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Should I ask my Boss???????
3

Should I ask my Boss???????

Should I ask my Boss???????

(OP)
I have to preface this by saying that it is a serious question.

I have been asked by a reporter if I would like to participate, be interviewed and photographed for an article about belly dancing for a local magazine. As the process moves along, and I have to answer more personal questions about myself and what I do, I'm starting to feel a bit uneasy about how my employer might react.

Should I mention the article to my boss and ask if he has a problem with it?

Neither the place I work, nor the people I work with can be categorized as very conservative, however our client base is. I recently turned down a similar opportunity to be interviewed for an article on a different topic for another publication.

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

I you have already completed the interview it maybe to late to ask you boss if he has a problem with you after work "cultural activities".  If you have an open relationship with your boss I would casually keep him/her in the loop for future interviews.

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

(OP)

It's not too late, actually.  I've just completed some of the preliminary questions and some group photos from a class.  Eventually the reporter will have to ask me to sign a release form.  That's the point of no return.

I'm not really worried about my boss, or one of the partners.  It's the other partner that freaks at the smallest thing.

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

At most of my (statistically significant number of) former employers, getting your name in the paper was a "career decision", even if for very positive reasons, even if the employer was not identified.

Given a freak-able partner and a conservative client base, even casually mentioning the idea to your boss is a career decision.



Mike Halloran
NOT speaking for
DeAngelo Marine Exhaust Inc.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL, USA

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

What do you stand to gain from the article?  Is it more than you might lose if the partner freaks?

Do not trust reporters.  Not everything you say during an interview will be used, and what is used may be used out of the context that you intended.

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

I agree with MintJulep - the art of reporting has morphed from fair and accurate reporting of the facts to whatever will sell more than the competition.  Reporters these days are the pond scum that exists just above the lawyer layer.  Why else would they report on the recent death of General Westmoreland as the only officer to command a "losing war".

Blacksmith

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

Casseopeia,
Don't forget the reporter has a boss too.  He is called an Editor, and if he does not edit, he does not think he is doing his job.

Example:
Reporter - "So Cass why do you belly dance?"
Cass - "It's fun, great exercise, and let's me unwind after a day at the office."
Story submitted to editor - "Cass, who is a strucural engineer at a local consulting firm says she enjoys belly dancing, and does it for the exercise and unwinding after a hard day of engineering."
Story as printed (with a photo of Cass in full uniform dancing) - "Cass, an engineer on staff at White Shirt, Starch Shirt & Stuff Shirt Consulting dances to relieve the stress of working."

The point is you and the reporter may have a great working relationship on how the story will be reported, but the editor has final say on how all stories are printed.

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

It should be none of your boss's business as long as you leave out the company name. However, in this state you can get fired if your car has a Kerry bumper sticker.

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

Love It!!!

But prepare to go swimming in very cold water.
I know it is only a TV Show...but on Grey's Anatomy, one of the Interns posed in a underware add (to pay off student loans) Her co-workers posted her pictures everywhere.
That will really happen. So if you think no one might notice the article....think again!

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

Always ask yourself "would I like to see this in the papers tomorrow morning."

Frankly, I would like to see it in the papers tomorrow... How about a website? but I digress.

Do you want to be a belly dancer or an engineer? Or both? Don't be afraid of your hobby! By gosh, if you're part of a culture that regards belly dancing as high art, then you're an artist. Flaunt it!

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

Someday when your old you'll look back and wish you had done or not done many things.

I think Jenny Joseph wrote the poem which begins “When I am an old woman I shall wear purple with a red hat which doesn’t go..
What will you tell the children around you in 50 years??

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

Cass –

It seems to me that you have two opportunities here.

1. Say nothing to your boss and possible hurt your work relationship.

or

2. Talk to your boss and improve your work relationship.

By keeping quite you are really telling your boss that what you do on your own time is your business and that you come before your job.   There is nothing wrong with that statement as all of it should be true for anyone. However, when the statement is delivered by surprise (i.e. you boss being shown the article by a client) it has the same impact as though it were yelled at him/her.  That is, there is a negative feeling to the delivery.

By talking to your boss your really stating that you do have a life outside of the firm but that you care about your working relationship and the success of the company.  And by being proactive and bringing the issue up there is a possitive feeling to the delivery.

The only draw back I see to talking to your boss is that he/she might tell you not to do the article.  You need to head this off at the pass.  Your not asking for permission to do the article - you are simply informing you boss that you have participated and asking if it is alright to give information about where you work when your not dancing.  Others have mentioned the unscrupulous nature of the media.  If you boss doesn’t want the company name mentioned I would be sure to make that perfectly clear (in writing) to both the reporter and to his/her editor.

When evaluating “free” advice one should consider its cost when determining its worth.

Good Luck!



RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

While your personal life is indeed your own, you still present a certain persona of your professional life.  You, as a person, are identified by your dancing as well as being "employee of ABC company."  And, no doubt, you will most likely be identified in any article as such.

Therefore, while your personal life is yours, what you do in your personal life can affect the public reputation and perception of your company.  

Simple example, say that you're an axe-murderer . Would there be no ramifications upon your company?

TTFN



RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

The article is about bellydancing, not about you, so they're not going to into *that* much detail.  Most articles I've read about people engaging in their hobbies don't mention where the people have their day jobs.  In the few cases where they do, the interviewees may very well hav made a point of mentioning it.

If you don't mention the company name, they won't have it.  It's not high on their muckraking list to dig up that info.

My hobby is indirectly related to bars and lots of beer, but then my employer isn't as conservative.  (Though I probably shouldn't have mentioned the agency name into the microphone when I spotted several of my managers in a weekday early afternoon St. Patrick's Day crowd...)

If'n you talk to the boss, consider taking a more positive approach--"Hey, get this, someone wants to interview me about bellydancing!" & see if the tremors start.

Hg

Eng-Tips guidelines:  FAQ731-376

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

If you talk to your boss and they tell you not to do it, would that make them a target for a sexual discrimination lawsuit? Would they tell one of the guys not to race at the dirt track Saturday night if he gets his picture in the paper?

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

This thread reminds me of a phenomenom that I've often observed with engineers - most of what happens is just "life" and takes care of itself without a lot of analysis/discussion, but when any item is laid on the table it grows from "life" to "bigger than life".  

I can't say how many times an item in a project (that is just like the same item in dozens of prior projects) gets laid on the table with a slightly "wrong" spin and flies out of control (i.e., it goes from "the way we do things" to "you're going to kill the whole crew and adjoining populace").

This is just like that.  When you were first approached, it was "cool someone wants my opinion and my hobby is going to get some good press", but after some analysis it morphed into "am I missing a risk here?".  After a couple of days of analysis by well-intentioned engineers it further morphed into "how can you consider it, reporters are slime just marginally better than lawyers [I like that quote]?".

It is probably impossible at this point to put the genie back into the bottle, but HgTX has some really cogent advice - mention it in passing at work and don't ask permission at work or mention the company's name in the interview.  If you like the story, cut it out and post it on your cubical wall - key is the impression that it has no impact on your work or on the company.

David

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

(OP)
Thank you all!!

I am grateful for all the thoughtful advice.  I think Mint Julep, monkeydog and The Blacksmith have all identified my real fear, that the reporter or his editor will twist my words into something that 'fits' his angle with the possibility of an unflattering view.  You are so right!  I guess when this first came up it was low key, no big deal, just a little article in a little magazine (that's how they suck you in).  

The subject of the piece is one of my instructors who is a professional dancer.  I don't really know what the focus of the article is, 'Local Belly Dancer, Asset to the Community',  'Local Belly Dancer has residents Shaking Their Stuff in Public!', or Belly Dancing Class; Is this a Front for Terrorist Activity".  

The reporter said he just wanted some 'class photos' and asked if we would mind answering a few questions.  He was back at class last night and said that he liked the photos he took of me because I was in a more elaborate costume (I had just come from a dress rehearsal with a different group) and I looked like I really get into it.  And he liked my well-thought-out, articulate answers.  Out of the 22 students, he liked me and one other person in class.  OMG!  I can FEEL the slime as I see his words in print.  

So I asked my boss if he had a problem with my picture appearing in this publication. He couldn't think of any reason he would have a problem but then asked what would happen if he said he had a problem.  All I could think of was to suggest that I be identified by my dance name only, not my real name.  I told him to think about it and let me know.  He said OK, then later suggested when the article comes out, I bring in a copy and post it for the office.  I didn't ask him about the FreakyPartner's potential reaction.

I'm still suspicious about the reporter's motivation and haven't decided if asking him about the general tone of the article is better or worse.  

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

Maybe he was trying to make some moves on you!  But I agree with you about agenda driven reporters hidding behind the First Amendment.

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

There aren't a whole lot of Sekrit Agendas in the "Life and Arts" section of the paper.  Jeez, people, not to diminish Casseopeia nor bellydancing, but this is a fluff piece for Section D, not an exposé on government wrongdoing.  As ordinary citizens of the town, the local bellydancers are potential readers and not the kind of people the paper wants to go out of its way to piss off (along with all their friends, relations, and other sympathizers) for no good reason.

He probably really did like your articulate answers.  Not everyone speaks in a quotable manner; in fact most people don't.  So here's the evil agenda:  (1) show pretty dancers in pretty costumes, (2) come up with X column-inches of mildly entertaining text to put around the pretty picture (3) check out some babes and get paid to do so.  Not the most politically correct agenda in the world, but not one to tear worlds asunder either.

Hg

Eng-Tips guidelines:  FAQ731-376

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

(OP)
HgTX,

I think you are correct in that this is a fluff piece.  I also did not get the impression that he was hitting on me.  Way too many, younger, prettier and less jaded dancers in that class!

My impression of this reporter's thought process was more like "how can I make this little piece of fluff more interesting for myself."  He seemed a bit over-interested that I was casually attempting to learn Arabic and had a printout of the Arabic alphabet in my dance bag.

Or maybe I'm just a bit skittish from some things that happened recently.  Our appearance at a 4th of July parade brought out a few hecklers.  They weren't bad, just drunk at 11 in the morning.  At the Farmer's Market, one old guy asked if we were Osama's dancers.  (It wasn't until we well were off stage that I thought of any snappy answers.)

And the FreakPartner at work has been sending out his daily email rants about lack of productivity, dishes in the sink, all of you are lucky to have jobs, blah, blah blah.  I just try to stay out out the crosshairs.

I just didn't want a stupid magazine article to put my job in jeopardy.  Belly dancing is a hobby.  It does not pay the rent!

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

Quote:

There aren't a whole lot of Sekrit Agendas in the "Life and Arts" section of the paper.

And not too many Bob Woodward's either.

I didn't say the guy had an agenda, I said that the article may not reflect what you actually said.  I have been misquoted in various local papers more than once.

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

If your belly is telling you that this is a problem, I would be inclined to trust that. Especially a well developed belly dancing belly.

I suggest that you back away from this as fast as possible...

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

I think you should do it.  I think women in 'non-traditional' fields are much too easily swayed to modify their after work behaviour to please their conservative male bosses (& even coworkers). (I'm sure the woman in this forum could come up with enough examples of this to start a new thread)

Go ahead do the article, and enjoy it.  Use your dance name if you wish, but don't cancel the whole thing.

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

casseopeia,

Is this a magazine or a paper?  If you were to pick up a copy or issue, what would you think of it in terms of publication quality after reading through it?  Are there other articles that this reporter has done that you could review possibly to see how it might be spun.

Your occupation is one of your public personna's.  So is your hobby of belly dancing.  Disparate though they be, one can have effects on another.  I think it wise that you had at least broached the subject with your boss and to have spent some time thinking about it.

For what it is worth, at a former employer, the company president was not fond of my hobby of auto racing.  After an "emergency project" requiring my presence on what would have been race weekend for me (had paid the entry fee and booked accommodations).  I needed to sit down and discuss his "concerns".  We both came out with a better understanding of each other.

Regards,

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

Well, you talked to your Boss. Seems to be no problem. As previously stated, don't mention the Company name.

Do YOU want to do the interview, would you show it to your Father/Mother?  Enjoy yourself.

We're not on this Earth for a long time...We're here for a Good Time. Party On.

Jeez...it's just Belly Dancing!

Forget my "Ol Fart" response previous. Some days I just act my age.  (listen to HgTX)

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

A similar story you may enjoy.......

The following is cut and pasted from a web site.  This story also appeared in the Philadelphia Inquirer:

"Off with hard hat, on with ballet shoes": Jim Verzella is the man behind some of the biggest buildings in Philadelphia. He's vice president in charge of construction on the Comcast Center, a $465 million behemoth that will be Philadelphia's tallest building. The Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts? That was his baby. Commerce Square in Center City and the Tweeter Center in Camden? Ditto. In fact, Verzella figures he's had a hand in most of the city's 'scraper skyline, not to mention several suburban notables. Now, building the bigs is no piece of cake, not with millions of dollars at stake and casts of thousands to steer. What does a guy like this do to clear the head, leave the hard hat behind? Play a few rounds of golf, perhaps? Play some poker with the guys?

Actually, how about dancing Swan Lake?

"It's a release. It relaxes me. It gets my mind away from the job," said Verzella, 52, whose official title is vice president of marketing for L.F. Driscoll Co. "When I walk in that stage house, my mind goes blank." Put it in the people-are-seldom-only-what-they-seem file: This weekend and next, this construction executive from Collingswood will play Wolfgang, the prince's tutor, in the Ballet NJ production of the Tchaikovsky classic.



RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

that's great PEinc!  

Let me extend my previous comment to include repressed male employees also!  

I bet if this guy was Casseopia's boss she wouldn't have thought twice about doing the article

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

(OP)
OK, never one to shy away from a little research.  The Publication looks like a 'City' Magazine wannabe a la San Francisco Magazine or Chicago Magazine.  I can't tell if it's a stand-alone publication, or a once-a-month insert in the local paper.  Their Mother Ship is the New York Times.  Reprints of the WHOLE MAGAZINE costs $3.  I'd say that kinda puts it in the special newspaper section category.

Cover stories for the past 6 months include 'Artistic Expression and Pottery', 'In the Movies', 'Got Milk...and Wine?' with subsection articles for 'Local Nightlife', 'Home Brewing' and 'Local Ballerinas Practice for the Nutcracker.'  HgTX, I think you pegged this one right on the money.

I did not find an article written by this reporter in this publication for the last 6 months.  I'm trying not to dwell too much on that little fact.

rerig, I did not think your first post fell into the Old Fart category.  You actually picked up on a concern of mine that I have not stated outright, that I have some degree of vulnerability in my position where I work.  I really should consider even the mildest effects, or be prepared for unhappy results.

MintJulep, Your warnings are equally well-founded.  Your post reminded me to be cautious in what I say, no matter how innocuous the article may be.

PEinc, Great article and photo!  I have to make one or two observations, however.  Jim Vezella, the dancing contractor, needs to be more mindful of his form!  He supinates (rolls to the outside) his feet, especially the left one.  Columns work best when the forces are parallel to the major axis and so does your leg.  He's forcing his lower body to fight off the lateral torsional buckling at his ankle.  That can cause foot, leg hip and back problems.  And he would do better to 'lift' his chest up out of his pelvis.  You get better mobility and once again, it doesn't put as much stress on the lower back.

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????

I can only imagine the abuse Jim Verzella got from the union construction workers when he went to the jobsite the day after the article appeared in the Philadelphia newspaper!  For the record, Jim is a top notch construction professional for a major CM.

RE: Should I ask my Boss???????


casseopeia

I’m coming into this late with nothing more to add really, but if you have done a little research on this publication and found that is reputable, I don’t see any concern as to things being distorted when it goes to press.

I understand your concerns but what is with the Freakmeister worrying about what his clients think if they see an article featuring you and the art in the Life section of the weekend paper.  How conservative can these people be?  I would imagine that most would find the article both interesting and enlightening.

As was said before, it’s belly dancing, an art form with cultural expression and a touch of eroticism which nobody with the slightest intellect  would construe as being lewd in any way, shape or form.  Anyone who did should search their own souls for underlying problems.

As to the origin of the dancing, I doubt that there many who see this as being a front for anything any more than they see from the members of the Scottish Rite wearing the Fez.
Heaven forbid that your dance troupe and the Shriners end up on a watch list after Saturday’s performance.

Got a laugh from your post where you analyzed Jim Verzella’s “columns” and noticed that you didn’t touch on the slenderness ratio. However, after looking at the picture, it is obvious that that number is adequate.

Going to the pub now to thank a few members, including yourself, for the posts of welcome.  Keep us posted on the resolve of your dilemma.

Good luck,

Haggis   

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