.  Do you get the HINT Colorado School of Mines Physics Department?

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

My Metrology/GD&T professor in college had a plaque in his lab that read:

"Old Inspectors Never Die, They Just Gage Away!"

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

The pictures from my recent school reunion showed a lady in T-shirt which said:

"Talk Nerdy to Me"

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

(OP)
Those are all great! I especially like the one from the link that UcfSE provided... "Department of Redundancy Department" - haha, I should get that for some of the configuration management team.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

6
A classic:

We the unwilling,
have been doing so much
with so little
for so long,
that we are now willing
to attempt the impossible
with absolutely nothing.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

(OP)
lol

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

Fun, interesting, witty. Yes. But not describing what Eng-Tips Fora do to us.

What about this one:

         ENG-TIPS FORUMS
Turning engineers into ENGINEERS

That is what is going on in here. Even we old-timers learn lots of things and I know that the younger ones grow feet and inches from the discussions in the different fora.

Gunnar Englund
www.gke.org

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

Eng-Tips humor: "Eng-Tips, Making good Engineers gooder."

Other funny (maybe not-so) stuff:

"I wish I could redline my wife/husband."
"Marriages should have ECRs."
"I'm an Engineer, I don't do TPS reports."

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.
Have you read FAQ731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

Eng-Tips MVP.

I'm bored by my job
so I'll do yours for free.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

For the self-depricating nerd: A colleague of mine used to wear a T-shirt with UNIX "man pages" printed upside-down on the front.

M

--
Dr Michael F Platten

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

A colleague's shirt worn on the occasional Friday:  "You're just jealous that the voices don't talk to you".

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

MadMango:

Shouldn't that read "Eng-Tips, Making good Engineers gooderer."?????

Bruv

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

How about: "Eng-Tips, Where Engineers Calculate to Please."

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

2
try www.dullmen.com

pretty cool...

eng-tips, when you wish upon a star...

saludos.
a.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

We had one in school

Roads Scholars

With a cartoon of a drunken beaver holding a survey level rod upside down.

Rick Kitson MBA P.Eng

Construction Project Management
From conception to completion
www.kitsonengineering.com

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

Engineering Science students at U.Toronto have the shirt:

Just d(u) it.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

I had one once that was always made people look twice - it had a picture of an angry looking bull's head, and the slogan under it in large lettering - BULLSHIRT.

Some people didn't even notice their mistake until it was pointed out to them...

I'd buy another one, if only as midlife crisis return to 'varsity days!

Bung
Life is non-linear...

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

from the Hackers movie

--Off all the things i've lost , i miss my mind the most--

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

By the way, shouldn't we say centimeters and meters not:

Quote:

That is what is going on in here. Even we old-timers learn lots of things and I know that the younger ones grow feet and inches from the discussions in the different fora
but of course Skogs, your excuse is that like many of us here, you are an oldtimer!

JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com

RE: T-Shirt ideas...


Mc Coy:       -  I'm a doctor, I am not an engineer!
Scotty:        -   Now YOU ARE an engineer!
(Taken from a famous Star TrekTM TOS episode, during a Jeffries' Tube repair scene...)

       Perhaps the Dr. Mc Coy's cue above may be re-written on our T-shirts as follows:

                     I'M AN ENGINEER, I AM NOT...

(add whatever You prefer instead of the dots...!)        
                     

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

Adapted from a bomb squad t-shirt for use while on site observations

"I'm a structural engineer
if you see me running
try to keep up"

For those in the arid west

"water doesn't flow downhill
it flows to money"


Rik

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

2
How do you put shoes or boots on meters??

Quote:

By the way, shouldn't we say centimeters and meters not:

Quote:
That is what is going on in here. Even we old-timers learn lots of things and I know that the younger ones grow feet and inches from the discussions in the different fora

"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

(OP)
As much as I hate to snag someone else's idea, I have to put this here. One of our fellow board members, WesC, has a signature that is really rather funny.

There are no engineers in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence of a 'hottest part' implies a temperature difference, and any marginally competent engineer would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make some other part of hell comfortably cool.  This is obviously impossible.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

Oooohhh!!!! that must be the guy that we all refer to when we say: when hell freezes over...
surely still working on that.

saludos.
a.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

That goes right along with the Dark Sucker Theory:


For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.

So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker. The dark which has been absorbed is then transmitted by pylons along to power plants where the machinery uses fossil fuel to destroy it.

A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.

There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.

This is easily proven for lightbulbs too. When you compress a gas, it gets hot, right? So the light bulb gets hot because of all the dark being squished into the wires.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.

Dark Suckers are only able to suck dark in a straight line. Dark, because of its mass, will not penetrate solid, opaque objects as it is being sucked by a Dark Sucker. When a Dark Sucker is operating, you will notice that dark that is behind a solid, opaque object does not flow through the object or around it to the Dark Sucker. Some of the dark will accumulate on the side of the object away from the Dark Sucker as the Dark Sucker attempts to pull it through the object. These residual patches of dark are often referred to as `shadows.'

Some surfaces are able to function as secondary Dark Suckers by sucking the dark from behind solid objects at an angle and then rerouting it to the primary Dark Sucker. These surfaces have a property we refer to as `reflective.'

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

So next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is not a light emitter but a Dark Sucker.
 
 

"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

MY FAVORITE:


 STUPIDITY IS NOT A CRIME
  YOU ARE FREE TO GO

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

OR

"Being good at Stupid doesn't count"

"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

(OP)
lol @ sprintcar

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

From http://www.despair.com

"Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.
Which is why Engineers sometimes smell really bad."

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

For the Mechie's and Mudheads to wear:

'Yo momma is an Electrical Engineer'

LewTam Inc.
Petrophysicist, Head Stockman, Gun Welder, Gun Shearer, Ski Instructor, Drama Coach.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

Mechanical Engineers build planes and missles
Civil Engineers build targets.

"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

what is an architect? a guy that was not man enough to be a civil engineer and not "strange" enough to be an interior decorator...

from which i derived (honest to G'd i came up with this one in a meeting)
what is an EHS specialist? a guy that was not man enough to be a plant engineer and not "strange" enough to be a nurse...


saludos.
a.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

t-shirt idea after mintjulep's absolute show of genius:

eng-tips: we will do your job, but not your homework.

saludos.
a.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

I would wear it.   

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

Saw somone's t-shirt the other day:

IRS: We have what it takes to take what you have.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

t-shirt idea:

Men are from Mars.
Women are from Venus.
My boss is from Uranus.


RE: T-Shirt ideas...

I used to have a t-shirt that had Homer Simpson's nuclear plant ID on the front and the plant blowing up with Homer at the control panel and the caption, "To err is Homer." on the back.  I wore that thing until it was thread-bare.

A good one-liner t-shirt might be...

Dilbert is a documentary.

Gary

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

I saw a t-shirt on a rather well endowed blond the other day - across the chest it read
"I wish these were brains"

Spotted another very pretty young lady driving a bright red Corvette with the license plate NOT 4 U

"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- by Albert Einstein

RE: T-Shirt ideas...



when I worked in sewer design, my boss had a shirt that said

"I am a sewage engineer, so I CAN push sh*t uphill!"

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

How about...

Civil engineers build targets,
Mechanical engineers build bombs.

Ken

TXiceman
www.rae-corp.com

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

1. A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

2. When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

3. Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

4. To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemical engineers solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

Wes C.
------------------------------
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions...

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

I can't give stars but bravo  to many of the above posts.  Laughed for about five minutes from boffintech's post.

While insitu in Atlanta, Georgia, I played flute with the Atlanta concert band.  One of the flautist's had a tee shirt with a picture of a flute at an angle across the chest and the words above said," If you've got"  and the words below, "flaut it"

I will leave you to guess what she was flauting.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

I think the best one I saw was:

What are you... stuck on STUPID?

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

MintJulep..

I award you a google-zillion stars.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

Men are from Earth
Women are from Earth
Get used to it

JMW
www.ViscoAnalyser.com

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

men are from mars
women are from venus
that's why is so hard to get la*d.

saludos.
a.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

In school we printed up some shirts that read:

FRONT: There are two types of engineers

BACK: civil and uncivil

Needless to say I majored in Civil.

RE: T-Shirt ideas...

How about:

  Extroverted Engineers look at YOUR shoes when talking

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